Tuesday, January 10, 2017

Movin' on...a really big loser

Good morning! We officially began our BL contest last night, but had to be weighed and measured first. I was honestly taken back when I saw that I did not gain the weight back from last year's loss. In fact, I stayed the same. You could have knocked me out with a one pound weight while I stood on the scale with my eyes partly closed and almost all of my clothes off (they add extra pounds to the scale). I cannot offer any advice on how to do this since I had no clue since I have absolutely no willpower.
Yesterday afternoon, Tink knocked a pizzelle out of my hands. Since she is my weight loss partner, I sort of agreed with her passion. However, last night, I smelled potato chips on her breath! Yep! Busted! Where did you get those chips?
I cleaned the house out of all junk type foods (except pizzelles. Tink made a batch for Betty on Sunday and we had a few leftover). Dang, I have to check her car for contraband. After all, the prizes for the weight loss is cash!

Yes, I said cash....what would I do with this cash prize?


fade to black.....

Last week, we received a bid on the landscaping for the southern house. We need trees removed and replanted. We also need sod, plants, and for the place to be overhauled. We also need a new driveway, stairs, and the pool filled in. My secret desire is to have a firepit and little waterfall. Too much? Well.......

The bid came in. I landed on the floor without a pillow when I saw the estimate. Folks, the bid was more than what I make in a year as a full time tenured professor. Where did I go wrong in life? All of this extra education and I should have gone into the landscaping business in the south.

Do I give up my firepit? Waterfall? Driveway? plants? Trees? Eating?

Naturally, this bid has to be addressed because we could feed a tiny impoverished nation for this amount of money and have left over cash to buy Lotto tickets. Dad and I have to have a serous talk with the landscaper and let him know that we are not from Mayberry and understand that he is not planting a money tree in the backyard. I would take care of things myself (right), if there were no snakes, but honestly, I am a coward. Just the thought of a poisonous snake or two gives me a shiver up my spine and renders me motionless.......Image result for snakes gif

Fade to black......

A long time ago....and I mean a loooong time ago, Dad, Big Sis, Big M and I went to the Grand Canyon. It was beautiful. We stupidly decided to walk to the Colorado River not knowing that there would not be a McDonalds or Burger King along the path to buy beverages and maybe some chicken nuggets. Anyway, we ran out of water one mile into our 7 mile hike. Stupid, yes?

As we continued toward the river, we stopped moving downhill and were on flat ground with cacti and tumbleweeds. We were dragging but would not give up until we got to our destination.....Then I heard it......sssssss.....rattle rattle.....Related imageHey, I watched those animal Disney shows and Mutual of Omaha shows on TV. I knew what those sounds meant. You don't need a PhD to figure that one out. Suddenly, I had a burst of energy and ran for my life in a zig zag manner.
Afterall, doing my research via television, I knew that you can outrun a snake if you run zig zag rather than in a line. So, thre I scampered....zigging and zagging....zagging and zigging...expending whatever fluids I had left in my body. We made it to the Colorado....looked at it and started back. As we trudged through the flat portion again, my energy returned and I ran again....looking like I had had a box of wine before the journey.
Dad, Big Sis and Big M laughed so hard. They would have wet their pants from laughing if they had not bee so dehydrated. Anyway, we pulled ourselves to the top of the mountain trying to flag down a helicopter to pick us up. None stopped. We were on our own....As you probably figured out, we made it to the top again and vowed never...and I mean never...will we try such a challenge again without a donkey to get us down and up again.

Back to the trees and plants....Honestly, I have no clue what to do but cut out the diamond encrusted palm trees .....Stay tuned.....as bids come in, this is going to get even more interesting.....Let's see, sofa change....selling blood....sell my hair.....take the bus to work....eat Cheerios for breakfast, lunch, and dinner....that's all I have. Time to consult Suzie Orman, right?Image result for suze orman gif

Gotta run. We have step class this morning and I am going to have to catapult Tink out of bed.


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