Looking for a large box to live in

Good morning! Tink, Buddy and I are preparing to head for the bakery. I am actually eating a huge breakfast so that I am NOT hungry when I get there. I am looking forward to scooping apples and singing a little song in my head.

Why? Well, in the old days (here she goes....)...before iPods....I worked in a kitchen. We put the radio on when the supervisor wasn't there and would sing until it was time to serve dinner. Listening to tunes and singing helped the time to go quickly and pleasantly. Music is actually quite therapeutic....when I played singles in matches or tournaments, I would sing a song over and over in my head and sometimes out loud to get me in the rhythm of the game and keep my mind off of choking. Yep, I do believe that music has a great deal of power and can lull someone to sleep or motivate them to perform at their peak.

I suppose this is why the baseball players have their "walk out" songs. This is also true for the pitchers. Buddy has been working on his walk out song for years. It seems to change every few weeks. I actually suggested a Lenny Kravitz song that had an amazing guitar opening (Are You Going My Way?). Initially he loved it, but is now leaning toward a Toby Keith song. Whatever he wants, it is meant to inspire and keep his level of motivation and concentration at its highest level. My only request that he does not choose a song with 'cuss words, 'cause his momma and grandparents are listening....oh yea and his young impressionable cousins and any other little kid in the stands.

On to their living conditions....yes, there was yet another citation....what does this mean? Well, the room mates have to pay yet another fine for not putting the trash out or bringing the cans back in. Also, if there is trash on the lawn, the police drive by and write out a ticket and hand it to the landlord. From her latest email (yesterday), she is beyond peeved and probably muttering some 'cuss words that won't be found in any walk out song. If she receives another citation, these party boys are out on their !(#^@#))*%. Yeah...then what?

Well, they continue to pay for the house that they rented plus rent on another place as they search for another apartment to live in. If the landlords are organized, then Buddy and his posse have their faces posted on bulletin boards and telephone poles throughout the borough as students NOT to rent to...then what? Hmmm....perhaps if we get a television to replace the one that is not working well, they can live in the box in an alley. No cable...internet...electricity....heat...air conditioning.... oh yeah, no trash to take out. To say that dad is livid would be an understatement. We all know that if they are evicted, then we are responsible for providing the big box for him to live in. Yes, that's right...it will be a box and not a neat condo with a trash compacter but a box with a few holes poked into it for ventilation. After all, his sneakers stink.

Gotta head out....have a good one....however, if you see a big television box with air holes near a large university campus in the future, it could be my son and his friends living in luxury until they leave for the summer recess.

Not enough money to be Broke

Hi! A gorgeous fall day in the northeast. I did not post this morning because I ran a few errands. Tink and I have had our eye on a very large pumpkin at the farmer's market, so I bought it to surprise her. Little did I realize that I would have to pay someone to put the pumpkin in the car AND to take it out. It seems that my little surprise weighs over 80 pounds. Fortunately, there were a couple of guys working down the street on a driveway and I paid them to take the gorgeous gourd out of my car and place it on the lawn. It's a real cutie...I wonder if Tink is going to notice it....hmmmm.....

On to the big kid....he called this morning and told me that his house was still being egged. Once again, I advised him to take photos and share the information to the police. They could catch the vandals in the act.  Yes, he took the photos and no, he is not going to alert the police. The actual egging is occurring to the back of the house and not the front.
  This is an actual picture of the eggs and house.


Speaking of the house, the famous broken porch was fixed by the carpenter and he found that the boards were rotten. Therefore the guys are off the hook so to say and do not have to pay for the damages from the last blow out party.

For the next two weeks, the pitcher who was drafted by the Giants at the end of the season is staying at the house. According to the big leftie, he is spending money like water. He has a big BMW and lots of new clothes and shoes. He is picking up the bar tabs and buying the pizza and booze for the guys. His spending has made my son nervous. Apparently, he watched a movie called "Broke" last night and is concerned that this guy is going to spend all of his money and land up destitute. I told him to relax because he has not seen the bank statements and if he wants to treat his friends, then let him.

"Well, I am not going to spend money like this...I am way too cheap!" Bingo....he is kind of cheap, but he has to be since he does not have any money. I guess that he has been listening to his dad over the years. Don't spend money on what you don't need....don't spend money that you do not have....amazing....he listened....Broke, eh? How about saving your money so that you are not broke?

