Stick to your day job

Good morning! Is it? I think so. My nephew is outside clearing the autumn leaves and I asked him to take down my 'hokey' lights. Apparently, it is going to snow this week, so let's get them now. Yes, I do have young adults living at home who could take the lights in, but Buddy is in the south and Tink is currently in bed. I have to grab help when I can get it. You know what I mean?




Before I began this note, I had my coffee and began to google 'removing paint from a carpet'. Why? OK, fade to black.......

On to my latest faux pas.....

Yesterday, Dr G and I had a great idea to paint Lil A's room. Now that she is a tween, she no longer likes the baby stuff so we had the wonderful idea to paint the room sea foam green. Pretty, yes?


I texted Dr G on Saturday and told him to pick up the paint for a Sunday date. When he asked if I had the supplies, I laughed. "Nope, you have to get them."



And get them, he did.....he bought two cans of paint and a roller. That's it.

Arriving late Sunday morning, I inspected the supplies....Uh, don't we need paint brushes? Yep.

Uh, don't we need that flat thing that you pour the paint into and roll the roller? Yep.

Uh, don't we need more than 1 brush? Yep.

Don't we need a tarp? Yep.

It seems that the trip to Home Depot was for the paint only. The guy was clueless as to what he needed. To be fair, so was I.

And so, after three trips to area stores and prepping the sites where the posters ripped the walls we began. My job was to line the moldings with paint tape and paint above and below them with a brush. His job was to use the roller and paint the longer walls. On the other hand, Tink just sort of helped to do things....different things....I still do not know what.

As I bent over to paint the wall, I sheepishly said: "Hmmm, this is my first time ever to paint a wall."

He laughed...."Mine too."

Ooops. This is trouble. real trouble....The three of us called ourselves Moe, Larry, and Curly. Although they would have done a better job. "Hey Moe, do you paint in one direction or several?"



"Larry, I have no clue. Try both ways."

"Hey Moe, how many doctors does it take to paint a room?"

"Larry, apparently none. We should have hired a painter."

"Hey Moe, this is looking pretty good.....ooops!"





Yeah, then it happened. The paint splashed onto the carpet. Yikes! Quick, Curly, where is the turpentine? What? We don't have turpentine?

Quick, Curly, I need a clean rag! What? We don' t have any clean rags?

Quick, Curly, get Lil A's bath towels....and so it went.....paint everywhere. Hands, hair, feet, clothes, green painted socks were removed and tossed, and the carpet was ruined.....



Not under my watch. Quick, Curly, call BP Grandmom! Stat! And so, an "SOS" call went out to BPGmom as she gave us a home remedy to remove the stains from the carpet. The combination of white vinegar, soap, and warm water helped, but you can still see where where the stains are and I don't like it.



As we finished the room, it was time for us to go home and have dinner. All in all, it looked pretty good. The next step is to add some kind of finish to create an illusion of waves. Lil A is a surfing nut.


Ok, so, how do we create the waves? The reply was naturally to google it and watch a You tube of the procedure. Nice....



As Tink and I relaxed after a long afternoon of painting, I texted Dr G. Knowing that he was headed to Home Depot this afternoon for 'supplies', I told him to ask the paint dude how to get paint out of carpet. His reply was to prevent it by laying a tarp on the area. Sheesh...everyone is a comic....

And so, today, I will do my best to get the green paint out of the rug and create a beautiful mural of lovely splashing waves. Am I in over my head? What do you think? I believe that this is a 'one and done' type of situation. Both Dr G and I learned that we should stick to our day jobs.


Have a nice day!

No pressure; no diamonds

Good rainy morning! Dad and the big kid made it safely to the south to see the grandparents after a 15 hour flight related ordeal. When the 7 am flight was cancelled due to plane malfunction, they caught a 1 pm to Atlanta and were on stand by for a 7 pm to Savannah. Uh huh....they arrived around at their final destination around midnight. They could have driven faster. Anyway, the day was not over for the leftie as I received a 1 am phone call asking me what the pass code was to open  the garage. It seems that once he arrived, he took his weighted balls to a local school, worked out, and returned to the house to find it locked up. With all asleep, he did not want to wake anyone  so he called me.

