Friday, December 5, 2014

Man versus ant

Good morning. I am sorry for not posting but something nasty hit ole BP mom and knocked her off her feet. In fact, I had my first cup of coffee in days today, which tells ya something or happy hour this Christmas cookies...just soup...crackers....tea...gingerale....yuk. My bathroom and I bonded over this experience....'nuf about me....

How is the big guy? Well, if I said that he is a man on a mission, what would you say? I think that you would agree....three days ago, he called in a panic....

"Mom, there are millions of ants in my apartment. It is disgusting...."

Uh huh. No surprise. I know his habits...left over wrappers on the floor....gator ade bottles left on counters and at bedside. Dude, you are ant magnet. I am surprised that I have not heard the 'r' word (ie 'roach'). Nevertheless, he was dismayed.

Chuckling, I began a "Get rid of ants" tutorial from the coolness of my bathroom floor....

Picturing my lifeless body on the tile of the bathroom which cooled the heat that was emitting from the BP ma body, I had the phone propped on my ear.....I sounded a bit like Don and Sonny Corleone in the Godfather.....

"My son.....

Don Corleone: You can act like a man!
[gives a quick slap to the Big Lefty]

Don Corleone: What's the matter with you? Is this how you turn out, a Hollywood finocchio that cries like a woman? "Oh, what can I do? What can I do?" What is that nonsense? Ridiculous!

Sonny Corleone: [laughing] What are you gonna do? Nice college boy

Back to the ants....get cinnamon and sprinkle it around the entrance point.....kill the )&#%.  Get rid of the food sources...tah are ant free.....

That advice was given three days ago....sadly, there were 'millions and millions of ants'! Doesn't it sound like a horror film?

"They are everywhere!"

Ok, this means you have to clean the apartment. The definition of 'clean' according to Websters Dictionary is:

as a verb:

make (something or someone) free of dirt, marks, or mess, especially by washing, wiping, or brushing.
"clean your teeth properly after meals"
synonyms:wash, cleanse, wipe, sponge, scrub, mop, rinse, scour, swab, hose down, sluice (down), disinfect; More

 I also mentioned that the word 'clean' is a noun and adjective. And so, the tutorial continued.....

"Go online and look up safe remedies to exterminate vinegar and water...."

And so, the man was on a mission as he exterminated and annihilated the little critters.  Hey, he invited them into his apartment for dinner. Leaving food out and on the counters is an invitation to stop by unexpectedly.

And now, it is day three of ants in my pants and they continue to work their way into his world.

This morning he shared the fact that he 'cleaned' the apartment with vinegar and water and now it smells....he is working on eliminating the entire ant population out of spite.

And with that said, I lie back on my tile floor and smile...

It can be said that sending a child to live at college makes them grow up in a way that would not happen if they lived at home. And this sentiment is absolutely true. My son has not only learned how to write but kill ants....and best yet....clean his environment.

I think that I can place my head on the tile, cool down, and enjoy the fact that this expensive college experience has been worth the angst and agony over the past 5 years. My parting words to him were: "If I find one ant in your bedroom, you will be on notice......"

And now....back to my sweats and chills....Tink asked me last night if I got a new hair cut. "No, Tink, I have not brushed my hair in a few the new look?"

I'm in a stupor ...signing out....


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