The Beginning of the Beginning

I'm back.....I know that it has been a few days since posting, but my two classes end this week which means that I am grading, grading, and grading some more....papers...papers...papers...presentations.....case studies....sheesh....a girl has to work for a living, right? Otherwise, I could not afford the plethora of Girl Scout cookies sold me. Can't ever say no to a Girl Scout....it's a personal code that I develop during the years when I was a scout.....



How are things in the BPM stratosphere? Well, besides spending an enormous amount of time reading term papers and dreaming of warm weather, palm trees, and little alcoholic beverages with umbrellas in them, not much.



Although, something that has never happened to me as a parent has occurred. In fact, it has me bugged beyond belief.....

The baseball team usually has a Kick off the season banquet with speeches, guest speakers, and team introductions. I have never, ever missed one....ever...and yet...there is a first time for everything. The announcement came on Monday that the banquet (with rubber chicken and frozen cheesecake for dessert) will be held at the end of the month. Sadly, dad and I will be out of town and cannot change our plans. So I am going to miss it.



Why does this bother me? This is an easy answer. This bothers me because I have never missed anything pertaining to the kids' sports, activities, and education. I have attended every concert, science and history fairs, book fairs, games, bingo nights, plays, community activities, and so on. I have been the home room mother many times. Further, my car was always available to take the kids on class trips, Girl Scout events, camping (ew), Broadway shows, nature trips, and camps. Am I a control freak? Nope, just an involved parent. And now that my little boy's academic baseball career is ending, I cannot be present for this momentous event.

OK, maybe this is momentous in my own mind, but I am truly distressed that I will not be there to witness and absorb the end of a lifetime of work. Dad thinks that I am nuts and perhaps he is right. But in my fractured mind, I have attended the first and last of everything and everything else in the middle, and this banquet is it. Final. Finite. Over. Done. No more school baseball banquets. This is it. No more.



Who is more upset about it?

 Me, of course. I want to be there at the end even if it does not mean anything to the guys. It means a great deal to me since it is the beginning of the end. Or, is it the beginning of the beginning?

Huh?

Let me explain.....

The kid will graduate this spring. Let me repeat this fact: He will graduate. Yes, he will graduate with a college degree in journalism and a minor in business. He has managed to keep his grades up despite the travel and distractions of baseball. Although, he remains on the Board of Shame in the locker room (anyone under a grade point average of 3.0 is there. Yes, it is a violation of federal law, but we can use this for our purposes if things do not go well this semester with the Czar).

As a senior, this is it for traveling with his college team. No more. In a way, it is sad. I won't be traveling to campus every week to sit in sub zero temperatures watching my son sit in the bullpen spitting seeds and waiting for the chance to throw the ball. With all the hard work, he is now a weekend starter. This means that he is scheduled and not a last minute thought or arm.

If he does well (and he will), he will come under the attention and scrutiny of a major league scout. If all continues to go well, he will be drafted by a team. Then this will be the beginning of something else even more terrifying. He will be in the minor leagues and we will start another blog, "minor league mom".



Therefore, this season is now crowned, the 'beginning of the beginning....."

Just a quick story...yesterday, he threw a bullpen and pitched well. The pitching and batting coaches were complimentary (quick, get me some smelling salts, I am going to faint). However, the pitching coach took him aside and told him that he knew that he was doing extra work. The kid just nodded but did not add to the comment. Psycho looked at him and said: "Be discrete. Do not overdo it." Hmmm........perhaps Psycho was driving by the pizza shop late one night and saw a familiar figure throwing his weighted balls at the wall. Or was he in line as TSA took the weighted balls, construed as weapons, off the plane. Either way, he was offered a bit of respect that he should remember as he is screamed at after he throws a home run ball during the first scrimmage.

By the way, I want to thank my children for making me a mom and giving me the opportunity to experience things that have been so special in their lives that they have enhanced the quality of my life. Nothing that I have done professionally or personally has been more inspiring than watching my own children grow from little children to young adults. It has been a privilege. Whatever happens, they are my treasures....

Gotta run....papers await.....

Peace!

Mind, body, and spirit part 2

Good morning! It's a cold, January day in the northeast and the puppies seem to love the snow. In fact, they stop to eat and lick it. While Diva would not squat in snow, the puppies love it and roll around playing in it. They are pretty funny. Although, at 7 months of age, shouldn't they be housebroken? I think so. Therefore, we are calling in General Patton. He or she is going to come to the house and help us to get over the hump of using the backyard as the outhouse. I am not sure who I am going to call, but he or she is coming...very soon....very very soon...

