Late Start

Hello! Believe it or not, I am cold.....yep...the humidity and sun are gone and it is a bit chilly here.

Not much going on today. I am sorry that I did not post yesterday. I don't even remember why...think, BPM....Oh yeah, I did not post because I was trying to finish my grades. I wanted to free my time up to relax. Just as I clicked on the grade submission, I got an email from a book publisher who wanted to pay me to read a new edition of their book and comment on the content. Hmmm...Let's see....they are going to pay me to read a book and offer suggestions to improve the content....gonna pay me...money...just to read....Yeah...I think I can do that!

And so, I have my next week planned as I read a book AND get paid for it!!! That's my kind of job. Can I sign up for some more of these assignments?

Speaking of reading, I pulled Tink out of bed 5 minutes before her class was to start. Yep, she overslept and did not hear the alarm. Oy! The school is 20 minutes from the house. She has to get herself ready, walk the dog, eat breakfast, and get there in 4 minutes. Can it be done? Only if her name is Captain James T Kirk of the Starship Enterprise and Scotty is going to beam her to the classroom. Otherwise, she is late.

My thought about Tink being late is that my job as mom will never really be over. As long as I live, I will always be worried about these two lovely children. My beloved Tink is always late and moving her to be on time is like trying to move the Rock of Gibraltar with a girl scout troop. And Buddy....well....he is always on time, but he has his issues like where is he going to put his college furniture after the apartment lease is over on the 13th and his house is not ready until the 15th.

Let's chat about the 'house'....it seems that the owners needs two extra days because they have to fumigate it. They also have to get rid of the spiders as well as any other free loading boarders in the home. Looking at this, I am thrilled that I am no longer in college....I do not desire to have room mates who have 8 legs. nope....the two legged room mates are more than I can handle right now.

Got to cut this one very short. Tink locked the keys in the car when she stopped to pick up dog food after class. I have to go and rescue her. The day has not started off very well for her...

Have a great day!

Adaptation

Coffee drinkers live longer lives according to the latest research. Who knew? Not only is it a beverage, but it was something discovered at the Fountain of Youth by Ponce de Leon. Mystery solved.

Drinking coffee is all I have right now that will keep me alive as having family under one roof this week may kill me. Kidding...no, not really...It is taking more than a week to be accustomed to having both former teenagers home who are acting like adolescents again as they acclimate to a home setting with a parent in charge. Tink and Buddy want to be in charge and make the rules yet not assume responsibility. What does this mean? Well....

It means that BP mom has to be more vigilant and more commando-like as she establishes order in this home. It means that Tink and Buddy must abide by my rules, pick up the slack and do chores, not sleep until noon, walk the dog, clean up their mess, and wash dishes. In the meantime, they will be granted as much food as they please, hot dinners on the table, a car at their disposal, and a fully equipped room to use. Without pitching in, they would be like boarders who do not pay rent and I become the domestic help cleaning up after messy people. Should I wear my old gold waitress outfit as I serve and clean up after them? It was quite fashionable in college with the matching white shoes and multi colored food stains.

Am I complaining? You betcha! This is a family, not a boarding house, therefore, everyone pitches in and has a role. Although, maybe they are not the only family members to figure it out. I think that I have to be more understanding too. After all, the big kid would work out, study, attend class, and go to bed at three in the morning. He has to readjust his schedule and way of thinking too. Tink just has to figure out that she is no longer an only child and has to continue to help her ole mama around the house.
I no longer want to spray End Dust on their heads as they park themselves for hours collecting dust and playing their video games and watching movies.

Ok, enough complaining.

Today is Big Sis's birthday. Happy birthday! She is the oldest of the 6 of us and paved the way for us with the folks. Unfortunately since I was child number 2, I did not have the benefits of the parents being worn out like number 6 did. However, Big Sis gave it her best shot. One of my favorite stories about her came from Big M, her high school sweetheart and hubby. Big M made us laugh as he shared the story of walking her (or actually) dragging her around the block when she was too inebriated to enter the family home when they were in college. he can point out the spots in the neighborhood where she would stop, vomit, move on, zig zag, stop, vomit, collapse and finally sober up before she met her curfew. Fun stuff, eh? Now that she is a young grammy, we can hold this story over her head as baby Cupcake grows and begins to ask stories about growing up together. Oh yeah, it will be fun watching her squirm a bit.

Although, I must admit, I was not an angel and was caught all the time. I was terrible at breaking rules and never got away with anything. Perhaps this is something that my kids have inherited. They are bad at being bad. I have lived too long and broke the same rules over and over, and nothing they do surprise me. I can actually anticipate their next move. It's like a chess game, except I actually have the advantage since I have played the game before many, many times.

