This guy stinks and other synonyms

Good afternoon....guess where I am? Yep.....if your guess is the mountains, you are absolutely correct!

I drove to campus today to render some support for my injured pitcher. Before I left, Betty sent a link to an article about a surgeon in my backyard who is the best in the business. More about him later....

Equipped with this knowledge and a grande iced green tea (unsweetened from Starbucks), I hit the open road with my car that still hesitates upon acceleration. Last week I brought it to the dealer who said "uh, nothing wrong here...." Now, I have another appointment next Wednesday to take it back.

Anyway, I sipped my iced tea and put the cruise control on in the car and started listening to some decent tunes when dad called.



"Are you ready for this one?"

Sure.....let me take another sip.....go ahead....



"Your son had breakfast with one of the freshman pitchers today."

K.....got some news about what they ate?

"They were talking about the big game next week against the team that your kid beat last year. You know, the nationally ranked team. The coaches sent him out to the mound to lose, yet he won."

Yep, I remember that one. I was there...I was cold....I was thrilled for the big guy as he dominated and on the way home, Tink and I grabbed an ice cream bar at a gas station to celebrate.



"Well, Psycho had been recruiting the kid who had breakfast with your son today and called him the day after the game. Here is the pitching coach's words to the recruit: 'yeah, we won a big game last night which surprised us 'cause the kid who pitched for us sucks.' "

Today, the frosh was shocked to hear that the winning pitcher last year who according to the coaches 'sucked' was the big lefty. In other words, Psycho threw him under the bus while trying to impress the recruit.

According to dad the lefty just laughed.

Yeah. I laughed all right. As I sipped my iced green tea (unsweetened), it spewed out of my mouth onto the windshield of the car.

Sucked, huh? Sucked? Really? Sucked?

It makes me sick and snicker. These guys would not know a quality player if he bit them in the butt. Just sayin'

Anyway, since that start, the suck-y pitcher has gone on to have the lowest era on the team and this year....no walks!

I just sigh...and keep typing.....

The mri is over and in  a few minutes, I have to go to the hospital to get a few copies for a second and third opinion.

Speaking of second opinion, Betty sent the information about the surgeon who is the best in the business or repairing sports hernias. Naturally, he is our guy. However, the big kid spoke to Yoda today about his injury. According to Yoda, this surgeon is the "Michael Jordan of Sports Hernia repairs." This is good news.

Now for the bad news...this doctor does not take health insurance according to Yoda. OK, Yoda, I am hoping that you are wrong about this fact. However, if he isn't wrong, I will have a big bill. Really big.....That's a great deal of change to find in the cushions of the sofa. Even more so, if I do BP mom math and get a second job as a barista in Starbucks, I could come up with the money in a few years...or decades....

Yeah. There goes the retirement fund....although, Yoda is a crafty one....He suggested that the university pays for it, since it is the third injury under their supervision.

Ahh, Yoda, time for BP ma's special cheesecake for you. How about chocolate?

Any way a person looks at it, the kid is out for a period of time. he is now accepting of the time off the mound and is no longer  angry. He is even philosophical as this injury may prevent him from more permanent injuries under these coaches and trainers. He can't work out anymore, so he cannot sustain any more injuries...ah, the silver lining.

After he limped back to the car, he said that his hips are out of alignment which is probably due to his body compensating for his groin injury. Sigh.

My last thought of the day is that you should read the Verducci article on the Texas ranch. He clearly makes a claim that this is the future of training pitchers. Uh huh....the information that my son tried to bring to the coaching staff and he was called a loser and ruined by the Pitching ranch....yet Tom Verducci claims the opposite after investigating the Pitching Doctor's technique.

Moral of this story: When presented with new information, review it, research it, but first read it with an open mind.

Perhaps there will be fewer injuries and a few more victories.

Off to the mri center......

Peace!

Perfect Dog Day 1.0

Good morning! I have not posted for a few days for a few reasons. The biggest reason was that our BP Grandpop was rushed to the hospital. When BP Pop is in, so are we. In fact, within 40 minutes of his admission, the rest of the siblings were standing next to the folks offering support and humor. Even in stressful situations, we find ways to crack each other up. After 24 hours, he was released and brought home to hang out with BP Grandmom and Betty. OK, Pop, let's make this the last for a few months. Right?

