Grit!

Howdy! It's the day after the longest day.....on Thursdays, I get up at 5 am to run to class and clinical for 6 hours. Then I run home to shower and eat a peanut butter sandwich then head to campus to teach a four hour class. Am I tired? Uh, yep....Fridays are lost days as I try to work my energy back up. With that said, Diva and I are sitting here together as I type my thoughts and she enjoys her morning nap.

Yesterday was tough for ole BPM.....there is a school policy that if a student shows up late for a practicum, he or she must be sent home. No exceptions....oye! As I sat with my group at 6:30 a, I looked around and was missing the most diligent, perfectionist, Type A student that I have ever had. Yikes! All I could think of was that she had an accident or was dead.....When she arrived at 7, I had to send her home because of the  late policy. I had no choice as I called the course coordinator who also did not want to send her home, but had to.....anyway.....flash forward to 8pm last night.....



As I was teaching with a burst of Snickers energy, one of the instructors knocked on my door and mentioned that my tired little perfectionist was still crying. Oye! That's 12 hours of crying which was induced by me. She also had not eaten all day and was about to drop over....my fault again....

The instructor did her best to calm her and then two of her friends took her out for food. It was not a pretty day for us. As I look back on it, I know that she did not deliberately sleep through 4 alarms and that she was completely and utterly exhausted. College can do that for a person, so I started to think about a research study that I had read during the summer on grit.



Yeah, grit....Not True grit, but real grit! Grit is a determination to achieve your goals when all is against you. A person who is gritty does not stop until the goal is actualized. I believe that my son is gritty and therefore will make it. On the other hand, I have always known that I was not the brightest bulb in the arsenal and therefore had to work harder to achieve my personal and professional goals. I also know that no one is going to hand you anything, you must work for it.



With that said, last night in class, we took the Grit survey. Click on this link for more information on grit and take the test. I scored a 4.25 out of 5. I think that my score makes me one gritty gal. How about you?

Have a great day! 

Dunkin Donuts Days

Good morning! It's cold and windy here and I am waiting for word on my car. In the past 3 weeks, it has been in the repair shop 5 times. Yes, that is one more than four and one less than six. Here is the story:



Over the past few weeks, the car has had a hesitation as I accelerated which could be construed as dangerous. As I dropped it off with my local repairman, he could not find the issue. Then it continued, I dropped it off two more times....he could not see or feel the hesitation. Yikes...so it was time to take it back to the dealer which I have hesitated doing since they charge me big bucks just to drive it through the garage door. They immediately found the problem with the computer and had to order a part which took four days. As the car was returned to me last Thursday, I noticed that the hesitation persisted and voila! I do not have my car again. Lucky for me that I have one of their loaner cars, but I really want my personal wheels back. After all, my seat is adjusted, radio stations are perfected, and my stuff is in my car. Please, please, give me my car back! And make sure that it is fixed before I drop on the ground and have a seizure or two. By the way, can you wash it too?



Whew! Is it happy hour yet?



I heard from the big kid and he earned a B in the big Spanish test. This is not bad considering he thought that he failed it in a big way. Then he mentioned that he plans on kicking major butt in the next test to bring up the grade. I like his intensity.....sort of.....



Will this intensity translate into anything big? well, perhaps....after he hung up the phone last night, he went to a field to throw his weighted balls, then head to the library. Intense? yep....

Although, he made me chuckle as he said that he eats a king size Snickers bar before he studies each night. Why did I chuckle? Well, in the old days, I would run to Dunkin Donuts, grab a medium coffee and chocolate cake donut, eat and drink, then start to write my dissertation. The sugar and caffeine got me through a number of hours at the computer.  There is something about the mixture of the two substances that can get my lazy brain to fire on a few cylinders. Now, my son's personal brain stimulator is a Snickers bar. He's a chip off his momma's block...I gotta say.