Yep, I guess he felt that I was sitting by the telephone in the middle of the night knitting a scarf. It's OK to wake mom. She's on call 24/7. As he begged me to remember the passcode, my head spun a bit as I worked it out. Sha-bam....even in the middle of the night, the brain continues to work. The garage door opened and he was safely in the house. Crazy? yeah.

But think about it. Only a few years ago, he would not have had weighted balls, an automatic pass code to enter a garage or a cell phone. What would he have done? I suppose the answer would be to ring the door bell. Just sayin'

This brings me back to the leftie as I have watched his work ethic since he has been home for the holidays. On Friday, I went to the Y with him as he did a 'double lift'. He was there three hours. I left, showered, read a book, cleaned the garage, painted the outside of the house, and had a make over by the time he returned home. His body fat percentage is 7% and he does not eat anything with sugar or fat unless it is part of his diet. He is bound and determined to make it. On the other hand, my body fat percentage is the exact opposite.

I gave him a shirt for Christmas that says: "No pressure; No diamonds." He wears it now as he works out. It reminds him of his goal.

He was peeved when the scouts sent LW (his former nemesis) letters of interest. Knowing that he did not receive them because he did not play over the summer and was on his way back to the mound last year, only pushed him harder. He is not letting it go and will prove to all that he has what it takes. This spring should be very interesting.

Gopher called over the holidays to report to him that someone had uploaded a phony baseball website with the team's break down and their stats. In the website, it says that he is difficult and has a 90-92 mph fast ball. He was not happy about the difficult part but was happy to see the fastness of his pitch. The rest of the stats were phony as they reported that he had a 32.0 earned run average and pitched multiple innings. Since he only pitched 8 innings, the entire website should be taken down, but someone out there has an ax to grind with him. I am not sure how to report it or have the stats amended, but let's just ignore it. 'cause the haters are gonna hate no matter what a person does. That is fact.

On a positive note, the kick off dinner is on February 1st as the team, families, and supporters gather for speeches and promises about the impending season. Then the first pitch is thrown on February 14th in North Carolina. I will be there in the seats with my LL Bean minus 20 degree down coat, hand warmers, boots, two hats, two scarves, a turtleneck, warm long underwear, and five layers of clothes. I am hopeful that Chill and Blue Devil will join me as we shiver and wait for the kid to either start the game or come out of the dug out.

And now it begins.....more later.....

peace!

Fabrication: Is it unethical?

News flash! From the BP Mom household: "The desire to start Weight Watcher's was thwarted in hour two as BPM finished off the chocolate caramels given to her by the Soup Nazi." That's right. It is not even New Years and I have blown off my post Christmas resolution. So what...I have more time.....sort of.....

Today is a big day! Yep, really big! I can spend my Kohls cash that I earned last week when I purchased all of the gifts on one trip. Thanks to BP Grandmom's 30% off coupon, I saved over $600.00 and earned $60.00 Kohls cash. Now that works!

I realized an important concept....that if you wait until the last minute, the department stores begin to give away their stock. Hey, I am not choosy. The kids do not need the latest toys or computer. All I have to do is find gifts that they can wear or use and place them under the tree. Gone are the days when I would open a toy store to grab a Fisher Price plastic castle that catapults play boulders off the roof onto the Fisher Price Pirates ship. Yep, that kind of frenzy is over....until I have grandchildren....then.....

I advise all readers to purchase Fisher Price stock, 'cause BP Granny will be on the job with her credit card in her hand and elbows out defeating the foe...another granny who wants the same toy for her bratty grandchild....Let me tell ya...the other granny will be struck down as I sprint to the plastic toy section. Speaking of which, those toys are indestructible....I wonder what happens to them. Are they melted down to re use or are they in a landfill (which makes me sad).

And so, the holiday is over....an abrupt stop and it is time to reflect on 2013 and look forward to another year. As I look back, I broke another resolution and checked my work email. In the In box were the student evaluations from my classes. The ones that I was most interested in was the responses from the leadership class where they fell asleep or chatted while I spoke. Some were cruising the internet. I was going to take a photo with the camera on my cell phone to flash on the screen showing them what I saw when I spoke.

