People do steal and cheat...and lie

Good morning! This is a quick one to update all about the diabolical plan to find the perp who stole the big kid's medication. Actually, there is no real plan, just a new wariness that we don't flash $1000 bills in a subway in Rome or demonstrate that we have a bottle of ADD medication in our backpacks. This is a new person who has come to the realization that there are nasty people out there who will lie and cheat.

Huh? Really? Mean people? People who don't give a hoot that this medication is not only expensive but necessary for concentration? Oh my! My heart!

Yes, the package that I had camouflaged was delivered and the contents were hidden in some shoe or sock or something innocuous that a person would not want to put their hands on...underwear perhaps? Anyway, he will carry 1 tablet with him on the days that he has class and tests. Otherwise, the vial is hidden. Ok, once again, this is another learning experience that the kid would not have absorbed with a causal: "Oh, by the way, people may steal from you. Don't be surprised. Just be cautious." That warning bit the dust long ago. Who would want to steal something from a 6'4" giant? Hmmmm...perhaps someone who is desperate?

Anyway, all is well and I am on my way out the door to being the day. I hope that you have a good one....Later!

To cruise or not to cruise?

Yeah! What a beautiful day in the northeast...low humidity...low temperatures...it's like the spring that we never had.

Last night we had a family meeting about a summer vacation. I wanted to take an Alaskan cruise in August before the kids return to college. I felt that a cruise would be relaxing. Further, by cruising through Alaska, it would be interesting too. As a family, we have  not had a vacation in years. I have never felt deprived, we just had other things to do during the summer. One year, Buddy and I were in Florida for a week. OK, technically, this was not a vacation, but it felt like it as we both did something that we love. He played ball at the Red Sox facility and I watched. How great is that?

And so, when we proposed the cruise, I got a "no way, nope...not going...I have to continue my rehab....got to get back to baseball." Hmmm.... Dude, the ship has a state of the art training facility where you can work out in luxury...all the food you can eat...sleep late...see interesting things...be with your beloved and supportive family. What gives?

After he said that, I made the executive decision: "OK, no cruise, no vacation. We are staying home."

Was I being a martyr? Did I want him to feel bad about ruining my vacation? After all, the three of us could have gone without him, but I was not having it. Let me be clear. This is not punishing him in any way. In fact, it is supporting my big leftie.

How so? Well.....it is not a family vacation unless the 'family' goes together. If one of us for one reason or another cannot leave, then none of us leave. We're a family and if that means that our vacation takes place in the backyard, gym, or mall, then so be it. We are going to be together. That's it.

Would Roseann leave without DJ (uh, yeah...probably)....but June and Ward would not leave for Alaska without the Beaver.

Am I sad that I am not taking my long awaited cruise? Nope. I can always go somewhere for a long weekend with Tink, Chill, Blue Devil, Scoob or Big Sis. Sometimes I take Grandmom and Grandpop to the beach. Not being at work is a vacation too.....

And so, the day begins with the promise of accomplishing lots of goals. No vacation plans, but who needs 'em? I'll use the money to paint the house.

Have a good one!

Be part of the solution

Happy Sunday! Or is it? The weather is about as beautiful as it can be, but my heart is in shambles. Why, you may ask....well, here goes.....

As readers know, I write this blog to update family and friends on the happenings of the kids especially the big guy who has a big dream. I write from the perspective of a mother,daughter, sister, friend, cousin, aunt, and community member. Regular readers understand or try to understand my point of view from these angles. I try to use humor and self-deprecation when describing events that lead to the achievement of goals and dreams. 'Cause, as you know, the road is rocky and we stumble over and over....and with that said, let me share the events of the morning.....

The sun was shining at 6:30 am and dad and I got ready for 7:30 am mass at our church. We have been members of the parish since we moved to this town 25 years ago. I have attended weekly and sometimes daily events at the church depending on the activities. I coached volleyball and basketball. The kids played on the sports teams and attended religious education. The congregation was young and we had lots of friends. At one point, the pastor asked me to be a member of the building committee to ascertain the need for an elementary school which I was wildly in favor. This was a no brainer, I was going to use my powers of persuasion and research skills to set the table for the new school. And with a number of meetings, town gatherings, and surveys, we were given permission to conduct a series of fund raisers and we were able to earn enough money to build the school. What a wonderful time in the parish's life as we watched it grow from services in the local middle school cafeteria to a church, rectory, and school. It was amazing to be part of something that would not only serve the mission of the church but would be instrumental in building a solid community. The pastor and I were friends and always greeted each other warmly knowing that together we helped to build something that was good. It was the foundation to serve individuals at all times of their lives....baptisms, communion, confirmation, penance ceremonies, and funerals. The parish and its members did it all under the leadership of our pastor.