Although, I did share with him something that I had read in the Joe Paterno biography. Joe would tell his players: "Do you want three cars or a three car garage?" In other words, don't spend new found money on something that is frivolous rather on something that is lasting like a home or real estate.

With that said, I am going to try to find the movie Broke on television and catch what made my son so nervous. Perhaps the big kid is growing up. Perhaps the new found money that he sees his friend have has made him contemplate the meaning of financial solvency. I don't know...stay tuned!

Cleaning up again

Hi! This post is a quickie since I have to catch a plane for my favorite state of Ohioooooo. I have to evaluate a program for the next three days so I should be out of touch....and out of touch am I after a 2 am wake up call....why, you may ask? Did someone die? Accident? Wrong number? Or could it have been one irate, sober young man who has an "open door" policy to his college house......

If you guessed the last one, you are correct and are now eligible for the million dollar prize at the end of the year. Yeah.....I was in a deep REM sleep....you know the kind....all your muscles are relaxed and you are lying on a beach with a skinny margarita just having lost 15 pounds....yeah...that kind of sleep.....then it rang and rang....

'Lo....."I had to call someone who could calm me down before I blew up and hit someone...."

Nice beginning to jolt me away from the beach...and so, the nuts and bolts of the drama are in the outline below:

A. Police raided the party at someone else's house which started the evening.
      1. Invited the girls gymnastics team back to the house
B. The rest of the party came back to the house too
     1. Nice gymnast....really cute
     2. Making progress.....
     3. Liked her since frosh year
C. Party continues
D. One bathroom
E. Toilet overflows and water streams down the stairs and through the ceiling. Gymnasts scatter in all directions and leave the house.
F. Get the towels
H. Who threw the rock through the window?
     1. Come on...admit it.....no one? Rock flew into window by gravity
I. End table busted
J. No one helped to clean the mess in the bathroom or the empties around the house
K. Outside of house a mess
L. Party out of hand
   1. Two roomies do not care
    2. One roomie cares
    3. One roomie storms out after yelling at 100 people
M. Angry roomie calls his mom at 2 am taking her away from her skinny margarita and cool summer breeze.

OK, so you have the outline and can fill in the blanks. I let him calm down and said in a very matter of fact way: "Time to put your big boy pants on and go back to your house. Take care of business."
 
And so it goes....poo, pee, vomit, sludge, gymnasts, broken glass, broken tables, and strewn trash....a successful party? Yes?

Bullpen Mom's Olympiad

Greetings! As you know, my bottom has been attached to the easy chair for the last ten days watching the Olympic games. Fortunately, I do not eat while watching television, but my muscles are starting to atrophy while watching the world's best table tennis players and professional US athletes beat up on third world nations.

One of the highlights have been the South African man who is running sprints. He does not have legs and uses prosthesis. This is what it is all about in my book. Not letting something like no legs stop a guy from competing. I respect his ability to not take no for an answer.

Another highlight has been the runners who have overcome great obstacles to train and train and train....all the athletes have given up so much to get there. I watched several runners "lapped" during the 10,000 M race. If it was me, they would have turned the lights out in the stadium and told me to lock up when I was done. Whew! No medal for me....

I also respect the swimming champion who did not kill his mother when she announced to the world that he was too busy to date so he has one night stands instead. If it was my son, he would have killed me. Conversely, if it was my son, I would have killed him. No one night stands....is that what he would want for his sister? Doubtful....so please treat women like individuals and respect them as you would want your mother and sisters to be respected. And Swimmer Mom...take my advice: "Shut up, sit down, and watch the games. Stop embarrassing your kid. You are giving all mothers who sit in the stands and watch their athletes a bad name."

More highlights include looking at the clothing especially the uniforms and sneakers. Believe it or not, the sneakers have captured my attention. During track and field, no one wore the traditional black cleats. There were bright yellow, orange, green, and gold. I watched the colorful sneakers spinning around the track. I have no idea who won. I think the guy with the bright yellow sneakers finished first. Is this a new trend? Last week I bought a new pair of tennis sneakers and they are grey with pink trim. Flashy, eh? Now I look especially menacing when I hit the ball into the net.