Anyway, for the most part, the evaluations were positive....but there was one......I asked the students to interview a leader after the group had decided together on 10 questions to pose. The papers were pretty good, but one student in the evaluation anonymously wrote that he/she made the paper up and did not interview anyone.

Hmmmm.....at first I was taken aback by the confession. Was this student looking for absolution? Then I got a bit miffed...what does that mean? Made up an interview? And admitting to it! It's not like the students did not have enough time to find someone at their clinical sites to speak to. It was more of not wanting to put themselves out because he or she did not see the merit of the course content. However....35% of their national test is based on this class. Therefore, I do not want anyone crying to me like they did when they flunked the final exam. I will have no pity. In fact, I question whether this is an ongoing process in college. In a classroom setting, are the students manufacturing case studies and interview papers? If so, there is no critical thinking and I really do not want them to have a college degree.

Yet, I believe that this is pervasive in our society as millenials are unable to communicate with anyone past their cell phones. Yesterday, Tink called me from her bed room. Really, Tink...really?

And now, for the rest of the day, I am going to ponder this entity and wonder what I can do about it as a pseudo clueless college professor....Would I have made up an interview in college? Perhaps....Would I admit to it? Uh, duh, Never! Therefore, they hide under the cloak of the internet and will not be good clinicians. After all, the heart of my profession is the communication process. if he or she cannot communicate face to face with their patients then we will have to put cell phones in their hands and have them text their patients.

Just a thought.....among many to follow....got to exercise!

Later!

Electric sneakers

Merry Christmas! OK, Merry Day After Christmas when all of the sales begin again....

With the lateness of Thanksgiving and the lack of personal time to get everything done, it has been an ordeal trying to make merry for the family. As I was flat on my back on Monday afternoon, I let it all go....There was nothing that I could do.

And guess what? No one noticed that it was not up to my high, unrealistic standards. We had a great day with family.

There were some crazy things that happened. For example, on Christmas Eve, I wanted to turn on the family room television for the news and it would not turn on. But it clicked and clicked and clicked for over an hour until I found the plug underneath to pull it out from the electrical socket. That was weird and now what happens? Do they still have television repair men who make house calls? 'Cause I cannot get this tv off the wall.  Perhaps, I can decorate it and call it a conversational piece.



I also refused to leave the house on Christmas Eve thinking that I could infect the neighborhood or any other family member who came into close contact with me. And so, I hid....The neighbors get together on Christmas Eve each year to fill luminaries with sand and candles and place them throughout the neighborhood. Naturally, there is alcohol involved, but I stayed away as the neighbors with the golf cart delivered the luminaries to each house and placed them carefully at the curb. It is a nice thing to do and makes the neighborhood look festive. However, today there are multiple houses with the burned out bags still in front of the homes....I guess we need another 1 pm happy hour to get the kids out to pick up the bags.

 

As the snow falls, I am able to look at the burned out luminary bags and the kids with their new electric scooters. Doesn't anyone walk anymore? They have the electric cars, carts, and golf cars. Now they have scooters too. What is next...electric powered sneakers? Anyway, with the snow, this little kid with a helmet  is scooting around the cul de sac. I wonder if he has snow tires on that thing...hope so...Actually, I did not know that it was going to snow today. Perhaps if I had a workable family room television, I would have caught the news and weather report.

Ok, no complaining on the 26th. We had a nice and almost quiet holiday. Dr G opens his home to us each year as we eat, drink, and are merry for an afternoon. The holiday ping pong tournament with the Santa trophies went off with controversy as some one pulled out of the bracket early. I drew Lil A in the first round and knew that I was toast. Yep, she schooled me on her ping pong table and I quietly walked to the bar and poured some holiday cheer into my glass to toast her. When all was said and done, the finals of the competition pitted daughter versus father. In the end, Lil A pulled it out as she has been crowned 2013 Ping Pong Champion, Now she has the trophy in her mantle to look at for the next year. Well done!

OK, now I have to get ready to run a few errands. It is never ending.....I don't have much gas in the car, maybe I can borrow the cul de sac kid's scooter...