How is the big lefty? Hmmm....school starts this week. I am glad that he left early to bond with his friends. Actually, the pitching coach asked the guys to return early for work outs. Interestingly, the stoned captain opted for snowboarding instead of returning to lead his flock. This puzzles me since snowboarding and skiing can be considered dangerous for athletes. if they fall or hit a tree, their season can be over before it begins. Yet, the fearless leader has his own agenda. No worries. The big guy does not need the distraction of having to call the guys together and leading in a formal way.

He is actually an informal leader. Many of the kids look up to him and his work ethic. Some are actually afraid of him.  He is at the field early, late, and when he does not have to be. The coaches walk in and find him working out. Several times they have almost discovered his banned equipment, but he manages to hide it or explain his way out of a jam. For the life of me, I wish that they would read the evidence that suggests better arm care will cause the arm to last longer through the season. For example, last season when the guys arms were going down, his was getting stronger as the season progressed. Of course, the pizza shop wall will never be the same, but I admire this guy. He has a goal and will not stop until he achieves it. He is my role model.


He can turn down a beer and a piece of cake without blinking. He is also working out to work on flexibility and endurance. He is in tuned with his body and is now working on his mind and spirit.

We had a conversation about all three as he works on his mental game. While working with the sports psychologist, he is also praying more and mediating. My last suggestion to him is to modulate his emotions. He is either incredibly high or woefully low. There has to be a middle ground. Therefore, this is the last piece of the mental puzzle to accept victory and defeat as the same and not be so elated or despondent that he is unable to think about his next move. By flattening the emotions, he will have succeeded in controlling them. This will be helpful when he is in a jam, not in a jam, on television, or just preparing for the next game. Control in all areas. This is what he seeks and I know that he will accomplish this one.



As far as I am concerned, I will continue to prepare for the season. I have my lucky sneakers already...found in Boscovs....good price.....fits well.....comfie....and still in the box. They are ready for Valentines weekend when he starts in North Carolina. Until then, I will buy my Kashi bars, sunflower seeds, Skittles, and case of bottled water for the back of the car. I now have driving glasses (yeah, I am old) which are in the front of the car. I will have the oil changed and car checked out to make sure that it is ready for travel.

I am also getting caught up at work and will disappear from campus in a few weeks. Honestly, being on the road is something that I enjoy. Although the best part of the journey is when I return home.

Now it is time to grade papers. My two classes end this week and I have a mountain of papers to grade and grade and grade.....

Peace!

Baseball forecast 2015

Good morning! I sit in my chair typing with a mixture of emotions as the big guy packs the car to return to college. Yep, it is time and now the wait begins.....

He is going back a week early to work with his catcher before school begins. He has his own designated catcher since the other newbies cannot catch his pitches. This is a good thing. So the pitcher and catcher bond over a few throws and beers. All is good with the world...today....Tomorrow...who knows.

Here is what I anticipate: we are going to go from very highs to extreme lows which sounds like a weather forecast. That's right. The next 6 months will be like the forecast...unpredictable.



he is going to win some...going to lose some....going to be pulled out...going to be anxious....going to be praised...going to be blasted.....oh yeah....fun stuff.


At happy hour the other night, I made it a point to tell him not to read the newspapers or watch television during the season. He should not allow pundits or mock reporters to determine how he feels about himself.
"I don't care what anyone thinks...." uh huh....right...



I also asked him what happens if the season is horrible and he is not drafted. Then what?
"I will have done everything possible to make it. There is nothing more that I can do." This is true....

He has.....

• worked out for hours on end until exhaustion hit
• thrown the ball in the middle of the night against the pizza shop
• put the car lights onto the baseball field as he threw in the middle of the night
• been almost arrested for trespassing on a baseball field twice to throw
• lived in Texas and worked with the Pitching doctor for a summer
• taken lessons and advice from Coach T (who is no longer in baseball, but working for his dad's company. In other words, he did not make it despite being in the minor leagues for ten years).
• gone to chiropractors
• acupuncturist
• sports psychologist
• studied the game
• studied his films ad nausea-um
• worried
• panicked
• threw
• worked out with his pals around the country
• gave up parties and fun to work out and sleep
•  lived in Ohio and Illinois for summers rather than staying home and getting a job
• had shoulder surgery and rehabbed for a year
• was told by a shoulder specialist that he would never pitch again and if he did would not make the major leagues (to which he said %#** to the guy in front of his parents and the doctor's assistants).
• scrubbed and cleaned trash cans at the bakery
• juggled full time baseball and full time school
• arrived back to campus at 3 am on Monday mornings after leaving Thursday afternoon with an 8 am class
• spent hours on a bus traveling around the country
• been dissed, humiliated, sent home, and told that he was damaged goods
• told that he would do the world a favor if he took a piece of glass and slit his wrist and died.....