And so, I ponder.....after dedicating your entire life to one moment in time, is it important to win or more important to look good while losing? Only one person can win a gold medal. That means countless others like me are losers. Therefore, I contend that if you are going to lose, wear a very cool looking pair of sneakers. Also, make sure that your Ralph Lauren USA outfit is pressed and clean.

Keep in mind, while you are losing in front of a global audience, watch your mouth, 'cause we can read lips in our living rooms.  Would you want your sweet little granny who is watching you in her parlor with her girl friends to see that?

Remember, you not only represent your country, but your family is watching. Keep your potty mouth in check. It does not match your flashy sneakers.

Choking: A hazard among athletes

Good Morning! There is a great deal to do, so I have to keep this one short. Hope all is well....

The Olympics remain on the 'telly' as I have been addicted to the games. I had a Starbucks scone (very dry) for breakfast. Is that British enough? By the way, they are looking for barristas at my Starbucks. Too late for me to apply. I have to start classes at the end of this month.

Yesterday, I watched a tennis match in which the losing player double faulted the match point. Not only did I groan for him but I screamed at the guy. I hope that he heard me thousands of miles away. Was I angry with him? No! I felt his pain. Here he is in a tie break 12-11 and he hit two serves out and was eliminated. Poor guy. I consider this a major choke.

You know what a choke is....it is a slang term for when an athlete makes an unforced error due to anxiety or a mental letdown. I can only imagine that his coach had to talk him off the ledge last night. Buddy was standing next to me at the time and I told him that the double fault was like walking in the winning run in the World Series. This is not the way it is supposed to go. The opponent is supposed to dominate or win with talent. The loser is not supposed to fold and fall apart like a cheap suit.

Ok, here it comes.....for example....I was playing a tennis match at a higher level in which I am rated against clearly better players (on paper). We lost the first set easily and made adjustments during the second set and won it. Then we took a quick break and lost our momentum. As the opposing team won the match, we shook hands. One of the opposing players said to me: "I must have fallen asleep in the second set." My reply was: "Or something like that...." In other words, she was saying that there was no way that we should have gone into three sets and rather than thinking that we were worthy opponents, she was saying that she should not have relaxed. She did not acknowledge that we made adjustments and that the set win was a fluke. Now, talk about ego....

What about ego? Well, in competition, you gotta have it. Without an ego, then there would be no reason to get out there and lay it out on the court or field. A healthy ego can give a person the confidence to face competition. Just ask anyone who plays a sport. Sure, they love their game or exercise, but a person absolutely needs to understand that he or she can win the game at any time.

Buddy has a major ego. He needs it to get him through the rough and pressure-filled times. In fact, his ego is as big as Montana. This is a good thing. Only a person with complete confidence in their abilities has the courage to take the mound and fire fast balls over a tiny plate. He needs to understand that he can dominate. And he does. But it only comes with hard work.

Therefore, my parting words for the day are: "There is nothing beyond the reach of determination and hard work."

Go USA!

BP Mom Olympics

Hi!
It's been a few days since my last post. The Olympics have captured my attention. Unfortunately, I know the results before the event is broadcasted. For example, as I watched NBC this morning with my coffee in hand, they reported the Queen's granddaughter was in the hunt for a medal. Then Matt Lauer started a lame interview and I changed the channel to ABC who then announced the granddaughter won a silver medal. OK, no need to turn NBC back on. My 30 minutes dedicated to cheering Zara Phillips was cancelled.

In a way, it makes me kind of sad. With Twitter, Internet, and 24 hour reporting, we knew within seconds that Michael Phelps lost a race. There is a new swimmer in town named Ryan Somebody-or-another and he beat the all time swimming champ. Also, I knew that the men's gymnasts lost the medal. But they were not scheduled to show the meet until late at night. Anyone with a computer knew the outcome, so it was onto a HBO movie.

What I don't understand is why NBC just does not broadcast these big events live....show the competition at 2pm. I'll watch...but I am not going to watch a match in which I know the outcome. It is a waste of time.