Today, I am loaded with work as the semester starts to wind down. The students are in a funk as the grades that they are earning are either scaring or encouraging them. In my major, they must earn a C+ or better in each major course to continue. This is scary for many of them. In grad school, we needed a 3.0 to graduate. Yes,  I was concerned but was able to aptly hit the target and graduated. Yet, when I finished my masters degree, I swore that I would never read again....ever...not a newspaper or book. I hated reading since that is all that I did.....after a period of time, I picked up a People magazine on an airplane and rediscovered my love for reading. But I remember making that vow of never reading again in my car on Market Street in Philadelphia as I drove to one of my last classes. I can still recall how my eyes would burn and I would fidget in the chair as I read articles, research, papers, and books. Ahhhh! It feels so good NOT to be in school anymore! Yahoooooo!

After I finished the dissertation, I never had a DD chocolate donut again. I won't look at them...won't order one. They actually taste greasy to me. But, in hindsight, I can look back on my DD days and be grateful for the concoction that got me through my doctoral studies.

Wow, I really went way off the mark on this post~ With that said, I have a mountain of work and papers to complete. No time for anything else except pick up my car if it is fixed. Please, oh please, oh pleaseeee!

Later!

Bullies Part 1

Good cold and breezy morning to all. Yes, it is a chilly one today as Tink and I tried to attend the 6:30 a mass across town. She had a babysitting date with Lil A since Dr. G had an early morning surgery. As we arrived at church 5 minutes late for 6:30 am mass, we realized that we were actually 25 minutes early for the 7 am mass. It was pretty obvious when there was no one in the pews. I guess that I read the online schedule wrong....oops.....Chalk this one up to age, perhaps? 




On to the big guy....he reports that he did not do well in the Spanish test on Friday night. Oh well, can anyone say 'no, problemo?' He has three weeks left of Spanish and here's hoping the he can squeeze a passing grade out of the course.



Now that we are all in our relaxed state on this crisp morning, I will comment on the Miami Dolphins hazing incident....here goes....

It is assumed that this big linebacker, Incognito and his pals have been mercilessly bullying an offensive lineman. Apparently, this is an unspoken activity in all team locker rooms. The bullies prey on the newbies and the weaker ones. They get their kicks out of the victims responses and therefore, get some type of testosterone rush. When I asked my girl friend if her son who is a NFL quarterback was hazed this year, she said probably, but he won't talk about it. Further, the starting QB sat with him at lunch and introduced himself on the first day of practice. This seems somewhat civil.

Back to the Dolphins, it all started when the victim, had to miss two weeks of a voluntary practice (which are never really voluntary) to take his final exams. When he finally arrived in Miami, he began to be harassed and bullied. People ask why someone who is so big could be a victim of bullying? My answer is anyone could be bullied. I witnessed a number of times when Tink and Buddy were bullied and they were devastated. I, too, had been bullied in grade school. These things are not easily forgotten, but the taunts that we received were much different than the Miami Dolphins acts of retribution.




The victim is obviously a sensitive guy. Why can't a big guy be sensitive? I remember Big M's room mate from college who was also an offensive lineman. The last time that I saw him, he was talking about growing blueberries as his wife baked them into a pie. Blueberry bushes? This guy would have torn the head off of any defensive player and now he is talking about cobbler?



Yeah! he is....and he is a really nice guy. And so, appearances can be deceiving and this victim is still being bullied in the press as they say: "He should have punched him. He should have stood up to him....and so on..." We now live in an age of 'no tolerance' and this guy has been told over the years that  he is not to fight especially since he could kill someone with his size. Tuna, my nephew is one very big kid who plays foot ball and rugby. Oh, by the way, he has a black belt in karate. He is not allowed to fight either. With his size and skills, he could kill someone.

And so, there is a double standard...stand up for yourself...and use your words.....but don't hit. If you don't, you are a coward. If you do hit, you are a coward and a bully. These guys are in a no win situation. How does a person respond?

