Thursday, March 23, 2017

Movin on.....Jack of All Trades...Master of None

Good morning! It's an early one since dad woke the house up looking for his see.....

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With adult children living at home, they are less inclined to follow established rules such as don't borrow anything without replacing it....close garage door....walk dogs before they mess the floor.....close cabinets after opening them....close the freezer after removing a Skinny Cow ice cream bar.....pick up after others....keep a positive attitude and so on and so on and so on.....

Therefore, at 5 am, I decided to get out of bed and start my day since my sleep was disrupted by the missing razor.Image result for sloppy adults gif

What is going on? Well, I guess the adults around here...namely Tink and the big leftie no longer take ownership of property and people's possessions. They borrow or take...never replace....Image result for sloppy adults gif

Is it all bad?'s bad when dad has to borrow my pink razor to shave. He was not pleased and encouraged me to spend the extra dollar and purchase better quality ones. All's well....
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What else is new?

Well, work has kicked up in a big way. As some readers know, I am the editor of the department's magazine. It is published once and year and generally an arduous project because I have to beg people to write articles, take photos, and make my project their priority...which it is not. Therefore, I am left creating the entire magazine almost alone.

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This year with the budget crunch, I was told by marketing that the magazine was on hold. After 8 months of preparation and lots of work in it, the project was moved to the shelf and labeled....."dust collector..."

Just as I was exhaling, 'cause frankly I did my work and if it is not published, so be it.....I bumped into the Provost.

"How is the magazine coming?"

BPM: "Didn't you hear? It's on the shelf."

Angrily, "No, it is not. Get it moving for publication. I will find the money...."

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Crud....double crud....triple crud.....

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And so....we are back on AND I have a deadline....Crud....double crud....triple crud....Image result for working gif

Since there is no money for professional photography, I am carrying my camera around campus and snapping photos of poorly dressed and unprepared community members who scowl at me. Last year, I was told that my photos were terrible....this year I got the job because I have taken lots of birthday and holiday photos with my Nikon. Yep, my job qualifications are being a mom and snapping pix of the kids with cake on their faces. Hey, you never know when life events qualify a person for the big time.....I should add "mom duties for 28 years" on my resume....Related image

Let's see, I am qualified based on past experience as a:

nurse (boo boos, headaches, stomach viruses and vomit are attended to with a kind word or gagging)
chauffeur (I have logged thousands of miles in car pools)

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cleaning professional (cleaning up dog poo and pee plus pulling out the vacuum, dusting, and making beds)
plumber (I unclog toilets like lightening)
landscaper (I plant the flowers and weed.....)
carpenter (got my screw driver to tighten knobs on cabinets)
artist ( I color in the lines)
sculptor (check out my Play dough figures)
counselor (BP mom's attention is yours when you need it as well as the sentence "What are you going to do about it?")
bartender (we know what happens at 5p)Image result for working mom gif

secretary (Controlling schedules....except the time when I put Tink on the bus when she did not have school....that was bad)

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financial adviser (no, you cannot buy a Corvette with $98. 24.....)
mathematician ( I can figure out a tip with my trusty calculator)
singer (itsy bitsy spider is my signature song...kind of like Sinatra's New York, New York)
waitress and cook (yep, my recipe for noodle surprise has won lots of local awards....NOT!)
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With that said, I am also qualified as a personal shopper and have to get my body to the grocery store to buy some razors. I would like more than 5 hours of sleep tonight....

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Monday, March 20, 2017

Movin on....March Sadness

Hi! The thermometer hit 45 today and it feels balmy. The snow is melting and the car is coated with crud. You know what crud's the salt and dirt from the road making your car not only cruddy but grimy too.

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Anyway, not much going on....except....

Yep, this is my fault.....

I picked Villanova all the way as opposed to last year when I did not.
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They lost in the 2nd round thereby confirming my theory that it is all about me. If I had listened to the class and not selected them, they may have pulled it out. As it stands, my bracket is busted and I have to buy a cake for the class on Wednesday. Image result for march Madness gif

I vow that I will never participate in March Sadness gambling again....

Nor will I select a Fantasy Football team. My team last season came in last.

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Dead Last.

Carson Palmer was my quarterback. That says it all, right?Image result for fantasy footballs gif

Oh, I also had RG III. Again....what do I know? I called the team the "Avengers..." Yep, they avenged, all right.

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Sometimes I take BP Grandmom to Harrahs to play the penny slots. I take $20 and try to make it last 90 minutes. I walk away with 3 cents, she has over one hundred dollars burning a hole in her pocket that she won. I could learn from her. Maybe, I should let her pick my brackets next year.

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Maybe I stop gambling more raffles....lottery tickets.....sports betting....penny slots....


The only way to have money is to earn it, so I will get back to work.