On to the perfect dogs...NOT! What the heck! I watched the first part of the video 8 times. Then it came time to work with the pups. Tink took one and I took the other. We separated them to minimize distractions. I took the quieter male to train thinking that this would be a breeze. Yep, I had the tools, my $100.00 DVD , leash, and collar. We are ready to go. Come on, little fella.....here we go...come to momma....walk with me....

Nice....

Not nice....



Hey, get up.....

Hey, this is not the way it is seen in the video...

Cut it out...



Don't bare your teeth to me....


Come on...please.....please....




Come on...let's get out of phase 1.....

We have 49 more commands to learn....

Please....pretty please....

@$*U%SJI(*&&(%O)

Done. I am done for today.....

And that is how it went....we are still in phase one.....Command 1 is still on the table because they refuse to cooperate. That's right. Who is the pack leader? Uh, obviously it is not me.

Although, I have to say, I am NOT giving up. This afternoon, we are starting again. And again....And again.....Although, I feel like I am hurting their spirit, but the DVD guy says: "No, the dog will thank you for training him."



Thank me, hmmmm...with flowers? Licks? A half eaten bone?

The reality is that I cannot move through the commands until they master the first. How long is this going to take as I drag the little guy across the floor with the leash? He sits down, then lies down, then ignores me...then I have to tug a bit....then tug again....then drag....He removes unaffected by my pleas and requests.....I am on the floor....I am making eye contact....I beg....but cannot offer a treat according to the video. Dang! I have to do this right...or do I?



If I offer a treat, he will follow me to the moon and back. But the DVD guy says "no treats".

Dang...double dang...triple dang.....


Time to open the boxed wine again. it has been collecting dust on the shelf for months. It might be a Merlot Moment again.....

How is the big lefty? Well, he has a scrimmage or bullpen or something like that today. So, he prepares the night before with Chinese food and a Jeremy Lin video. The food and Jeremy Lin are unrelated although I see a correlation, he does not.

And so, Jeremy inspires him as the food fortifies him. We will see if Jeremy and King or Kung Pao chicken work.

He called to share some more of the last mental training. Apparently there is a successful rugby team somewhere in the world. Before each game, the team dances together. Then they play and win their rugby match. Do they dance again after the match on top of the bodies of the defeated team? I am not sure, but let me tell you one or two things...

Dancing as a team will not improve performance. I believe excellence comes from practice, fundamentals,
 a commitment to excellence, and not doing the hokey pokey or Bunny Hop with the outfielders. How about dancing the Alley Cat? Remember that one? I recall dancing that one at weddings when I was a kid....perhaps I should share this new insight with my over 40 tennis team. The Ally Cat can bring back our youth. As we think young, we forget about our creaking knees, backs, and sore elbows....I like it. Perhaps the Czar is on to something.....

Gotta roll and mentally prepare for my dog training.

peace

Friday night mental toughness

Hi! I am down to the last two papers and cannot get motivated to grade them. I know...then I will be completely done...I know...what the heck? Can't get moving....Actually, I scheduled a massage today with the gift card that I got two years ago. I forgot about it then waited to treat myself after this last crazy six months....but I can't go until I finish the papers. Otherwise, it would not be a treat. Right? I am  such a head case. When I made the appointment, I was offered a masseuse named Darren. Darren? That's a guy, right? Where's Ingrid, a tall, muscular Swedish woman?

Darren sounded like he was a puppy. I do not want to be given a massage by someone who is my son's age. That would be the ultimate ikk factor. Ew. Right?

And so, I selected Tiffany. Yep. Tiffany. She is probably in her early 20's and she is going to have her hands full with my wiggly muscles.....OK, once a upon a time, I was cut, lean, and muscular. At this writing, I am a shade bit doughy. This should be relaxing....uh huh.....

The last time that I had a massage (about 6 years ago), I started to cough. I was breathing so deep that my lungs went into spasm since they are not accustomed to receiving oxygen at the bases. Normally, I breathe quickly and only fill half of the capacity. Anyway, I want to shower before I go....and grade those last two papers, so I have to be brief.....

I spoke with the big lefty today who gave me the run down for the day...class....break...class....bullpen....60 pitches....quick dinner...7:30 pm mental session.

What?

Yep, 7:30 on a Friday evening while in college, the entire team and staff have to sit for two hours listening to the Czar pontificate about the importance of keeping your focus and being mentally tough...while deep breathing, of course. Sheesh.....Two hours.....

Yesterday, while the kid was pitching, the pitching coach had the team stand around him to yell in his ears and scream as he threw. The point of the exercise was to throw him off and distract him. Guess what? He was not distracted and kept a razor-like focus and hit his marks. Impressive.....

