Thursday, February 2, 2017

Movin' On....down I 95

Good morning! It's a dawn until late at night day and I am caffeinated and ready to move on. I hope that all is well in your world.
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The last post, I mentioned that we had cancelled the trip to the south to interview at a law school in North Carolina. It didn't seem like a good idea given the school's recent stats on passing the bar. It was almost a unanimous decision between the big kid and me...then it happened. Dad spoke up. Trouble.....

He logically suggested that the kid should have all of his data before arguably making one of the biggest decisions of his life. Crud. I knew that he was right, so did the future lawyer....and so.....

Fade to black......

Since he had to work until late on Sunday, we left the house at 4 am , pointed the car south, and headed to the first opened Starbucks on I95. It took about 7+ hours to get to the school with a another stop for more caffeine, but we made it. Fortunately, we had XM radio and rocked down the highway.

Since we were early for the 2 pm appointment and able to find a nice lunch at an Irish pub in town. After lunch, it was off to another Starbucks to grab yet more caffeine, plug into Wifi for work, and change clothes. That's right. he changed out of his sweats into a black suit and red tie in the Starbucks bathroom. No one questioned what he was doing as he ran back and forth looking in the mirror and making sure that he looked polished and unwrinkled. While he was primping, I answered emails.

 "Does my tie look straight?"

Not looking up....."yep"

"Is my suit wrinkled?" Press send....."nope"

"Is this the right tie for the suit? I have two others in the car?".... "Perfect"

"How is my shirt? Is it too big?"..."Nope"....

"Does my hair look ok?" ...."Hair is perfect"

We went on like this for ten minutes until he was satisfied that he looked like a future millionaire lawyer. I then suggested that he take the car and leave me at Starbucks to work and drink iced unsweetened green tea.

"No, I would rather you drove." It was about two miles from the coffee shop so I packed up and drove to the law school. Finding an amazing parking space in the front of the building, I decided to sit in the car and grade papers while he went in for the interview. We went over different questions and answers and he was confidently prepared.

"Go, knock 'em out...." and then he left the shambles...since his clothes, shoes, and stuff were in the back seat. It looked like a locker room.

As I sat in the car reading papers, I looked up and then I saw it. It was an amazing sight. I felt my world move.
My little boy...the kid who cried when his baseball games were rained out by yelling at God: "Why God? Why does it have to rain today?"

The kid whose backpack was once bigger than him.....

The little boy who ran away from home and did not make it past the next door neighbor's house since he was not allowed to cross the street.

The teenager who was asked to the prom with a sign at a baseball game.

The guy who was embarrassed by his folks at a baseball dinner.

My room mate in Ohio for one summer....I still  hold a grudge that Starbucks would not even interview me for a barrista job.....

And lastly, the college graduate who worked hard all of his life to achieve his MLB goal and whose life was derailed by a hip impingement.....

There he was on the corner in his slightly wrinkled suit (I lied to him) with the mismatched tie (Lied again), and the shirt that was way too big (another white lie)...he was almost unrecognizable. Oh my goodness, my little boy was a young man.

And I was floored by what I saw. In his suit, he could have fit in anywhere. He looked almost GQ (needing a steamer to remove the wrinkles). Man, oh man.....he is a man. I must be old with a son who is a man and a daughter who is a woman. Thank goodness for the least they are keeping me young.

As I flashback to the days when I held the little boy for the first time and called him my little buddy, walked by the mirror to see an unrecognizable face at 2 am while soothing his crying little newborn body around his bedroom, and dropping him off at elementary school.... I now realize...that....

I am done.

BP Mom is no longer BP a sense....I am more of BP advisor....BP friend....BP confidant....but can I turn the mothering/smothering off? Stay tuned....I think that there is a process to turning off the inclination to wipe my children's noses, fix their hair, and remind them to brush their teeth and wash their hands. It is time for me to step back even though I don't want to.....
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I may need a hobby or five...or ten to distract me. I have to let go....sniff.....Is there a manual or brochure to help me to back off? A website, perhaps? Therapy?
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Have a good day.


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