That's ONE!

It's raining and flooding this morning. Another great day to be a duck or perhaps an alligator....definitely a fish. After yesterday's post, I thought that I would have great news about the car, but sadly.....yes....life support has been withdrawn. All that is going to be left of the car will be the parts. That's it...time to say good bye to something that lasted longer than some marriages...the car that has been my companion for 11 years. I will bravely play taps as it is taken to the great car heaven in the sky. As Bob Hope would sing: "Thanks for the memories...."

A bit maudlin, I know. But....the car has been so faithful, that I have to give it my gratitude as our time together ends.

On to other things....I have been meaning to blog about the recent steroid controversy to hit the major leagues and share what my perspective is.....here we go....

OK, by using performance enhancement drugs, these guys cheated. Yes, cheated...cheaters....prevaricators...liars....sneaks....they cut the long line to the majors by taking these drugs...then lying.....lying again and again and again. How does the MLB reward them? Well, they give them so much money that their debit cards will never be rejected again. Their weekly pay checks are greater than the the annual budgets in third world countries. They have more money to burn in their backyards than Bill Clinton.





Does cheating bother me? Uh- yeah! Back to my tennis days....sorry....but it applies here....no...no one in college took steroids or anything like that. BUT I was accused of cheating. Yes...I was called the Big "C"...a cheater. Here's the story......fade to a dream....I was playing a Friday match with my good friend Muscles....we were down 0-5...then my opponent hit the ball by my foot and it was clearly out. Since I called it 'out', it was our point. The woman on the other side of the net went nuts....."that's ONE!", she screamed at me. Huh? I was standing right here...the ball was out. Get over it.....after a few minutes, she hit another ball clearly out. I once again....called it 'out'. Going absolutely ballistic....she screamed: "Thats TWO!" and dropped her racquet. Was she going to fight me over a line call? Did I cheat? The answer to those questions are 'yes' and 'no'.  I said to her: "If I am such a great cheater...why are we losing 0-5? Obviously, I am lousy at cheating...." She continued to rant at me. This is actually the closest I ever got to being in a girl fight. Not that I was going to take a swing, but I felt that she was and I was going to have to protect myself using some of the moves that I learned growing up with 5 siblings.

Then Muscles who is 6 inches shorter than I am got angry. I'll never forget it when she said to the crazy woman: "YOU are belligerent. DO you know what belligerent means? It means 'war-like'. Well, this woman went nutso and started to scream at us. This time, I dropped my racquet and said to Muscles: "I'm out of here. She's more than belligerent, she needs some Vitamin P (i.e. prozac) and a net thrown over her head. As I collected my stuff, her partner calmed the situation and we started to play again. However, crazy girl began to hit every  ball with gusto at my head any chance that she got.

I  ducked rather than be hit in the face then I adjusted and was happy that she wanted to hit me, because I started to hit them back at her. I did not have to run or even move my racquet because she continued to hit the balls right at my left temple. I held the racquet in front of my face as the balls deflected for winners for the rest of the match. We started to gain momentum but ended the game with a loss. But while crazy lady continued her meltdown, we were able to win a few games for a respectable loss.

What did I learn from being called a cheater? Well, I did not like it at all. But looking back on it, I realize that if I needed to be in a foxhole, Muscles should be my wing man/girl. After all, this tiny bit of woman was ready to jump over the net and defend my honor....now, that's a friend. I also learned not to back down when I know that I am right, just because I am being bullied by a person who should be in a padded room or resting at some sanitarium in the mountains with guards to keep her from leaving the premises.

And what does this have to do with the MLB scandal? Hmmm...nothing really....I remembered the story and that's about it. All I can say is that these players cheated and took the place of a guy who did not and deserved to have that position. Enough said...time for me to get some work done.



Have a great day!

Trash or treasure

Good morning....the rain has temporarily stopped. How crazy has the weather been in the northeast? Personally, I am ready to dry out. As my friend left work yesterday in a deluge, a bolt of lightening struck a tree across the courtyard. Panicked, she ran back into the office and said that she was soaked and would have to check when she got home whether her underwear was also wet. I told her that her undies were indeed probably wet, but not from the rain.....She wasn't pleased with me.....

And so, as I remained at work and refused to leave until the thunderstorm was in another county, I received a phone call from the big kid.....

"Mom...uh...when you were at the house on Saturday, did you think that the outside was a mess?"

hmmm....Let's see....trash strewn around after the mega-party for 200 of their closest friends plus anyone who wandered away from the bus terminal.....red solo cups broken and squashed on the porch....trash cans overflowing with trash.....

"Not really....Why?"

"Wellll...."

Apparently, the police drove by and reported the messy house.

The landlord proceeded to email the guys and told them to clean up or get out. OK, am I going to lose my housing deposit one week into the semester? Is this a joke?

Interesting...that was fast...they are not even in school one week and they are facing eviction. Aren't I a proud mom or what?

As I asked him what he was going to do about it....his response was: "I didn't see any trash...."

Yep....gang...this is where I have gone wrong as a parent....I did not teach him the difference between trash and treasure. Trash is something that you do not want to keep such as a Snickers bar wrapper or empty and used red solo cup. Treasure is the actual Snickers bar and an unused cup. Sheesh...these guys are in college. Do I have to place this information on a PowerPoint slide? Should I send them a webinar on the topic?

Oh my, they would not listen to me anyway....they see my face and their eyes glaze over....so be it...the landlord is now their faux-mom. She can berate the guys and give them a time out for not throwing out their trash. She can take away the keys to the car or not allow them to have their dessert tonight. Perhaps she can give them demerits. Anyway you look at it, they have to shape up and clean up.

Let's see....After a big party.........here is what you do:

begin with a big garbage bag+bend+pick up cups+toss into bag+bag on street for trash pick up....how is that for an equation?

Maybe I can give them a recipe that they can understand:

1-large black Hefty bag
1- Hefty bag tie
4-Party giving and going college juniors
1,000-pieces of trash

Open the bag. Bend the legs. Pick up the trash. Drop into the Hefty bag. When all trash has been picked up from the lawn and porch and you can see the green grass rather than a carpet of red cups, use the twist tie and seal the bag. Take bag to curb. Go wash your hands.....

That's it....simple....and it does not require batteries.....

Enjoy the day!

By the way, someone stole the star that I got for free from the wall.....it's missing....gone....kind of like an expensive painting in the Louvre....now a work of art in someone else's home....