By the way, I am starting Weight Watchers today. There is no need to wait until January 2 or 3 or 4 or 21st...

Enjoy the day!

The Dreaded Kringle Virus

Christmas Eve! And I am getting over the remnants of the 24 hour Kringle stomach virus that I picked up when I was not looking....What is the Kringle  virus....welllllll......Consider this story....



After posting yesterday's blog, I stood up from the sofa and started to dry heave as if I was going to vomit. Was my post that bad? Nah.....maybe it was the egg whites that I had for breakfast? I wasn't sure but I had to run....literally and finish the errands.....



So, I grabbed an empty plastic Macy's bag, put on my sweats, and pointed the car east to Dr G's house. After dropping off gifts and picking up a frozen turkey to roast for tomorrow's dinner (Memo: Turkey is an ice cube. It will not defrost in time. Go to back up Plan B and have a holiday ham), I pointed the car north to put gas in it. All I had in my pocket was enough money for the trophies (oh yeah, another story) and a gift for dad. So, I put $10.00 of gas into the tank so that I could get to my next destination to finish a project that was needed for tomorrow.



What was that project? Well, every Christmas, I make a holiday calendar for family members with photos of the previous year. It takes about 5 hours to craft, print, and bind (about the time that it took me to get through the Hollister line on Saturday). The binding machine is at work, so off I go to work to finish the calendars. Guess what? I needed my Macy's plastic bag at that point. It was a good call that I brought it.



As I finished gagging and binding the calendars, a friend walked in and shared that people are dropping from this stomach virus....nice...



Ok, I have the Macy's bag, grab the calendars and point the car south. I have enough gas in my tank and stomach to make it to Delaware. Sadly, the traffic was outrageous and I was going to finish these errands by Christmas 2014.



Once I arrived in the little state of Delaware, I drove passed the biggest liquor store and caved in....I turned right and could barely find a parking spot. With my trusty, disgusting Macy's bag, I found a case of beer for dad and yule tide cheer for me.....some day, I will crack it and drink it. I doubt if it will be soon....


Turning the car west, I finally got to Mr Trophy and picked up the trophies. I know that I did not explain how I was able to score these trophies yesterday, but let's once again call it a Christmas miracle. Yes, Lil A, there is a Santa Claus.....



As I counted my change since I was out of cash, the lady wished me a happy holiday and I turned the car north toward my home....but first, I stopped at the spa...the eye brows needed some work and if I died of this virus, the eyebrows would look decent.

Finally....homeward bound...beer...wine...trophies....plastic Macy's bag....frozen solid turkey....bound calendar....fumes of gas left in the gas tank and finally home. Diva and I went right to bed and passed out.

And so you have it.....the day before the night before Christmas....and all through the house....no one was moving except to vomit into the trash can.....Merry Christmas to all.....

I need trophies!

Countdown....2 days left...Actually, today is the last day to shop for me. I have minor issues which I cannot believe. Then I heard that everyone is rushed BECAUSE we had 6 less days to prepare with the late Thanksgiving! I thought so.....honestly, it seems like Thanksgiving was last week. Oh, wait...it was...

Ok, so, what is left? Well, I am going to walk on the edge and make another cheesecake for Christmas dinner. I will not pick up my fork to eat it out of the baking pan. Also, my little friend who lives next door is home from Australia. This is a long story, but her dad was transferred there for three years. They kept the house and moved. Yesterday, I found them in the supermarket. In between her gymnastics work out, she is going to stop by to make cookies. She loves hanging out in the kitchen with me and Diva. We make cookies, cupcakes, and eat the frosting. She is one of my besties AND she is 7 years old. Am I regressing? Nah, Lil P is a very cool kid. She started life after he momma  gave birth at mile 7 of the Garden State Parkway in Jersey. Yep, she never made it to the hospital, so Lil P has been blazing her own trail for 7 years. I could not be happier that she is home.