With that said, when the bishop was in church this morning, I was a little startled. The big guy never stops by the church unless there is a confirmation and this was simply early mass. Or was it?

As we sat in our seats, he began to read a prepared statement which had us in a state of disbelief. it seems that our beloved former pastor who retired a few years ago and has his name on the school cafeteria has admitted to sexual misconduct with a minor 40 years ago. At the age of 77, I suppose he needed to "come clean" with his own confession. With a audible gasp from the early morning crowd, the bishop left the church and the new pastor stood before us in tears. He was not the only one to have to compose himself. Many of the parishioners began to sob. Others wiped away their tears. I sat in utter confusion and witnessed the priest in the pulpit stand before us unable to continue as his heart was broken.

He could not continue and needed a few minutes to compose himself. He announced that there were counselors and other ministers available for individuals who needed help processing the information. At this point, I am still numb and trying to figure things out in my own way, so here goes....

There is evil in our world and we are constantly doing battle trying to do the right thing. As I tell the kids and my students: "The right thing to do is often the hardest." Therefore combating bad decision making is something that we all struggle with in our lives.

I am dumbfounded that a man of the cloth could heinously perform any sadistic act on a child. Further, there is no excuse for this madness. As adults, we are to protect not only our own children, but the children of the world. Feed, clothe, soothe, comfort, and teach....are just a few of the roles that we have when entrusted to the development of a child. No where is there a statement that says: "By the way, take advantage of the powerless and the innocent...."...."Go and ruin their lives with moments of madness....." No one has permission to take away the innocence of a child...no one....

Is this sordid phenomenon restricted to the clergy? Nope. Last week a 47 year old swimming coach was arrested for meeting one of his swimmers at a motel, giving her beer, and ......(you know the rest....I cannot even type what happened).

I do not know what is going on in our world, but I need to be more vigilant, less naive, and more observant. I have the privilege of  moving in multiple circles and if I cannot be part of the solution, then I am part of the problem. My vow is to never be duped by someone who hides behind a title or position. Anyone can be a predator and pedophile and it is up to us as global citizens to confront it when we suspect something is happening. Did I know that this pastor had these proclivities? Absolutely not! According to this statement, the incident occurred 40 years ago. Nothing since? Really? Hmmmm....

As global citizens, I encourage each reader to educate themselves, watch and take care of the vulnerable. We have a mandate to love one another and that does not mean when it is convenient for us. This means all of the time.....

Do I blame the church at all? Tough question.....today the answer is "no" since I believe that the church is bigger than a few misguided, sick individuals. Therefore, I will continue to practice my faith AND will be more vigilant. I m not sure what I can do except watch and pray, yet as I saw a friend is Starbucks after mass, she was still crying. We stood there just looking at each other. I had nothing to say, 'cause I was still speechless. But I vow that I will look for ways to be involved in the prevention of child abuse of any form. I am not sure how since I am still in a state of shock, but somehow....some way.....BP mom is on the watch.....a community activist and someone who has to help to protect as many children as she can. I encourage all to be part of the solution too.

Adaptation

Coffee drinkers live longer lives according to the latest research. Who knew? Not only is it a beverage, but it was something discovered at the Fountain of Youth by Ponce de Leon. Mystery solved.

Drinking coffee is all I have right now that will keep me alive as having family under one roof this week may kill me. Kidding...no, not really...It is taking more than a week to be accustomed to having both former teenagers home who are acting like adolescents again as they acclimate to a home setting with a parent in charge. Tink and Buddy want to be in charge and make the rules yet not assume responsibility. What does this mean? Well....

It means that BP mom has to be more vigilant and more commando-like as she establishes order in this home. It means that Tink and Buddy must abide by my rules, pick up the slack and do chores, not sleep until noon, walk the dog, clean up their mess, and wash dishes. In the meantime, they will be granted as much food as they please, hot dinners on the table, a car at their disposal, and a fully equipped room to use. Without pitching in, they would be like boarders who do not pay rent and I become the domestic help cleaning up after messy people. Should I wear my old gold waitress outfit as I serve and clean up after them? It was quite fashionable in college with the matching white shoes and multi colored food stains.

Am I complaining? You betcha! This is a family, not a boarding house, therefore, everyone pitches in and has a role. Although, maybe they are not the only family members to figure it out. I think that I have to be more understanding too. After all, the big kid would work out, study, attend class, and go to bed at three in the morning. He has to readjust his schedule and way of thinking too. Tink just has to figure out that she is no longer an only child and has to continue to help her ole mama around the house.
I no longer want to spray End Dust on their heads as they park themselves for hours collecting dust and playing their video games and watching movies.

Ok, enough complaining.