And so, it is time to move on to physical therapy with the "Tank". He has thought of a number of exercises that I cannot believe are therapeutic. In fact, there were a few times when I asked him for the scientific evidence that strapping rubber bands around my thighs and ankles and making me walk or waddle down a long hall were going to strengthen my legs rather than make me fall on my face. There are times when I looked around the room looking for cameras, 'cause I am afraid that my therapy would go viral on YouTube.

With that note, I am off....literally...have a wonderful day!

Paying the Price

Good morning! The sky is blue; there is a breeze and chill in the air....a perfect day. Although today is day 3 of Diva Dog's illness. She has been queasy, anorexic, with vomiting, and has diarrhea...Oy, on Saturday, I actually considered buying another dog. If trying to get the mess out of Buddy's carpet has not dissuaded me, nothing will. And so, my pretty little dog that I wanted to bring home with me named Dusty will have to find a home with another family. 'Cause right now, I am on my knees trying to clean up the poo and vomit. I barely recovered from yesterday's veterinarian bill, yet if the dog does not feel better by the end of the day, I have to go back for round 2 this afternoon. I need doggie health insurance. Will there be a co-pay on the plan?

This morning dad received an invoice from last year's summer baseball team. It seems that my son, a college student, refused to return his uniform despite a number of requests. He was angry with his treatment from the summer and chose a passive aggressive way of demonstrating his militancy by keeping the jersey. Normally, I do not get involved in these things, but I have a few photos of the former blow-up companion Irene wearing the jersey for parties (a party frock, if you will) and Angel wearing it to barbecue the burgers. I am sure that it rests comfortably on the bottom of a pile of clothes in the closet or being used as a dust rag (doubtful).

The invoice is quite sizable and dad is a bit peeved (this is the Rated PG version). The owner of the team sent the note that said that since Buddy could not "find" the jersey to return, he had to pay for a new one. This makes sense although we paid over $600 for the privilege of sitting in the bull pen holding sunflower seed spitting contests. Further, we paid to live there, food, rent, and so on. This year's bill to play ball in Maryland was less than half of that amount. Are baseballs more expensive in Ohio?

Now the big leftie is going to have to do something about this invoice. I am not paying it. Let me be very clear....I am not going to pay to replace a jersey that is sitting on  blow-up doll in a college boy's apartment. OK, one more time....this bill is my son's and if he has to work in the bakery 24/7 until it is paid, then so be it. For the last time, and I am very sincere.....I pay the water bill, gas bill, mortgage and college tuition, but I will not pay for doll clothes. I don't ever recall my Barbie's wardrobe starting at $250.00. Not ever...

This leads me to share one of the articles that I read this morning online. Each day, I start with the coffee and reading news on my iPad. As I reviewed the headlines, a link looked interesting entitled: "Six ways to ruin your children." After hearing about the jersey's invoice from the Ohio version of George Steinbrenner, I clicked on the link thinking that I ruined my kids. Here are a few of the six mistakes:

1. Give in: Parents are afraid if they deny a child's request for something, they will not love them. OK, if I caved in every time my child asked for something, we would be living in a box over a vent in the city. They didn't just want candy or sodas...they wanted it all...action figures, game systems, expensive games, fancy jerseys, hot sneakers, and so on. Sorry gang, the money tree died after Buddy was born. There was a hurricane that came through and our money tree blew away with my Porsche and Mercedes.

2. Lack of discipline: A parent should set consistent rules with consequences. explain why misbehaving in unacceptable. Once again, the rules would vary based on the situation. No one can have consistent rules, 'cause the kids are creative in misbehaving. One day they would be vacuuming broken eggs, then next minute there is baby powder all over their bodies, the bathroom, and bedrooms. Other creative ways of rule-bending would be half truths or no truths at all. Not completing homework, being late for school, fighting, and not listening to a parent or teacher. How can  a parent be consistent? One infraction is not the same as the second or third. There are levels of rule-breaking, so I need a chart and say to them: "OK, you have a potty mouth. According to my graph designed by my personal actuary, the consequences to your action is three days without your action figures and bedtime at 8 pm and not 9 pm." Or for spitting in the garage, the consequences could be dusting the house for three weeks....perhaps we have something here. It could actually turn into a Handbook for Parents. Based on the size of the infraction, you find the penalty on the chart.  Would Dr. Spock approve? How about Mr. Spock? Captain Kirk?

Let's move down to number 5: Set a bad example: "Cutting in line, lying, saying curse words, and stealing" sets a bad example for your children. I agree with this point and gave up my life of crime when Tink came along. Not wanting her to follow in this line of business, I decided that racketeering, forgery, and bribery would have to be replaced by a job that I could earn 25% of what I am worth in larger cities.