Perhaps, this ability to concentrate can be attributed to these mental sessions. Then again, maybe not...after all, this pitcher is one dedicated guy and will stop at nothing to achieve his goals. So, a little chaos is not exactly a problem for him. After living in the dorms and house of mold, he has the ability to turn things on and off. How do I know? Well, he can certainly turn my voice off with a wink of his eye....did you get the car inspected? Did you pay your rent? Is there fresh oil in the car...don't drink and drive...study...go to church....
He probably hears "blah, blah, blah, blah, coming out of my mouth."


 Oh well, it's his loss. I told him my pin number to my debit card that he doesn't remember hearing...
Gotta go and finish....

Peace!~

The Dog Whisperer needs to make a house call! Stat!

Good morning...or is it? I am definitely in a foul mood. Why? I am not sure if you are ready for this post, but here is comes....

As regular readers know, Tuesdays are my longest days and I do not get home until 11 pm. I am actually cool with this schedule since it frees me up during the spring to chase the big guy all over the country.

However, this morning, I was close to breaking....why?

As you know, I adopted the cutest puppies in the whole world. They are happy, playful, and fairly responsive to commands. Last night at two am, they were whining, which essentially means that they have to be taken out. Ok, out of bed....robe on over the grey flannel pajamas...blanket over the robe....one puppy is taken from crate...taken out into the rain.....success...back into the house...puppy number two...taken from the crate....out into the rain.....success....back into crate...back to bed....

Two hours later....whining and barking...really? Really? really?

lumberjack flannel robe on....blanket over the robe and grey flannel pajamas.....hmm...they were so good a few hours ago, I think that I will take them out together in the rain, chill, and middle of the night.

Question: What was I thinking?

Answer: I was not thinking because I was still asleep in the middle of the night as I took the puppies out together without a leash. As they got outdoors, they looked at each other and took off.....Really puppies? really? now? really?

And so, I took off to catch them with my blanket over my flannel robe and my ripped untied Sperrys on my feet. All I could think of was that there are skunks, foxes, and owls out there and the puppies are not yet 4 pounds. In fact, they are an appetizer.

Question: What does a person do?

Answer: RUN! And I did with my blanket and ripped shoes and the mud beginning to splash onto the bottom of my grey flannel pajamas. I could not yell for them, because I did not want to wake any neighbors, have them look outside, and throw a net over my head.

So, I ran....almost caught up with one.....slipped.....they ran more toward the front of the neighbors house....and did the unthinkable as I approached them....

They barked and barked and barked as I whispered to them:

"Stop! Come! Listen to me. $%#((%%32!!!!!"

Now my hidden fear was realized, people were looking  out at the tiny barking dogs and crazy woman covered with mud, drenched, and running after them in the rain.



Ok, the story ends well. I caught the girl first, then the boy. AS I ran back to the house, the mud on their paws came off onto my wet blanket.

I was furious....went back to bed.....got back into an amazing dream about a beach....margarita......palm trees.....and then it happened.....

At 7 am, dad trying to be nice to me, took the pups out and they took off too. I could hear his shouts and ran to get my sweat pants. AS he walked into the house with the muddy pups, he could only say "Your children have behavioral issues."

And here is where I sit...typing about my most excellent adventure with the dogs in their crate and mud on my robe, blanket, and pajama legs.  The hair is sticking up. The face is contorted.

Have I made any tactical mistakes since I adopted the pups?

Oh yeah...many...but guess what?

In January, all fun comes to an end. I am going to contact some dog whisperer or a doggie drill Sargent and we are going to tackle this problem head on. There will be no lame Pet Smart dog training.




Nope, I am going to find the General Patton of the canine world. These pups are going to learn manners.



Now it is time to take the puppies out again and they will be leashed and attached to my sweat pants string.



And so you have it.....my life....cold, wet, dirty, and unpredictable.



Peace!

No crying in baseball

Gang...I am so sorry that I have not posted in a while. Life has a habit of getting in the way of plans. It is also full of unpredictable events. The aforementioned effects are wreaking havoc in my life. For example, I forgot to include Chill in an invitation to Thanksgiving. How could I do that? Hmmmm.....Next, as I ran to work yesterday, I looked in the car rear view mirror and noticed two earrings that did not match...were not even close to matching. On the right, I wore a pearl earring....on the left was a pretty gold love knot from Florence Italy given to me by BP Grandmom.....It was at that point that I accepted life the way it was at the moment and plowed through the day....