I remember when the big leftie made the varsity baseball team as a freshman in high school much to the displeasure of the upper classmen. These older guys tortured him until they graduated. One third baseman told him that when he pitched, he was not going to run for the ball. I am pretty sure that the coach did not know this...also, the kids would call him a 'terrorist' because his skin was a shade darker than the fair haired blue eyes guys. With his heritage, he has Spanish and Italian lineage as well as Slovak, Irish, and Scottish (a true mutt). Any way, they would scream at him about his looks resembling someone who would bomb a building in the name of his religion. Hmmm....no one called this bullying, did they?




With that said, we have an odd and very screwed up society in which we worship athletes and the Kardashians (Really not sure why, o why?). There are rules that no one abides by and because of someone's status, they can get away with saying or doing abhorrent things to the innocent.

Here's the way that I look at it....when you see something happening of significance to someone who is weaker, stand up for the guy or girl who can not stand up for themselves. The kids, marginalized, and most vulnerable need our help, support, and vigilance. There will always be bullies and victims, but it is our responsibility to assist and advocate for those who cannot. With that said, I hope that this incident sheds light on something that has happened over the ages. When will it stop? Probably never....but as my friend, Big Girl says to her boys who are really big guys and football players "if you stand around while someone is being taunted or injured, then it is just as if you are doing it."

Don't be a coward....do what is right. And remember, the right decision is usually the hardest thing to do. It is way easier to turn your back on the powerless.....

Time for Zumba!

You've got a friend in me

Good morning...it's a slow one and I still have my coffee in my hand as last night was a late one.

We attended a fund raiser for adults living with autism and partied with over 500 people. While dancing, and yes, I had a few vodka cranberries, Sparky in all of her loveliness videotaped it and sent it to the big kid in the mountains.

He immediately called his dad to report my inability to groove and wanted to forward the video to him. If I see it on anyone's Facebook, I will deny everything.





By the way, Tink was my designated driver and she did a terrific job.

Actually, we all needed to cut loose a bit with the stress in our lives and did it in a pseudo-healthy way....after all, I did have cranberry juice with my vodka. No boxed wine tonight, I think that my liver is tired.

As we settled into the party and danced the night away while losing every silent auction and Chinese auction that we entered, I began to loosely reflect on why we attend this fundraiser each year. It was started by my brother and sister in law after their son and my nephew was diagnosed with autism.




As he turns 21 this year, he looses all of his funding and services, and has no where to go. As a result, my brother has started this foundation to assist adults with autism as they search for ways where they can live with esteem, value, and independence. The night was a great success but the best part of all was when my nephew stood before the audience and sang "You've got a friend in me" from Toy Story. He is a great Disney fan and calls people by his selected Disney name. BP Grandmom and Grandpop are Mr. and Mrs. Banks from Mary Poppins, Lil A is Lilo and I am Mary Poppins. Big Sis was Ursula but has been changed to another name. His dad is Jafar and brother is Woody. Guess what, in an odd way, we resemble these characters. And so, in January when he turns 21, they are going to have a birthday party and we are to show up as our Disney characters. 

Nothing else is really going on...although in a future post, I would love to have a dialog about the Miami Dolphins and the bullying incidents. I do have a perspective that will have to wait until the caffeine kicks in.


Have a great day!

Enjoying the moment

Good morning! Special thanks to Wildcat from sending me a virtual note about my faux pas in class on Tuesday and made me laugh until I snorted. Yep, a snort is a deep, hearty laugh from a person who can only breathe out of one side of her nose. I actually can not help it and only surgery, which I am not going to have, will fix the deviated septum.

Am I scared of surgery? Hmmm.... yeah!

OK, what else is new? Well, I'll tell ya....you see, every time I teach my classes, my kids decide that it is time to call me. I have the phone muted but it vibrates and makes noise. When I check, it's one of them. Honestly, I am teaching three classes per week. Why can't they remember this?

