Tuesday, July 26, 2011

Advice from unlikely sources

Good Morning! I just ran my early morning errands and stopped at my Starbucks for my tall Pike. As you know, I applied for a job as a barrista, read the CEO's book called Onward, and think that I am a qualified candidate for a job. I even order my coffee with accurate S-buck's vernacular: "Tall pike with room for cream..." I have what it takes to be successful behind the counter....I love coffee....I love music...I like people (most...)...I can stand for long periods of time....I can even add with a calculator or cash register. So, when I did not even get to interview for a job, I figured that they did not need anyone....boy, was I wrong! For the last 5 days, I have noticed a new person each time I walk in (doing the math, which I can do = 5 new hires this week alone). True, they are friendly and competent...but come on...I really wanted to work there. I have the tools...I can be friendly too...really friendly...smile even as I pour a cappuccino or suggest certain iced teas. I would be like Coach in Cheers...friendly, goofy, and accurate with advice. I could have been the Dear Abby or Dr Drew of Starbucks as I nod my head in agreement or shake my head in disgust.... Obviously, this coffee shop does not need anyone with my unique skills. Therefore, I am going to have to keep my day job and dream of one day working (not owning) at my local coffee shop dispensing my own brand of BP mom advice.

Speaking of advice, I had an idea for a job that I never followed through on...when I started to work on my doctorate, I considered completing a degree in counseling. I would then buy a limousine, hire a driver, and pick up my clients at their homes. We would sit in the back, run their errands together, and I would be the therapist for the busy woman. I would market myself as "Therapist on Wheels". What do you think? I could franchise it like Two Guys and a Truck or Chipotle. I gave up my Therapist on Wheels dream when I looked at the number of credits that I would have needed to complete the degree. And, have you ever priced limos? That monthly payment plus my chauffeur would have buried me. And so, I took my talents elsewhere and only offer advice when asked. No one has to pay for it. It's free of charge (and no limo ride). And if someone needs a ride, they can sit in the front of my SUV while I dispense advice or counseling.

And so it goes, I will never be paid for giving advice, so I have to alter my goals a bit and focus on the current job, family, and friends.

For example, yesterday I heard from my pal, Ice (giving her a BPM 'shout out'...Hey, Ice!). She is a kindred spirit as her daughter has the same personality and drives that Buddy has (minus the MLB-thing). She gets it and understands the strangeness of our situation. What we are doing is not the norm. I certainly am not pushing my son to do this and she is not pushing her daughter. However, the way that we parent the kids is often questioned by outsiders who don't get it and like to make snide comments. Let them think what they want, each child has to be treated uniquely, and if one has the resources, helped to achieve their goals. Ultimately, the parent can open the doors and offer emotional support, but the kid does this on their own.

Ice understands the complexities of a budding athlete's mind as well as the important role that parents play in the development of the person. After reading the last few days of blogs, she suggested that I listen to two songs that are relevant to our situation. One song was written by Darrius Rucker called "It Won't Be Like This For Long". As I listened to the words, I could see what she was saying. Our babies are destined to grow up and leave the nest. The time that we spend with them is a fraction of our lives. Enjoy the blessings that we have with these kids each day, 'cause it wont be like this for long....

by Darrius Rucker
It won’t be like this for long
One day we'll look back laughin’
At the week we brought her home
This phase is gonna fly by
So baby just hold on
‘Cause it won't be like this for long

It won’t be like this for long
One day soon that little girl is gonna be
All grown up and gone
Yeah, this phase is gonna fly by
So, he's tryin’ to hold on

‘Cause it won’t be like this for long.....

Great advice Darrius and Ice...They didn't even have to earn their counseling degrees for it AND the advice was free....got to remember it when I am working at my coffee shop and a tired looking woman enters to order a tall pike. She'll probably be digging into the bottom of her purse, counting her loose coins, trying to find enough change to pay for her coffee. When I see this, I'll pour the coffee and hand it to her...."It's on the house, honey. You look like you had a tough day...tell me about it..."

And so, as I drank my coffee this morning, I was watching the Today show and Kathie Lee (believe it or not) offered some interesting advice (that went something like this): "Find something that you love to do and you will never need to be paid." I like it...now this is what Buddy and Ice's baby have to do. What is it that they like, love, and have a passion for? They have to....run after it...lasso it...hold on tight...but, receive a weekly paycheck, for Pete's sake. Sometimes, it takes a college degree, education at a culinary school, apprenticeship, or time in the military. However, in our kids' minds, the path is not so clear and they have to take the roads that are less traveled (Peck) to achieve their goals. Any advice that we give to them will probably never be absorbed or taken, so instead we offer the gift of ourselves as friendly faces, someone who loves them whether they miss a foul shot or pop up. Having this foundation gives them what they need to succeed. No advice is needed, since actions speak much louder than words.

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