Speaking of BP family, we had a amazing weekend as we celebrated the nuptials of a cousin on a farm in Lancaster County, PA. The view and venue were beyond compare. The hospitality offered by my cousin was far beyond anything Martha Stewart could muster. It was the most elegant and sophisticated wedding I have ever attended...then I thought of what Tink's wedding would look like...a little roast pork or beef with sharp provolone on Italian kaiser rolls, baked ziti (full fat ricotta cheese not the fat free stuff), chips, spinach salad, bananas, cake (naturally), cheese and crackers....let's not forget the boxed wine....Big Sis could take the wedding photos and I will run to the outlets to find the dress befitting the mother of the bride....we can use the iPod shuffle for dancing....yep...a BPM wedding...now all she needs is the groom....not that she is looking and is happy to take care of the puppies......thank goodness, since they are wearing me out....more about the twins later....

Back to the wedding....I think there were about plus or minus three hundred people...yep....then I heard that one of my favorite authors was there....yeah, that's right....one of my top three.....actually, she moved from number 2 to number one on Sunday night....who was it? None other than the incomparable Lisa Scottolline!



That's right! She is the cousin of my cousin's husband...sort of making us cousins...sort of...in an Italian sense....Anyway, Big Sis introduced herself to LS at the bar as I stood behind her grabbing some kind of red drink. I am unsure about what was in it, but at the time, it seemed like the right thing to do. As I saw Big Sis and LS chatting. I started jumping up and down mouthing "Introduce me!!!! Puh-leeze!"

You know the story about the mismatched earrings? Well, this one is probably worse as I looked like I was seizing as the two women chatted about the beauty of the farm. Finally, the moment of truth came and I met my hero....

Why is she my hero? Well, if you have never read her books, there are some predominant themes that I love such as:
1. The protagonist is a strong professional woman
2. She has the support of a friend who never waivers or runs when the going gets tough
3. She stays true to her heritage
4. Her portrayal of elderly parents and friends is spot on accurate and with great respect.
5. Oh yeah, she is a Philly girl who has never forgotten her roots.

With that said, she is beyond nice and gracious and did not make me feel like a total dweeb. We had a nice conversation then parted as I went back to dad to fill his plate with appetizers. Although he was a bit disappointed that there were no pigs in a blanket on the trays, he still had a nice time. Sadly, he has a huge deadline this week and we left before dessert. That's accurate and probably unbelievable for me...no dessert.....Weight Watchers would be so proud of me....unless we consider the two portions of gnocchi that I had since Big M was not feeling like eating them.... they were created like little clouds....I was in heaven....



Oh, have I forgotten to mention the big guy? How is he doing? Well, he is fluctuating from elation to somberness. He has still not paid his tuition and is flourishing in fall ball. He thought that he had the Friday night spot wrapped up. Until.....there is always an 'until' with this guy.....



Until, Fudge had a terrific outing last Friday. Now he thinks that Friday starts are in jeopardy....Dude, you gave up three runs in 6 weeks...your fast ball is fast...your slider is hitting its marks....I think that you are fine BUT what do I know?

I don't have too many campus stories today although the pressure has gotten to one of the freshmen and he had to leave campus after an anxiety attack. As far as I know, the Big Lefty vowed not to make fun of the guy anymore. Hmmm.....how sensitive...

He tried to call me today but I was in class. So, he did what any other guy would do...he texted me. The message was that the Czar is requiring the entire team to write another 5-page paper due on Friday. Yes, that's right. The baseball coach has decided to pile on more work to these exhausted guys and make them write an essay on something critical in their development as ball players. ....At the team meeting that he held after the freshman went home for anxiety, he launched into how tough he has had it over the years and his battle with depression in his late 20's. Once again, he turned a teachable moment for a bunch of lugheads into an 'all about me' diatribe.

And so, I sit with papers and projects to grade as well as puppies to train. Did I mention that the male needs 'extra' attention? No, well...he does...I took him on a long walk.....brought him into the house and as I took the leash off him, he piddled a puddle on the floor that I just scrubbed (on the knees....yep the knees....).

With that said, I have a mountain of papers as well as a bunch of phone calls to get to...as George Carlin says:

"Some people see things that are and ask, Why? Some people dream of things that never were and ask, Why not? Some people have to go to work and don't have time for all that."

Peace!