Their memory seems to be flawless about other things like what they got in their Christmas stockings at the age of four, when I accidentally put Tink on the bus when she did not have school in the 5th grade and lost her for about an hour, and how Santa did not bring 'peace on earth' like Tink asked for every year on the top of her list. She also know that Santa never gave her that Dell laptop that was second on her list after peace on earth. And therefore, I know that the brain cells are firing in their heads. It is just selective when it comes to remembering that BP ma has a life outside of fulfilling their culinary and banking needs.

I had a nice conversation with the big kid on the way home from class last night around 10:30p. He has a big...and I mean BIG Spanish test tonight at 8pm. That's right...8 pm....this is preventing him from coming home this weekend. Further, the guys have left town for their homes or Pittsburgh.
Pittsburgh? Yeah, apparently, there is a casino there and they are spending the weekend gambling and hanging out with their friends who attend schools there. I actually liked Pittsburgh when I visited it a few years back, although the region was dirty from the steel factories. With that said, he will be alone this weekend as the football team is also out of town. Whaddya know....no complaints about anything will be forthcoming. Although, you never know, he could find something to be unhappy about.... After all, life is so unfair as he unwrapped the keys to a car last Christmas and giddily drove it until it could no longer drive. Then took over his sister's car and has been a happy independent college senior since....Yes, it is all so unfair.

Hey, on another note, Tink's first day in the supermarket was a great success. Yes, she was doing the 'paper or plastic' thing, then handing the bags to the 'guests' and thanking them for stopping by. As BP grandmom and grandpop and I snuck into the store to see some of the specials, we met a 'phan phave'...the Philly Phanatic AND had our photo taken with him. He's a big green thing who makes fun of just about everyone and everything and he talks! Yes, I thought that he was a silent mascot, but no....he actually speaks to people as he said hello to BP grandmom and grandpop. The Phanatic predicted that the Phightin' Phils would be a better team next year. Hmmm....is he a prophet? Who knows.

Anyway, there was a small area in the store where people could buy a sandwich and have lunch. And so, we bought a hoagie, chips, and a drink and split them three ways. The entire meal cost $5.00. Before we entered the store, our Tink gave to me a $5.00 coupon. Therefore, our lunch was free! Yep! Nice! As we sat and chatted about the store, Tink, global warming, and the next presidential election (yeah, right), guess who went though the lunch area to the bathroom? If you guessed the Phanatic, you win a $5.00 lunch. Yes, apparently, the Phanatic needed to use the phacilities. We continued to eat and not really care about the Phanatic when someone other than the big green monster emerged from the rest room. Yes, there was someone in the Phanatic costume and he was not green. He is actually a guy in his 50's who was wet from perspiration and carried a very large tote bag which is probably where he stuffed his monster costume.

This was all to much to take in.....my world was off its axis....Tink has a job that she loves, Buddy is not complaining about fatigue and wants to come home to see his ma and dog, and the Phanatic is really a 50 year old man. What's next? Will I win the lottery? Nah, let's not go that far. Let's enjoy the moment knowing that something special happened this week as pieces of the BP family began to fall into place.

With that said, Diva is in need of a walk, and I am still in my fuzzy pajamas. What a sight for the neighbors....enjoy the day!

Digging for change

Good morning. Tink has been bouncing around today and chattering since it is her first day in the new grocery store. Last night, management held a party for the workers and she brought me as her date (so nice). As we walked into the new store, we were greeted by a woman who gave us name tags and mints. Then we turned right and were given veggie chips which were not bad. Walking down the produce aisle, we realized that there was a food station at the end of each aisle giving samples of food to the partiers. That's when the fun started....freshly cooked roasted turkey sandwich sliced by the butcher, drinks by the soda aisle, cake near the bakery, hot dogs, soup, salads, wings, meatballs and ice cream! It was like we were at a party at a supermarket! Oh, that's right....we were....Dang, we ate so well and hobbled home. It was a neat way to open the store and meat (I mean 'meet') Tink's manager and co workers. Today BP Grandmom and pop are going to meet me there and will have our photos taken with the Philly Phanatic....yep, that's basically my life in a nutshell...eating, shopping at the food store, and hanging out with a local team's mascot.