OK, this is just some of the stuff that has happened in a nut shell.



We saw a couple last night whose son went to elementary school with the big kid. They shared that one of the classmates was a football stud as he was playing at a local D 2 school (not that there is anything wrong with it. It is nice that he is still playing sports. Basically, a nice kid). They had no idea that he was playing D 1 because (once again) no one talks about it. We don't publicize it and keep it to ourselves.   They went on and on about football boy and we kept our mouths shut. Happy new Year!

Happy new year, indeed...This goes to prove my theory. When a person does something, he or she should keep their heads down and mouth shut, because it is all about the game and process and not about accolades. Most of the grade school studs are now losing their hair and have beer guts. Keeping up with their sports required effort and they were not willing to forgo the fun that high school and college had to offer. But my kid sacrificed.




I smiled and wished them the best.....and now after hugging my boy good bye, I wish him the best too....the best that life has to offer....the ability to take victory and defeat as part of life....keep your head down....mouth shut....and throw the dang ball!

Peace!

Mind, body, spirit

Happy New Year! We made it south and back with the dogs and my mind remains intact. In fact, the dogs handled the trip better than the big kid. Why? Well......

The dogs had their own crate and had to be placed under our seats. They fit and were perfectly behaved. On the other hand, the big lefty....not so much.

He took his beloved weighted balls, some sort of apparatus that he uses to strengthen something or other in his arm, his wrist weights, cleats, and glove in his backpack and sent it through the security scanner. When.....the security officer decided that his equipment were weapons and had to be checked as baggage or confiscated. I have seen the big guy get angry but this one was truly spectacular. And he was not going to win the battle against the TSA.



The officer was aghast at the contents of the backpack and gathered the contraband to send it to be checked. The big lefty, not liking the circumstances, decided to challenge the TSA officer...not a battle that he would win and had to walk to the check in desk and give up his beloved equipment. When I  told the TSA officer that he has flown all over the country without anyone taking his equipment, he asked for the names of the cities so that they could be reported. After all, he was keeping our nation safe.



Sheesh....isn't there an old lady that he could harass?  This seemed superfluous, but rest assured, the country is safer now that the contents of the back pack have been checked with the rest of the baggage.

Oh yeah, I was dissed yesterday too. This happened when we were collecting our bags upon arrival. The woman who worked for the airlines got in front of me as I tried to grab my bags. As bags labeled 'priority' dropped onto the conveyor belt, she pushed me aside and said that the 'priority' bags were for first class passengers.



Uh, lady....I am first class.....OK, technically I was upgraded because I just hit Delta Airlines Silver Medallion with the number of miles that I flew this year, but really....I was actually profiled by the airlines as someone who would not be first class.  Ahh, no biggie....I was not first class until I was upgraded at the last minute. Although, she was very surprised when I grabbed the 'priority' bags. Next time, I will wear my pearls and leather coat....



How is everything going with the big lefty? Hmmm....Ok, let's see....good and not so good.

While we were away, he went from sunny to cloudy in a matter of minutes one day. He was preoccupied and distant. What's up, dude? Nothing.

Ok, I have known this guy since he was an embryo, so I know that something was wrong but he was not talking. So I stopped asking.

However, today, I decided that I was going to take the bull to happy hour and have a long conversation with him. Why happy hour? Well, it is away from the house. He eats at a discounted price. I drink at a discounted price. It is a win win situation.

While sitting at the bar, he confided that the pitching coach, Psycho texted him last week and said: "The season rests with you. If you are on, we do well. If not, we don't."


Upon reflection of the text, he was fine with the challenge. However, I could see how it could ruffle his feathers.

YET....

This is it. This is the moment that he has waited for all his life. In other words, he is the man. That's right. He is their number one guy and they are counting on him.

Anxious? Yes.

Stressful? Yep.

Wanted? You bet.


This is it. This is senior year in high school again. he had to prove himself over and over and finally did. We chatted about a number of things....for example, his first big win last year. We both agreed that the Czar put him on the mound for him to blow up and lose. The Czar wanted the world to know that he was right. But he was proven wrong.

The next step was a week night game in Ohio. Again, the Czar looked for him to lose in a big way, but he again showed him what he had.