Although, on Sunday night, we took BP Grandmom and Grandpop to a sports bar (OK, no judging...) and watched table tennis (again don't judge...it was cool to watch). Wow....are those players fast and good. It makes our little Christmas ping pong tournament seem quite bogus. These Olympians can teach us a thing or two or one hundred. Amazing.....

So, as I sit on the sofa with an ice bag on my knee after losing a tough match today with Red, beach volleyball is on.....yep, it's an Olympic sport. Naturally, I am rooting for USA, but the other team (I think ESP is Spain) is pretty tough. If I was a few years younger and had to choose an Olympic sport to train for, I don't think that I could choose one because they either look like a lot of fun or scare the life out of me.

For example, the archery looks like it would be fun. The only sports injury that I could incur would probably be a blister on my arrow hand. On the other hand. the girls and guys who are gymnasts get my complete respect. Propelling themselves on the uneven bars is amazing...then they vault and twist in the air and land on their feet....then the balance beam is probably one of the most outrageous events as they do cartwheels and flips on a plank the size of a toothpick. Maybe I am a bit chicken to even try it. OK, I am too afraid to even give a cartwheel a go....and my balance has been way off....so what do I do?

Well, I guess that I will stick to what I know best with tennis. I have given up Zumba since my knees started to ache and I tore a meniscus. Today, I read in the paper that doctors see at least two Zumba related injuries per week and the newest trend called "Insanity" is also causing more injuries.   Paddle is out since you have to bend the knees the entire time and they have already sent my brain a memo that they will not allow me to play this sport. 

And so, if there is an Olympic sport that will give gold medals for eating cupcakes or petting a dog, then I will continue my training. Until then, go Team USA!

Treasure or trash?

Good morning! It's a soupy day in the northeast....by 'soupy' I mean that breathing outdoors is like breathing through soup. Does that make any sense? Probably not, so on we go....

Yesterday the big kid took the day off from working out. It seems that the three hours that he spent in rehab on Friday was a bit much and the knees are screaming. Do all baseball players work out this much? Is this the standard or beyond the standard? I am not really sure but can attest that knee discomfort can ruin a person's day. I hope that he is not developing BP mom-syndrome....What is BPMS? Well, there is no cure for it. Jerry Lewis, Paul McCartney, and their fund raisers have still not heard about this pervasive crippler. In fact, there are only a few people who understand the syndrome.

Basically,  BPMS is a hurt, boo boo, or ouch-y that a person feels as he or she walks up the stairs. When trying to take two steps at a time, the person with BPMS begins to slow down and says "Ouch" then continues to climb the stairs. Currently, scientists are looking for a way to manage this pain. Sadly, funding is limited and therefore research in the prevention and alleviation of the syndrome is almost non existent. Therefore, sufferers must endure the boo-boo throughout their life time. let's applaud their survival skills.....

Yes, it's a tough road but doable. After all, it's not cancer, heart disease, or diabetes.

Yesterday, I stopped at a moving sale. Neighbors were downsizing and trying to clear out their basement. Naturally, it was an opportunity to find some used items for Buddy to take to college to fill his house. he needed a dresser for his clothes, television, and book case. As Tink and I drove up to the house, the goods were picked over. There were just a few items left. Disappointed, I looked at the back of the garage and to my pleasure, there was a beat up dresser, end table, broken book shelves, and coffee table. Wow! it was everything that he needed. Now I was ready to negotiate. Here is how it is done....

BPM: "How much do you want for the dresser?"
Tired Seller: "$5.00"
BPM: "Hmmmm... how about the rest of the stuff?"
TS: "You can have it all for $20."
BPM (holding back her glee): "I see. OK, we'll take them. How about the big blue Amish star in the trash can?"
TS: "It's trash. Take it." Remember, someone's trash is someone else's treasure.

Yeah, baby....and so....we backed the car up the driveway and loaded it with the used furniture and drove home. I could not believe my luck. We almost scored their television for free, but she had promised it to another buyer. The tv was a big older model but functional and the guys could play nintendo on it. Sadly, she offered it to another college kid. No sweat...Tink and I could not lift it anyway. it was too heavy.