On another note, I lost my cool in class yesterday. I never did this before but I was pushed by a group of manner-less people. Here's the story....last week during our weekly college bowl game, I had the teams compete for points on their final grades. As teams, they had 5 seconds to answer some tough questions about content that they either read or had in class. One student froze and blurted out the wrong answer for his team knowing that it was wrong. He stressed out. It happens to all of us which is why I play this game in class...to get the students to think quickly under pressure. As he blurted out the wrong answer, one of his team mates screamed at him "you idiot!" Yes, it was malicious and unwarranted. I stopped the game and asked the teams to respect one another....OK, so yesterday....

The students had a big exam yesterday morning and were still wired. That's their issue, not mine. Anyway, a few of them never settled into class and were disruptive as I showed videos, slides, and lectured. At one point, there were several classmates who were talking and laughing across aisles. I tried to ignore it, then I fumbled, and had to stop. I then went into reaction mode....in other words, I went 'postal'...."Excuse me. I cannot continue since I am very distracted." The class stopped and looked at me.

"I can't do this. Please take 5 minutes, leave the classroom and come back when you are ready. I can't teach under these conditions."

No one got up until I said it again...."Please get up and go outside. Get whatever it is that you need to say to each other said and then come back." Shocked, about ten students got up and walked out, probably to discuss how they were going to put a net over my head and have me committed.

I was so angry that I put my head down and wrote a fast email to dad: "I just stopped class....laughing...and disrespect...ridiculous.." I hit click....then I looked at the front of the room and my email was there. The left over students could see everything that I wrote. OYE! That's right. In my attempt to decompress, they read my email as I wrote it. Guess what? I spelled 'ridiculous' wrong too.

It was not a good moment, day, year, month, or millennium for ole BP mom. Now I know that I have not only lost muscle tone in my right arm through lack of use, but also my mind from overuse. It is time for happy hour. As Lt Colonel Henry Blake said to his assistant Radar O'Reilly in MASH: "Where is the key to the liquor cabinet?" When the students returned, I had a "come to Jesus" talk and even pointed my finger as to the lack of respect. I also told them that I would no longer tolerate it and if they needed to, they were permanently dismissed from class. Yep, I gave it to them. One note, I really felt bad for the people who did nothing, but let me tell you, they were just as distracted by the laughter and chatter as I was.

With that said, after class was finally over....one student...just one....came to me to apologize. That's it...out of 10 or so, 1 had the decency and guts to walk to the front and say that she was sorry. After, I offer her my admiration, and am miffed at the people who gathered their bags and left in a huff. These are the individuals who had better NOT ask me for a reference when they graduate, because their true selves were exposed in class. They are going to have to rebuild their relationship with their professor before the end of the semester. Just sayin'




All right, enough pontificating and focus on my woes and constant faux pas. Is there a way to take a vacation from life for a while? Does Apple Vacations have a package plan that can offer a trip to nowhere that is relaxing and can take your mind off your troubles? I wonder...do they call this a day at the spa?



I actually went to Sh'Bam after class thinking that a work out would be beneficial but as my mind wandered back to school, I started making goofy mistakes and could not keep up in class and looked like a doofus. I was making myself more stressed with my remedy for stress. Did that one make sense?

And so, it is only Wednesday morning and I need the weekend to come....pronto.....I wonder if George Washington ever felt this way? Abe Lincoln? Mary Lincoln? Richard Nixon? Richard Simmons? Retail therapy would help if dad had not told me just yesterday not to spend money. Now what? I have a verbal freeze on the credit card. Does he have any idea how stressful that is? Now I will have to dig under the chair cushions, through my coat and blazer pockets, and in my pocketbooks in the closet for some quarters and dimes to go to the new grocery store....maybe I will find a 5 dollar bill.....breathe in and out.....out and in.....namaste......



Later!