As the season continued, the lefty proved everyone was wrong. He had actually moved up from being last on the pitching roster to first. He also did it when all of his pitches were not working. Again, the Czar was not pleased.

At the final meeting at the end of last year, the big guy told the Czar that he could do more for the team if given the chance. The Czar remained unconvinced. Although, anyone watching the games knew that this guy had something good.....so, he waited....and now, he is in the driver's seat.

So, we chatted about how he was going to handle his stress and anxiety during the season. I want him to be proactive and develop tools that  will prevent him from getting flustered. He has a plan to meet with the sports psychologist once a week. Then I mentioned the most important thing....a life that is in balance and harmony....mind, body, and spirit. To be successful in life, a person needs to have all three in balance. When one is off, the whole person is off. Therefore, he has to be aware that his emotions and spirit need as much care as his body.

After happy hour, he went to the movies with Meat. Now I am alone and think that he is going to be fine. he is smart, level headed, and has his goal in front of him.

At this point of the year, I too, have confidence knowing that he is ready for whatever lies ahead. So, I have to also relax and take care of my mind, body, and spirit. Therefore, I am going to put my pajamas on...grab a book.....and chill......

Happy New Year!

The season of miracles

Merry Christmas, happy new year, happy holidays! Yes, the holidays are officially over for me. We prepared. We baked. We cooked. We gathered. And now....we rest....sort of.....not really.

This Christmas was quite special as we gathered together and enjoyed each others' company. With the new (and naughty) pups, we spent some time together just hanging out with extended family and friends. Last night, we went to Dr. G's house for Christmas celebration and were witness to lots of little miracles....such as....



Big M is still going strong. Given a devastating cancer diagnosis, he has battled like no one I have ever seen. As he continues to battle, we are blessed to have him in our lives. Big M is the epitome of what it means to be a survivor. He never gave up and continues to impress us with his grit and determination....He is truly a strong man. On Tuesday night, he was honored at his college alma mater during half time for his volunteerism and demonstration of loyalty. He was given the game ball.  he is my hero....


Another miracle was that BP Grandpop continues to defy the odds and is on his feet again...well, sort of. he is using a walker but has not let his healing hip stop him from accomplishing his goals and attending dinners and parties. After all, he is the party.....


The next miracle is BP Grandmom. She also defies the odds as she cares for and encourages Pop. I got to say, I am not sure that I would be on the sofa every night as she sleeps by dad's bed. She is a class act and never complains. No miracle there....just a woman who serves silently and sees the joy in each moment.



Another miracle that I am part of is that I have NOT looked at my work email for over a week. That's right. I can't. Won't. Refuse. Need to slow down and let the anxiety of work be carried away with the December winds.

And so, we are preparing to take the dogs south for a week. Why? Who knows. But if it works out without me jumping out of the plane without a parachute, then I will have witnessed yet another mirracle.

And with that....

I got to run.....Peace!

Cut from the A squad

Good evening! Yes, I said evening. I know that I never post after 10 am but I had to get off the first floor and away from the cookies and refrigerator. Yesterday was the 6th annual cookie fest along with soup fest 2. My cousins decided to add the soup fest, so it made sense to me. Therefore, we had thousands of cookies and 6 different soups, apps, and cakes....oh yes, some adult beverages.....fun....family...food...and now, I have to make plans on how in the world I can get my weight watchers mentality back and stay away from the goodies.

Sure, I can toss them. But, that would be ridiculous. It would be like tossing out my puppy because he cannot figure out how to poo outside. In other words, my inability to stay away from the food is temporary. The pants will become tourniquets again and I will staple my mouth closed.



After spending a nice afternoon with Wildcat walking through an uncrowded mall, I sat on the sofa reading, relaxing, watching the fire, and letting the puppies run wild when I heard from the big lefty.
He was out with Hawk tossing the baseball at his elementary school when he saw his middle school baseball coach who immediately recognized him.




At that point they had a nice chat about the last several years of his life. He was  surprised to hear that he was playing D I baseball when the rest of his class mates fizzled out athletically in high school. While they chatted, the big guy thanked the coach for cutting him from the 8th grade basketball A team. He said that it made him focus on baseball since it seemed that his ambition to make it to the NBA was now over at the age of thirteen. That's right. A budding career derailed by the coach who could not see his ability to dribble and cross over in the lane.



He laughs about it today, but I remember the day that he was cut from the A squad like it was yesterday. Ready?

Fade to black.....