Now, all he needs is a television for his bedroom, toilet paper, paper towels, napkins, and cleaning supplies. Then he will be ready for his junior year. One last thing....whatever he brings to this house stays there. He is not to bring any of these wonderful treasures back to our home. He can sell them, give them away, or throw them out. I don't care. I just do not want to see them again. This also includes the infamous too big sofa, kitchen table and chairs, and dishes, glasses and utensils. The guys can also have a graduation sale and sell the items for $25.00 and make a profit. It's the American way....

The Rules

It's Sunday, Sunday, Sunday! We are celebrating Lil A's 10th birthday. She's a cool kid who in her ten years has already participated in a triathlon, loves sports, and is a die-hard fan of the Phillies, Eagles, and Hunger Games. She wears her hair like the protagonist in the movie and is taking archery lessons. She is collecting stickers from the grocery store and if she wins the million dollars, she and Tink will split the money. She makes her own cheesecakes and fresh homemade pasta.....Neat kid, huh? Happy double digit birthday, kiddo....many many many more to come!

 I'm a bit tired today for a number of reasons. Last night I did not sleep well at all.....why, BP mom? Too much dinner? Dessert? Merlot? Partying late? Reading a good book that you could not put down? a late HBO movie?

The answer is "no" to all of the above...so let me start at the beginning....Once upon a time....

....in the land of BP mom, her son decided that he was going to attend a party with high school friends in the first state....and so, he asked politely if he could use the car. He planned on staying the night with the guys and returning home late Sunday morning. "Staying overnight" was code for there will probably be some drinking involved. Plans were made and BP mom naturally said: "Yes, have a good time."

Then he stopped her as she was leaving the house..."aren't you going to go down the list before I leave?" The list, ahhh yes, the list. The "list" is a series of 'do's' and do not's' that I review before any child leaves the house on an evening to attend a party.

Since the parties that my kids now attend no longer serve Kool-aid but something a bit stronger, he was surprised that I did not review the list. And so, to be consistent, I started:

• No drinking and driving
• Keep your drink with you at all times
• No dui's
• No drunken disorderliness
• No arrests (I will not post bail ...at least for 24 hours)
• If the party gets out of hand, you are to leave
• If the party gets out of hand and you have been drinking, you call me...no questions asked...I will pick you up and put you to bed. There will be no conversation after I pick you up unless you want to have it.
• Lastly, dad finishes the list by saying: "Don't do anything stupid...." (That gives the receiver a number of options as he or she weighs the stupidity level of any action.....)

And so, off he went to be with his high school friends and the rest of us went to dinner. As we drove to the restaurant, I said to dad: "he'll be home tonight. He won't make it." How did I know that? Was I psychic? Am I a fortune teller? Nope, just a mom who knows her kid. He loves his bed and his sleep. He likes a party but in small doses; drinking until a person is blind is not his idea of a good time. He has too much to lose.

Once we returned home from dinner, I started to read and considered that maybe he was going to make it. After all, his friends are nice guys, so perhaps they just want to hang out, play video games, talk, laugh and go to bed. Was I right? Welllll....

Around 3:30 am, I heard the garage door go up and jumped out of bed. Seeing that it was Buddy and his friend, I ran to turn off the house alarm. They almost ran into the house as if they were trying to get away from something. Lo and behold, in the darkness of the stairwell, he and his friend began to spill their guts...."It was bad...the guys were smashing tables and pictures....they were also flipping over furniture....then some of them tried to pick a fight with me. We looked at each other and knew that we had to get out of there...."

OK boys, get something to eat and go to bed. I'll see you in the morning. I knew that his friend was with him at our home because if his mother had a glimmer of what had happened, I would be able to hear her scream at my house....so he was welcome and upon day light, he could explain to her what had happened. Actually, she would be proud of her boy for leaving a bad situation.

And so, this morning after Buddy drove his friend home, he gave us the low lights of the party and thanked us for letting him go and encouraging him to leave if the party got out of hand. Dad listened quietly and I could tell that he was impressed by his son's decision making skills....although for the life of me, I still don't understand the decision to leave a wet towel on the carpet....

With that said, college parties have not changed over the years. Too much drink and youth is the recipe for disaster. Some of the kids are on ADD meds and are impulsive by nature. By late evening, the medication has worn off and the impulsiveness heightens. Drinking does not equal coolness. In fact, there is nothing cool about a kid vomiting in the bathroom or on their clothes or a rowdy bunch of guys destroying old furniture from the family's home. That is not cool.

