And so, this is the first chance I had to post since Dr G and I spent the morning with elementary school kids teaching them about the facts of life. Believe me, I had several layers of deodorant on before I walked into the building.
Dressed appropriately in black and white with a blazer on, I was prepared to meet my match. One girl and one boy were appointed as our escorts and met us at the door.
They took our bags and we walked up the three flights of steps...
One we arrived at our room, I met my group of girls. There were 20+ in their school uniforms, smiling, and waiting for me. Breathing heavily, I worked with the science teacher (who obviously punted this important project to me) to upload my PowerPoint presentation. Naturally, the girls got the presentation running and I took another deep breath, smiled, introduce myself and pretended that I was happy to be there.
Cuties....every one of them. Some were younger than others. I was able to break down the social pecking order within 90 seconds.
The cool girls sat in the back. The nerdy girls were in the corner. The immature girls were up front. And the quiet girls sat in the center.
It's go time....Fade to black....
I knew that I had to speak in simple ways and use professional terminology. So, slang was out.
I spoke about Fallopian tubes, ovaries, body changes, odor, facial eruptions (otherwise known as pimples), and menstruation. One of the girls told the class that a period is not about blood. It is fluid that leaves the body.
Hmmm...perplexing. Yes, it is liquid. Yes, it is fluid. No, it is blood. Who told her that it was not blood? Her mother? Guardian? Dad? Big brother? Little sister? It was then up to me to share that it was indeed blood, in which she turned a whiter shade of pale.
This comment was somewhat alarming. Since some of the girls had had the talk or knew more than they were letting on, I had met my match.... Of course as time moved on, they were more comfortable in sharing old wives tales, urban legends, and fallacies about becoming a woman. Yep, this was one of my more fun moments.
As we moved along, I knew I had to add the Catholic approach and discuss marital act, family, and self respect. Again, they were silent.
The roar of the crowd came with the menstruation animation that I explained and pointed to. Girls screamed "eek!", their heads went down, some prayed, and others (the nerdy ones) held hands.
Just a note...I have always identified with the nerds. A friend told me I was her nerdiest friend. A compliment? I think so....
Back to our "talk". After they learned about the egg release and menstruation, it was time, yes time...to show a video about fertilization.....then it went downhill from there.....
Here is the set up....the video begins with the sperm moving toward an egg.....that is it.....sperm.....egg...nothing else.
One of the immature girls yells out..."We are watching sex!"
That's when I went a whiter shade of pale.....
I stop the video. This is not intercourse, ladies. This is sperm and the egg. No sex...no intercourse...two cells....that's it. No bodies involved in this video. It is not pornography....which, by the way, is wrong....just sayin.......
Sheesh!
As the sperm fertilized the egg, it began to divide. After 7 minutes of division, we had a baby with eyes, ears, hands, and sexual organs. The baby played with the placenta in utero. It was beautiful. I knew right then that I wanted that kid. Sadly, this topic is for the next lecture entitled from menstruation to menopause.....By the way, I stopped the video before the baby went down the birth canal. Why? That image is for high school.....a judgment call on my part.
Back to the kids....five needed a drink of water and left the room. Others began asking questions....such as "what does it mean to come?"
What do you mean...come? Come here? Come with me to the park. Come on? Do you mean....? Ugh!
"Well Professor," she said. "Girls don't come. Only boys."
Crud! Double crud! Triple crud!
Now we are talking about the actual act.....
That's when I knew that the "talk" was now a discussion.....knowing that I could not go there as Sister would rate the class "X", I gave a quick non specific answer and asked if there were any more questions about coming or going, they had to speak with their mothers. Quick thinking on my part, don't you agree?
Finally. Silence.....
This was my cue.
"Well, ladies. It has certainly been a pleasure chatting with you today. And when you speak of our talk, and I know you will, use proper terminology and be respectful. After all, God made each of us in His image and likeness."
The door opened and the science teacher entered.
I ran out of there so fast, I created a wind that blew the kids' hair back. Grabbing Dr. G, we headed to the car, turned the engine on, and raced down the streets of Philadelphia.
Done...done...done....
I have not heard from Sister about the talk and have been too cowardly to ask her how it went. I figure no news is good news....
Happy Easter!
Peace!
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