The school sponsored a late bus for after school activities, so I was not worried about picking him up after try outs. Instead, I met with a colleague at Starbucks to go over the tenure and promotion policy at the university. It seems that when my son was cut from the varsity, I was almost cut from the university since the administrator and I did not see eye to eye on my scholarship, so my colleague met with me to give me my options which did not include poisoning the administrator with a lethal chocolate caramel cookie (kidding.....although, this guy was not a nice man.....and I am not kidding about that). And so, we sat and chatted when I got a call from a crying kid who was sitting at the bus transfer point looking for me. He was inconsolable over the phone and I had to cut my conversation about job security short and run to find this sad boy.

I apologized to my colleague for having to leave as I ran out the door and zipped the car down the pike to find him. As I turned into the parking lot, there he was....sitting with his head down on the curb with his back pack on his back. He looked lost and incredibly upset. And so, it was another Lifesavers moment as I did my best to be therapeutic and help him to feel better....to no avail....rats! It was time for dad to get involved since I had run out of mom things to say.....he was so upset, I pitied him.



And so, once he calmed down, he was placed on the B team with his friends and they went on to win every game except one. He was the big star on the team, but still bitter about the A team. With that said, in March, I threw a basketball birthday party for him in my university's gym for his B team. After I brought out a cake that said "We're number two" on it....and all was sort of well.


Now these memories are etched in my mind as something quite traumatic and he is telling the coach that he was glad that he was cut. OH MY GOODNESS!


Yes, I know that all things work together for good, but to go back to the guy after I spent years feeling bad for him, he is telling the coach that he was secretly happy about it.



My take on it? Yikes! That's it...yikes.....


More about his chat with the coach later. I have to return to the first floor to make dinner...which I don't need tonight....or any night for a week....


Peace!

Any minute

Hello~! I am sitting in Starbucks waiting for Tink to finish work. Why am I waiting? Long story...it has something to do with Christmas, a boyfriend, presents, and a mother who cannot say 'no'. 'nuff said.



How is the big guy's homecoming? Well, he got home on Thursday and since then, I have seen him for a total of 9 minutes. He is elusive and either in his bedroom or out somewhere.....On my brief sighting, he looked tall, muscular, and hungry. Aside from that, nothing to report....except.....

I sent him to acupuncture yesterday with Mr. Zen. He felt better, but not 100%. Hey, it is not a miracle needle. Shifting energy takes time. Although we were laughing when he told me that he was 'spooned' by Mr. Zen. What is spoon? It seems that the spoon is ceramic and Mr. Z used to to move his energy around. Apparently, it hurt....alot....so, he is not a spoon fan. The crick in the neck is better as is the pinched nerve.

All he has to do is see Yoda on Tuesday and Dr. G later and he will have made his homecoming rounds.

On the way home from school, he had his second flat tire in less than a week. Can anyone say: "Wow! I got two radial tires for Christmas!! Oh boy!"




Yep, he got the tires and will probably get slippers or something cozy like that.

What the heck? Really? Two blown out tires in less than a week. What the UD^)E%$$^ is he doing with his wheels? His grandmother drove that Cadillac to church and back. It had new tires and was detailed before he left. Now he has more new tires and a stern warning that this had better be it. No more tires. He is going to walk or hitch hike if he blows any more tires out. He is lucky that he was not hurt.



what else is going on? Hmnmmm.....well, cookie fest VI and soup fest II are tomorrow afternoon. Dad and the big guy are leaving the state to avoid the party. It seems that thousands of cookies are not enough to keep them around the house. Whatever. More cookies for me....and me....and me....

Yesterday, I took BP Grandmom and Grandpop to the mall. First, I borrowed a wheel chair from work. Sheesh....it was a good move, 'cause BP Grandpop is really slow with the rehab after his broken hip. I would still be waiting for him to make it across the parking lot if it wasn't for that chair. But let me tell ya, I had flashbacks as I wheeled him around the mall. It was not so long ago that I wheeled the kids in a double stroller. Now I wheel Grandpop, who will be more mobile soon.

It just seemed odd as I had the flashbacks of babies then Pop...then toddlers....then Pop...then little kids who ran away from me.....then Pop.....He helped me to pick out a gift for my godson. This kid is tough since he is 17. Yep, every 17 year old wants cash.....but I wanted to give him a gift too.

My godson is a quiet, incredibly handsome young man. He rarely talks. During the summer, I asked him when he got his braces off thinking that it was recent. His response was 'last year.' OK, look dude, you are going to have to speak and smile at me more so that I know what is going on with your teeth and life. Sheesh!

And so, I have to shut down because Tink will be here any minute.....any minute...any minute....

Peace!