So, what is cool in college? My take on it is hanging out with friends, talking, laughing, and having a good time....alcohol and its effects can lead to nothing good and often is the source of stupid behavior. Ask my friend who was arrested in front of a party for hitting a guy who picked a fight with him. The results? Well, he spent the night in jail, picked up a nasty virus, lost 25 pounds, went to court, and was sued, and almost lost his scholarship. ...oh yeah...he was underage too....a recipe for disaster....

And there was Buddy's best friend in elementary school who was a hard partier in high school. I loved this kid. He had a wonderful sense of humor and was a great friend to my son. We will be looking back on his untimely alcohol-related death in August. He will be dead for two years. Tragically, he never made it to college. Burying a teenager or any child is not my idea of fun, especially when you look at the depth of the parent's despair on their faces. Further, I have lost a number of good friends when drunk drivers have crashed into their cars. One friend lost her entire family to an inebriated driver when they were headed out to buy ice cream. The last thing that she remembers with her husband and two children in the car was counting her change to make sure she had enough money to buy ice cream cones. She was the only survivor (if that's what you can call it) from the accident.

Therefore, despite losing a bit of sleep, I am beyond thrilled that the big guy felt that he could come home and not be judged. Not going to happen if he follows the "rules".

I may joke about Merlot moments, but that's it....it's basically a joke....no drunkenness...no driving...nothing.... It takes a strong conviction and good decision making skills to know when to cut the booze off. The kids are not ready yet, but thankfully...the big leftie followed his conscience and got out of a bad situation...now he can reap the benefits of a mom who can call her son 'trustworthy'...ahh, he is growing up....thank the Good Lord.......

Returning to where it began

Hi!

Not much going on this weekend. The big kid continues to work out with his physical therapist and at the gym. He is passionate about his sport and is desperate to return to his team for fall ball. In fact, he is progressing better than expected. Over the years, he has learned about hard work and not listen to individuals who did not think that he had the "goods" to bring it home.

Tonight, I had to twist his arm to return to his elementary school to honor his former coach who has been teaching there for 20 years. Over 60 graduates of the little academy are returning and he was not one of the kids happy to attend the party.

Why did I have to twist his arm? Well, if you are a regular reader, you may know that elementary school was painful for him. He was somewhat of a quiet kid and was bullied and ostracized on and off by the tougher kids. He was scorned on a number of occasions and I had to threaten on a number of times to take him out of the school and enroll him in another school closer to home.

However, the punches that he took as a kid served not to knock him down but strengthen him. Yes, it was painful for him and us. There were times when I would dry his tears and hold back my own. But all of the taunts and difficulties served to mold a guy who worked harder than anyone else. As he goes back to school tonight with his dad, he is the only regular division 1 college player of the entire graduating class. That's right...the guys who started and were the coach's favorites are starting to form beer guts and remember the glory days of 8th grade....sheesh! On the other hand, Buddy returns a reluctant hero.

That's right. Before he left the house, he said that he did not want to rub his success in anyone's face. Hmmm...from a kid who was the brunt of the kids' jeers. Interesting....yep...interesting...he has a heart and sense of right and wrong...well done!

Addendum: as I finished writing this note, the kid returned home very early. He never saw the guest of honor since he arrived late and was anxious to leave. Upon questioning, he disclosed that he was the tallest person at the party and the kids who once taunted him were losing their hair and had beer bellies. He wanted no part of the party once he was there and left immediately. My spidey senses tell me that walking back into the gymnasium brought up painful memories.

Once again, although he experienced troubling times, there were good ones too. However, no one at that school acknowledged his potential and often relegated him to the back. I would tell him that a person's true athletic talents blossom at the age of 14 years old. He waited and shazamm! He grew.....filled out....and threw a fast ball that would break Delaware records.

Therefore, may I submit that although the going was rough....he prevailed...excelled ....and is now one of the top relievers in his conference. I do believe the coach should be thanked for this one. Gracias coach, for ignoring and belittling my kid. It worked. He is still playing ball and has moved forward despite many periods of self doubt and bouts of low self esteem. For this (and only this) am I grateful.......