6. Not being present: This means not showing up for games and shows, working late, and ignoring your kids. They recommend spending an afternoon in a park to avoid having the child feel neglected. I know that I did not break this one. I finally shared with Tink last week that the last play that she was in was the worst that I had ever seen in my life. I will never get back the hours that I gave up to watch the Princess and the Pea (the high school musical) on a number of nights as I supported her venture into the theater. It was awful.Tink looked at me and I thought that she would be insulted. Instead she said: "Mom, it was the worst play...ever!" Whew...on the same page on this one.

It was at this point that I did not want to read any more of the article. I had already broken the parenting rules and ruined my kids according to the author.  What did I ultimately learn from this article? Nothing. Absolutely nothing! Come on, people! A lot of this nonsense is common sense. I can't financially give them everything that they want. Discipline? Absolutely. Otherwise, the inmates would have been running the asylum. Setting a bad example? Does cursing under your breath then running to confession indicate you are a bad parent? Lastly, not being present....OK, there were days when my kids did not want me to be present. But on a whole, they did. I was accused by a friend of being a helicopter parent (one who hovers around). This could not be farthest from the truth. I want them to make it on their own. I will help, but it is up to them to ultimately take the big steps on their own.

And there you have it....BP mom....not a saint....just a parent trying to figure it out without a chart, brochure, or manual. Aren't we basically the same at heart?

Time to get through the day as I keep my fingers crossed that there will be no emergency visits to the vet. Can I give the dog a Tums?

Have a great day!

Passion: Good or bad?

Good morning! Another overcast day and my flowers are loving the attention from Mother Nature. Actually, the weeds love it too.

As I mentioned yesterday, one of the pitchers threw a no-hitter on Saturday and was featured on the Top Ten Best Plays countdown on ESPN. When he returned to campus early this morning, he tweeted about the airline losing his luggage and his car was towed. So much for a hero's welcome. And this, my friends, is the reason why life is so amazing. One minute we are feeling as high as a kite and the next minute, we are looking for our underwear in an airport terminal.

Which leads me to consider the phenomenon of emotions. Think about it...emotions are what drives us to set goals. We accomplish the aforesaid goals because we need to or are driven to....In other words, the feelings or emotions that we have are the reason why we get out of bed in the morning, put on our pants, make coffee, and walk up the stairs to work.

 Let's consider the following: why do I write this blog? The answer is complicated, however, what I can divulge is purely the emotion of satisfaction and the need to set the record straight. Why do I have to be accurate in my stories and descriptions? Well, over the years, I have watched my son be misunderstood and had the need to share the real experiences with the world (or the five people who read this blog). Mostly, I have observed and felt a strong maternal angst as he is snarled at, ridiculed, and criticized by his coaches, team mates, and peers. In other words, it is the emotion of a parent standing by who cannot do more than watch....or can she?

Hence, the tell-all, and oh so accurate blog about the little kid who is now growing up and desperately wants to play big league baseball from his mother's perspective. The next point is why is my son so driven to be the best and play a sport that only a few truly succeed in attaining the highest level of play? I honestly cannot answer it, but my sense is that he has a passion for pitching and the sport. And because of this strong emotional attachment to his craft, he will do anything to achieve this goal. When you look at it from a distance, it may seem a bit over the top, yet when you surround yourself by people who have a passion for something, you can see why they work so hard to actualize their life's work.

It seems that the emotions that they have while playing their sport cannot be eclipsed by anything else in life. The drive to make it is far more powerful than anything else in their life including friendships and school work.  To quote California: "Off the field, you are my friend. On the field, I will do anything to take your place in the line up. It is not personal." I believe it. However, this guy can separate competition on and off the field and I wonder if my kid has that capacity right now.  He is incredibly emotional which can be a positive and negative. On the one hand, emotions drive behaviors. On the other hand, emotions can halt behaviors. A person can out think and feel themselves out of competition.

For example (another tennis story, sorry)....when I played tennis, I could sense when a person would be tightening up and their fear of losing would take over. They either worked harder or folded like a cheap suit and I was able to pull out a win or lose because I became overly tense. Why is winning so important? Well, as dad puts it: "Winning would not feel so good if losing didn't feel so bad." This time, he is right. The feeling or fear when a person loses can almost be incapacitating. This can be evident in the work place, card game, or baseball diamond. No true competitor likes to lose, but it is a real emotion that one grapples with on a regular basis.

Why would a person want to put themselves out there in the public day after day with their successes and failures publicized? At this point, I am not sure. Perhaps it is the emotion felt when winning. Maybe it is a passion for the sport and a feeling of accomplishment that cannot be achieved any other way. After all, winning at pinocle does not feel the same as winning a tournament or the World Series. And so it goes....I will continue to chronicle the good, bad, and ugly as well as the emotions that accompany a seemingly endless journey of success and failures, ups and downs, highs and lows, and the drive to pursue a personal and long held goal.

Whew...enough said. Time for work....have a great day.