However, before the Lil P baking fest, I have to drive to Delaware and pick up the trophies for the annual holiday family ping pong tournament at Dr. G's. Keep in mind that his table is located in the living room. Lil A called me yesterday to ask about the brackets. Sadly, I had to tell her that I did not have the trophies. Sweetly, she said that she would make them out of clay. Then I felt really really bad. I let the kid down, so, some way, some how, I have to come up with ping pong trophies even if I have to take the big kid's baseball trophies from the basement and place masking tape on them marking them with 2013 holiday tournament classic.



There is a trophy store in Delaware that makes the holiday classic trophies. I have been up since 5 am waiting to call them on the phone and beg them to rush 2 ping pong trophies for me. The store does not open until 9:30 a (even over the holidays). What do you think? Will the manager take pity on me? Should I show him a photo of Lil A with and without the trophies? Am I nutso? Don't answer that last question.

 

By the way, the trophy store is near the biggest liquor store this side of Philly. No tax....big selection. Guess what? I am not going there. Trophies only. No booze. I can live without the boxed wine but can't live with a disappointed little kid. Ok, enough random thoughts. I have to point the car south and beg Trophy Man to slap the plastic labels on a couple of cheap trophies for Lil A. I will succeed.

Hmmmm....anything else? Well, let's see....I saw the big leftie for 10 minutes last night while watching the Eagles Bears game. He looked well and smelled fresh after his shower. Tired, he said that it was his job to scrape the junk off the stairs and clean them. Nice job. He liked it. No one bothered him and he sat while he scraped the crusted food off each step. Law school looks pretty darn good, eh?

In our ten minute conversations, we have had some head scratching moments. He asserts that all famous and successful people have big heads. Is this a prerequisite for success? I don't have a particularly big head, but he inherited his big head from his dad. So, maybe his contention is accurate. Look around....I think Mandela had a big head...so did Reagan....Jay Leno definitely has a big head....Jimmy Kimmel's looks pretty big too. The big headed kid may be on to something....



Tink has been working every day at the supermarket  and is now behind the service counter. She has been trained to process returned items and can sell cigarettes if a person shows their ID. I think that this could be a promotion? Maybe.....


Time to run south....take it easy!

Imploding

Good Saturday morning! I feel like I am in a race competing against no person but a time clock. At first, I was totally stressed, but now I see it as a challenge to overcome.

I made several executive decisions:
1. No Christmas cards this year. Anyone who I want to send greetings to will hear from me on facebook or text (yeah, not great, but the best that I can do)
2. No major culinary feasts. We will have basic 'taters n meat.....fresh veggie or salad. Buddy can grab dessert from the bakery.
3. Slow down and remember what we are preparing for....that's right...it's not about a new iPad or wireless electronics



That's it. I made these decisions when I volunteered at the Food Cupboard on Thursday for a few hours. The number of poor clients is at an all time high and there are too many hungry people in our world. Actually, they may be hungrier as I spilled a 50 pound bag of rice and broke the broom while sweeping it off the floor. Numbskull! Guess what I am buying the FC for Christmas? That's right...more rice! Actually, the faces of the volunteers when the rice scattered all over the floor was worth the price of admission. After I got over being mortified, I knelt to sweep the rice, and thought carefully what the heck I was doing. After all, what am I worried about? Really, let's consider this entity....I am worried that I will not have cookies made (ate them all this week while running to Macys), having enough gifts (is that what it is all about? More stuff), cooking elaborate meals....really? Everyone gets sick from too much food on Christmas. I am doing them a favor by tailoring back a bit.

On to more festive notes....I realized yesterday that my big boy is definitely mine and he was not switched in the nursery at birth. While getting ready to go out yesterday, we were chatting and I could hear his computer blasting his music. Listening for a moment, I heard Christmas songs. Huh? Christmas music on my son's laptop...really? This big ole country music lovin' baseball player is listening to holiday music. Stunned, I smiled and hugged him! "You are my boy!" Smiling back, he said: "Yeah, how about Billy Squier's song?" Yes! How about it! I love that song! Me too!!!
This was another Christmas miracle.....I am not the only one in the house who loves the holiday and music.