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Friday, March 17, 2017

Movin on....Luck or mojo?

howdy! I am sitting in the waiting room as BP Grandmom is in the scan room. They are checking to see if her cancer is still gone. Prayers, please! She is amazing as she never complains....ever....not even when she stubs her toe. She has earned the right to complain about chemo and surgery, but does not. She is our role model....
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And so, I sit and type BP Mom movin on, since I do not feel like grading papers or prepping for class. You see....the Internet is full of amazing lectures. Why should I lecture when I can get Bill Gates, Warren Buffet, or the guy in the wheelchair (sorry, I can't remember his name, but the actor who played him in a movie won the academy know who he is....)?

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Yep, so I found a great lecture online that I will present in class. The students can fall asleep or buy shoes online while someone else speaks and not me.

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In yesterday's post, I mentioned that I had Villanova going all the way in the tournament. While watching the first half, I realized that (once again) I may have jinxed them. Me picking them means the kiss of death. Hopefully, I break my streak of being such a loser this year. As I agonized during the game last night, I thought about my good pal, Big Girl.....

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BG is 6 feet tall and totally athletic. She can dunk a ball and was a college volleyball player. She coerced me into coaching elementary school volleyball as I knew nothing about the sport. Did I say 'nothing"? I meant less than 'nothing' knowledge of volleyball was there is a round white ball that one hits over the net. That's it. Nothing else.

Yet, BG was so persuasive that I finally agreed and went on to win a few tournaments and championships once I figured out how to set the girls up so that the ball goes over the net and not backwards. Yes, these were the fun years.....

Back to BG....she once told me that she entered the family room while her husband was watching the Philadelphia Eagles play football and sat in the lounge chair. Immediately, they fumbled the ball. He shouted at her "Get out of here. You are wrecking the game."
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She got up and left.

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I said to her:" I did not know that your bottom was so powerful."

She smirked.

"Look at the power that you hold just by sitting in the lounge chair. Harness your powerful butt for good and not evil and we will have peace on earth...all thanks to your bottom."

Sounds silly, right? Well, BG and her superstitious husband are no longer married. Gee, I wonder why?

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Yet, I have the same superstitions as does any other person. Do I think that my March Madness bracket will be the determining factor of who wins or loses?

Nope. Yet, there is a strange correlation of my picks and the teams that lose. Just sayin......coincidence? maybe not....

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As a tennis player, I never had a pre game strategy before playing. Perhaps I would have won more.

The Big Leftie had a few and gave BP Grandmom the tee shirt that he wore before his pitching wins. Is there good mojo there? Hmmmm....she wore it during her chemo treatments and as of this morning, she has been clear. It has been a few months so...maybe....just maybe.....But cancer is a formidable opponent. I pick BP Grandmom in this bracket. Image result for grandmother wins gif

OK, gotta go. This laptop is burning a hole in my thighs as it heats up.

Enjoy the day!

PS: Steven Hawkings is the genius whose name escaped me.

Thursday, March 16, 2017

March Madness....movin' on

Good almost afternoon. Sorry about the missing post from yesterday but it was a work day, so I had to prioritize and choose work over the blog. I guess one would say that is a bit of know....making good decisions rather than poor ones....which leads me to leadership class yesterday.

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As many know, this is one of my specialties since my doctorate focused on leadership. For those who do not know me, I am sure that you are shocked that I have a doctorate. Sure, as a youngster, I used to think that a PhD meant a person was a brainiac. Well, let me dispel this rumor. Except for BD (who is a brainiac), I rarely tell folks that I have extra education......PhDs do not get respect. How so?

fade to black.......Image result for leadership gif

I am standing at one of the Big leftie's high school baseball games. It was a chilly day with a bit of a breeze (not a breeze....there was a bone chilling wind.... It was COLD!). Anyway, the first baseman's  mother walked up to me.

"I hear you are a doctor....."

BPM: "I am not a medical doctor. I have a doctorate."Image result for mean lady gif

Mother: "Oh, I thought you were a real doctor...." as she walked away.....oh, chilly......Cold, man, cold.....

Yes, I think I disappointed her because I did not go to medical school. Yet, let me assure you that I had as much education as a MD and suffered through a multitude of insufferable professors and classes.....I don't complain. It is the reality of my life. And so, I do not tell people that I went to school longer than their children combined. I loathe the look that I am's kind of a pity look.....Oh too could have been a medical doctor.

Yes, I could have been, but chose not to....which brings me back to leadership class......Image result for leadership gif

My Wednesday leadership class is full of seniors for two hours. They think that it is a cake class, but let me assure is.....

Anyway, we watched a webinar on incivility for the first hour with a decent discussion afterwards. I enjoyed it. Then I noticed that I had 20 minutes left in the class. I could not let them go early, since accrediting bodies frown on it. So I had a few minutes to spare. Not wanting to start a topic and not finishing it, I did the next best thing.....