Today is Big Sis's birthday. Happy birthday! She is the oldest of the 6 of us and paved the way for us with the folks. Unfortunately since I was child number 2, I did not have the benefits of the parents being worn out like number 6 did. However, Big Sis gave it her best shot. One of my favorite stories about her came from Big M, her high school sweetheart and hubby. Big M made us laugh as he shared the story of walking her (or actually) dragging her around the block when she was too inebriated to enter the family home when they were in college. he can point out the spots in the neighborhood where she would stop, vomit, move on, zig zag, stop, vomit, collapse and finally sober up before she met her curfew. Fun stuff, eh? Now that she is a young grammy, we can hold this story over her head as baby Cupcake grows and begins to ask stories about growing up together. Oh yeah, it will be fun watching her squirm a bit.

Although, I must admit, I was not an angel and was caught all the time. I was terrible at breaking rules and never got away with anything. Perhaps this is something that my kids have inherited. They are bad at being bad. I have lived too long and broke the same rules over and over, and nothing they do surprise me. I can actually anticipate their next move. It's like a chess game, except I actually have the advantage since I have played the game before many, many times.

And so, it is time to move on to physical therapy with the "Tank". He has thought of a number of exercises that I cannot believe are therapeutic. In fact, there were a few times when I asked him for the scientific evidence that strapping rubber bands around my thighs and ankles and making me walk or waddle down a long hall were going to strengthen my legs rather than make me fall on my face. There are times when I looked around the room looking for cameras, 'cause I am afraid that my therapy would go viral on YouTube.

With that note, I am off....literally...have a wonderful day!

Saturday!

Good morning! It's Saturday and the house is full yet quiet. Everyone is still in bed and I must say, that this is a pleasure. So, it is time to catch up on the latest news.

Yesterday, Buddy and I spent most of the the together running errands and visiting Cupcake. First, Cupcake is such a cutie. As Buddy asked me: "Aren't all babies cute?" Hmmmm, I had to think about that question. Sure, most babies are sweet, but are they all cute? I guess that the answer is: "It depends". It depends upon who defines cute. As far as I am concerned, each baby is a blessing and we are fortunate to have Cupcake in our lives. As Big Sis and I stared into the nursery for the first time, we were not sure which baby was ours. They all looked alike...sorry...but they did. Each one had the full cheeks and squished nose. There were no defining marks that said: "Look here...it's me....Cupcake!" Nope, we could not tell. Therefore, the answer to my son's question is "Yes", all babies are cute and precious....until you find your own, then they are the cutest!

Once the hospital visit was complete, the next phase was to run to the bakery to see Sparky. It seems that Buddy has found a summer job there and he begins to sell pastries today behind the counter. He's pretty excited about working with Sparky and the Baker and plans to learn all he can about the business. However, my advice to Baker is not to let him around your financial statements or count the revenue until he finally passes Finance 101.

As we chatted yesterday about the job, he was excited about learning all he could about baking. It seems that the 'uninformed' are teasing him about working in a bakery. Dude, when are you going to work out? How can you have a job and rehab? Looking ahead as I was driving ('cause I had to take the wheel back since he no longer reads the speed limit signs), he said something interesting....there are 24 hours in a day. If I work for 8 and sleep for 8, I have about 16 or so left to work out. Yeah, 16 or so is about right....See what I mean about finance? I believe that being able to count is an integral component to successfully passing the course.

Yep, it's good to have him home as we next drove to Target to buy new sheets for his bed since he ripped the last set. How does that happen? I asked.....dunno...one day my leg went through them. A new phenomenon....A sleeping guy whose legs are so strong that they burst through sheets...really? Is this possible? Are you saying that you did not get angry one night and take the energy out on your sheets? I am still wrapping my brain around this one. By the way, the kid announced that he has not done laundry since spring break....I am pretty sure that this was two months ago. Does this mean that he has enough pairs of underwear and socks to last 60 days? Ew...

While at Target, we loaded up on the items that he will eat while he is home. There was no need for laundry detergent since he brought it back with him. So, I left him to fill the cart with food that will satisfy a growing guy. My senses tell me that we will be back again on Monday to refill the pantry. The Southern Belle predicts that the food bill will double. I must disagree. The food bill will triple as will the gas and water bills. Let's not forget electricity too.

This weekend the baseball team is playing at an indoor major league field in the Midwest. California pitched last night with 40 MLB scouts in attendance with their radar guns. It seems that Buddy's room mate for the fall is a top prospect and if he is drafted, he will serve. Yep, he will pack his gear, glove, and dip so fast that he won't have time to drop off the key to retrieve his deposit for the house. The only sign that he was ever there would be the ripped sheets left on his abandoned bed. I wish him the best and hope that he gets what he wants. We will know during June's major league draft.

Off to accomplish some goals....have a good day!