My biggest problem had been the number of courses that I taught this fall. In total, I have taught 18 credits which is 6 over the allotment, one 90 miles from the house, and another  four day clinical. This way, I can be free to travel in the spring. So, when he comes to me and tells me that his elbow is bothering him, then, I want to just implode. I am confident that working out each day for 4 hours is too much. But he cannot stop. Is he an exercise addict? He had one of the pitchers from the team over this week as they threw the weighted balls in the basement then long tossed. Yesterday, he worked out with a Texas friend. Each day when he finishes his work out, he runs to the bakery and gets home after midnight.

In total, since he got home on Wednesday, I have seen him a total of 25 minutes as he passes me in the hall to take a shower or go to bed. Is this all worth it? Well, the proof is in the pudding as they say (although I do not know why). This is his red shirt junior year which makes him eligible for the draft. Oye! Please God, let him be drafted this year....please oh please.....

With that said, I have to continue the preparations for the big day. I shopped on Friday and yesterday. The only line that I encountered was in Hollister with their 50% off sale. I did see a long line at the Banana Republic, but did not see anything that I wanted to buy. Otherwise, there were no more people than usual at the mall and Kohls. Is that because Kohls is open 24 hours until Christmas? People can run and finish their shopping at 2 am should they desire.



I am still scratching my head about all the commercialism, but have tried to purchase gifts that are meaningful rather than expensive. But even stocking stuffers are pricey as I paid top dollar on lip balm, Snickers bars, and pens.

Ok, I have to run....or actually dance as I head to Zumba. My emotional eating continues as I finished the cheesecake yesterday. Quick, someone tape my mouth shut....Pronto!

Peace!

Count down to the big day

Good morning! It's now 5 days before Santa comes and I still have not shopped. This is bad...really bad....although I know that gifts are not the reason for the season. In fact, there really should be no gifts. After all, Jesus was born in a manger, not a Ritz Carlton. But.....I don't want to disappoint, soooooooo...

I had 90 minutes to drive to Delaware to hit Macy's sale. I figured that I could out elbow the rest of the shoppers looking for the right size for the big kid.....With all the nervous energy, I completely forgot that the cookie fest cookies were in the front seat of the car as I sat at a stop light. Opening the Rubbermaid container, I figured, I would eat one pizzelle...or two...or three....I had to stop when I finished 15 in less than 5 minutes and thought that I would vomit sprinkles and chocolate chips. The emotional eating is something I need a therapist to help me to figure out. On the positive side, I have not nor will not eat another cookie this season. Done...finito...disgusted with myself and lack of will power. Who does that?

Anyway, as I found a parking space, I felt that the shopping fairies were with me as I worked my way toward the racks with my coupons in my hand. There was so much inventory, I had a hard time sifting through it. After my allotted 90 minutes, I was no closer to finishing the shopping than I was in February. Yep, an abysmal failure.....

Now, there are two things that I can do. The first is to roll up in a sweaty ball on the sofa, drown my sorrows in cheap boxed wine, and turn on country music,  and listen to love gone wrong or someone stole someone's truck. Or, I can get tough....and create a plan of action. Who needs what? Sizes? Shapes? Am I cooking? What do I need? Do I have enough butter?

Next, I will create a grid with the stores and their locations. I have the departments firmly ensconced in my mind and create a map. It will be like searching for treasure. I will be Captain Hook with his trusty map looking for the treasure chest, except the treasure is not gold bullion but Nike socks, hand warmers, pajamas, CDs, jeans, sweaters, and perhaps a treat or ten.

I know that this can work because I have the mall set ups in my mind as if I lived there. The last place on the map is the biggest liquor store in Delaware. 'Cause, let me tell ya....if I get all of this shopping done with presents wrapped and ready, dinners made, and cookies baked by December 24th, you will find me passed out under the tree with an empty box of wine and the dog licking my ear trying to wake me.

With that said, I got to get back to work. Tonight is my last class for 2 weeks and I am ready to par-tee! Ok, not par-tee...plan...shop...wrap....find the roll of tape.....try to open the roll of tape when the end is stuck on the rest of the roll and I can't find the edge...then  I get frustrated and throw it across the room as I hit a piece of heirloom crystal , break it in a thousand pieces, and walk immediately to the liquor cabinet. Who cares if it is 9 am or 9 pm? It is 5 o'clock somewhere.....