I pulled out my bracket for March Madness and had the class choose my picks. Image result for leadership gif

Picture this.....I am such a loser when it comes to gambling that I don't bother. If I had put a blindfold over my eyes and threw a dart at the teams, I would stand a better chance than if I thought about it.

And so, the discussion started with.....

"We are picking the teams as a team, therefore we debate the merits of each pick. If I win the pool, we will celebrate with cake."Image result for leadership gif

Now, motivation theorists would have a great deal to say about my strategy,  but the students were cool with it. After all, one student commented..."hey, this is about cake..." Take that, smarty pants theorists....Maslow and Herzberg! Bring in cake and they will jump through basketball hoops.

Back to the picks.....

Round one.....
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Villanova...naturally. I am a homer....

Duke....Why? Well, they are Duke.....Image result for picking march madness brackets gif

UNC...why? One girl likes the blue uniforms....

Gonzaga....No...hate the name....

Marquette....Love the name....

One student in the back was so bored that she almost fell asleep. No cake for her.

Kansas....they are good.... the uniforms.....

Iowa....Iowa? huh?

Notre Dame....Don't bet against God's teamImage result for picking march madness brackets gif

And we spent 20 minutes debating our picks with Villanova winning it all....which means.....sorry 'nova fans.....I am always wrong....Image result for picking march madness brackets gif

With our final pick, I promised them cake even if we lose. What does this mean for this group? After all, they grew up in the generation where they were awarded participation trophies just for showing up (which they continue to remind me that it was my generation that started the trend). Image result for leadership gif

I suppose the answer is that I am rewarding them for the help in choosing my teams, staying focused on our task (except for the girl in the  back) and cake is the universal thank you and NOT a participation trophy.Image result for picking march madness brackets gif

On to work.

Go 'Nova!Image result for villanova gif


Tuesday, March 14, 2017

Movin on...a snow day!

Good morning! it's a snow day and I could not be happier. This means that we are all in one place at one time. Although.....

Dad tried to sneak out and go to the office this morning. I thought that he was nuts...but this is what he is all about. And so....what happened? Wellll....he never made it two feet out of the garage when he got stuck. Yep, he did not make it out of the garage and had to push the car back into place. Then he grumbled something about Mother Nature having a meltdown and sauntered into his home office for the rest of the day....Image result for mother nature+hold my beer

This is sort of good news. As I was performing my morning K...reading the online feeds....getting my head ready for the day, he walked out of the office and looked at me sitting on the sofa. "What are you making for lunch?" Mind you, it is 7:55 am.
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His next question was "What about an afternoon snack?" Is he kidding me? perhaps....

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The last question before I almost threw my tablet at him was "What's for dinner?"

My morning ritual was completely disrupted, I was feeling a bit cranky and knew that this snow day was not going to be as peaceful as I had originally planned, especially if he comes looking for me as I work in my office. For those of you who have to go into a zen place in the morning, you know what I mean.

I saw a funny post on one of the feeds that folks in the northeast may appreciate:
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Back to my snow day. This could be the best day of the week...if....we keep power. You know...electricity...yes and internet.....

There are several things that I could accomplish if I have the out a closet or three....and bake.Image result for clean room gif

The first few are typical of my day but the cleaning out the closets is becoming necessary as my adult children continue to live in the childhood bedrooms. It's OK, I love having them here until they are ready to leave BUT they are a mess.

When I say "mess", I mean dorm room messy. Not girl dorm room messy with shoes and clothes on the floor, I mean guy messy.
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What do I mean by "guy messy"? Use your imagination... Answer the following questions:Image result for clean room gif

If and when you were in college....

After finishing a beer or Red Bull, you would:
A. crumple the can and drop it in the recycle container
B. Rinse it out and drop it in the recycle container
C.Gently place it on the counter, then drop it in the recycle container.
D. Drop it on the floor and walk around it for 5 weeks.

If you answered "D", you are living in my home.

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Next question:

How many half drunk water bottles do you need on your bedside table?
A. One
B. None. I use a glass and  not bottled water
C. Twelve
D. Eleven plus the ice cream cone wrappers to cover the entire table

If you answered C or D, you are living in my home.
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The last question....

How many tee shirts do you need:

A. Seven; one for each day of the week.
B. Fourteen: Two a day if I am exercising
C. None.
D. 90: crumbled on the floor jammed into the closet

If you answered "D", welcome home, honey! Where have you been?

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Yep, that is my home. Most of it is pristine (I am allergic to dust) and the rest is hidden behind the secret doors where Tink and the Big leftie hide.

And so...fortified with coffee and determined to make a dent in the dust, dirt, crumpled shirts, underwear, and socks that are hidden under beds and in closets, I will hand a garbage bag to each resident and ask them to fill them up.

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Will I succeed?

Nah....they will look at me, grab the bag and drop it on the floor with the promise that "I'll get to it..."

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Yep, I guess I will get to my work now....stay warm and safe out there.