Greetings and Happy New Year! I have a resolution to start writing again since this blog has been derailed. What stopped me from writing each day? Well.....
Fade to black.....
First, I do not like giving excuses for behavior. In fact, I own my behavior or lack of behavior. This means that I had no desire to write, post, share anything that I once did with joy. Am I depressed? Uh...no....uh....yes....uh...not really....
Here's what happened.....BP Grandmom was sick...really sick... really really sick and I wanted to be there to help her in any way that I could. So I became a mini caregiver and drove her to appointments, sat with her, took her to chemo, shopping, and penny slots. Yes, she loved her penny slots and was a good gambler. Me? Not lucky...now or ever....
Back to BP Grandmom....she started to get worse and was in pain. As she was undergoing treatment, Big Sis was also diagnosed with ovarian cancer. Huh? Yeah! How about it. This threw a major wrench in the smooth system I created. In fact, things got so bad that Big Sis and BP Grandmom were on the same floor in the hospital at the same time....just feet apart from each other...Oh, it gets better....BP Grandpop was admitted to another hospital about 40 minutes from the ladies at the same time. Having fun?
Not yet....
So, the goal was to make sure mom and Big Sis had the right treatment while Pop was getting the correct care. Fun yet?
Nope....
Then Big Sis got sick after her surgery....real sick....It was bad. Mom was to be released from the hospital and so was Pop on the same day. But mom did not want to go home. She needed additional nursing care and told Scoob, Tink and me that she desired to go to an assisted living facility when she was better and we were to sell the house.
There was just one big problem with this plan...he is about 5'5" tall, Italian, and oh-so stubborn. So we were tasked to make sure there was an assisted living facility that would take them, convince pop it was needed, and sell the house. Simple?
I'll continue....
So, Pop and Grandmom were to be released but not go home. Instead I politely requested that the social workers in both hospitals find a skilled nursing facility where they could be in the same room or at least next to each other. Pop's hospital was more than happy to comply...Grandmom's social worker turned into a petulant child when I changed plans. Fun?
I convinced the social worker to move forward with our request while smiling brightly. After all, you attract more bees with honey, right? After a few failed attempts, Dr G made it happen with a call to a colleague. He should pick up the phone more often, ya know.....
Then it was time to move them to skilled nursing. They were in rooms next to each other and ate meals and watched television together. Pop began to flourish, but mom did not. She was becoming somnolent and did not want to eat. We tried everything from her favorite ice cream and soda to meals that were simple yet tasty. Nope. She did not want to or could not eat. The nurses did their best, then she was put on something to stimulate her appetite. Nope....
It was the fourth of July and family usually gathered at Dr G's for a barbecue. Mom could not go. Pop could. I sat with mom most of the afternoon realizing it was her last July 4th. Sadness overtook me and I sat there, held her hand, and cried. I was under the impression that no one saw my tears. I willed them to be invisible, but my heart was broken and I held on as long as I could.
During their rehab stint, I found a nice assisted living facility and showed it to pop. He was cool with it as long as mom needed it, then his plan was that they were going home.
As the day for transfer approached, I got a call from the doctor asking me if it was OK to place mom in hospice. I knew it was coming and said yes. First I consulted Dr G and sadly he agreed with the decision.
Hospice set up a bed and mom's new room for comfort. The sibs and I moved furniture and photos, and clothes from home to create a homey place for them. It came time for the move and mom could not physically move. We somehow got her to the apartment when the hospice nurse arrived. Her pain was so great, they immediately transferred her to inpatient hospice for pain management.
She passed away surrounded by family the next morning. Before she passed, she was able to see Big Sis one last time and that Pop was safely placed in assisted living. Her earthly work was done. It was time for her to work her magic in heaven as she watches over us now.
That's it for now...I'll be back....I promise.
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