Thursday, March 23, 2017

Movin on.....Jack of All Trades...Master of None

Good morning! It's an early one since dad woke the house up looking for his see.....

Image result for wake up! gif

With adult children living at home, they are less inclined to follow established rules such as don't borrow anything without replacing it....close garage door....walk dogs before they mess the floor.....close cabinets after opening them....close the freezer after removing a Skinny Cow ice cream bar.....pick up after others....keep a positive attitude and so on and so on and so on.....

Therefore, at 5 am, I decided to get out of bed and start my day since my sleep was disrupted by the missing razor.Image result for sloppy adults gif

What is going on? Well, I guess the adults around here...namely Tink and the big leftie no longer take ownership of property and people's possessions. They borrow or take...never replace....Image result for sloppy adults gif

Is it all bad?'s bad when dad has to borrow my pink razor to shave. He was not pleased and encouraged me to spend the extra dollar and purchase better quality ones. All's well....
Image result for man using women's razor gif
What else is new?

Well, work has kicked up in a big way. As some readers know, I am the editor of the department's magazine. It is published once and year and generally an arduous project because I have to beg people to write articles, take photos, and make my project their priority...which it is not. Therefore, I am left creating the entire magazine almost alone.

Image result for working mom gif

This year with the budget crunch, I was told by marketing that the magazine was on hold. After 8 months of preparation and lots of work in it, the project was moved to the shelf and labeled....."dust collector..."

Just as I was exhaling, 'cause frankly I did my work and if it is not published, so be it.....I bumped into the Provost.

"How is the magazine coming?"

BPM: "Didn't you hear? It's on the shelf."

Angrily, "No, it is not. Get it moving for publication. I will find the money...."

Image result for working gif

Crud....double crud....triple crud.....

Image result for working mom gif

And so....we are back on AND I have a deadline....Crud....double crud....triple crud....Image result for working gif

Since there is no money for professional photography, I am carrying my camera around campus and snapping photos of poorly dressed and unprepared community members who scowl at me. Last year, I was told that my photos were terrible....this year I got the job because I have taken lots of birthday and holiday photos with my Nikon. Yep, my job qualifications are being a mom and snapping pix of the kids with cake on their faces. Hey, you never know when life events qualify a person for the big time.....I should add "mom duties for 28 years" on my resume....Related image

Let's see, I am qualified based on past experience as a:

nurse (boo boos, headaches, stomach viruses and vomit are attended to with a kind word or gagging)
chauffeur (I have logged thousands of miles in car pools)

Image result for working mom gif
cleaning professional (cleaning up dog poo and pee plus pulling out the vacuum, dusting, and making beds)
plumber (I unclog toilets like lightening)
landscaper (I plant the flowers and weed.....)
carpenter (got my screw driver to tighten knobs on cabinets)
artist ( I color in the lines)
sculptor (check out my Play dough figures)
counselor (BP mom's attention is yours when you need it as well as the sentence "What are you going to do about it?")
bartender (we know what happens at 5p)Image result for working mom gif

secretary (Controlling schedules....except the time when I put Tink on the bus when she did not have school....that was bad)

Image result for sloppy adults gif
financial adviser (no, you cannot buy a Corvette with $98. 24.....)
mathematician ( I can figure out a tip with my trusty calculator)
singer (itsy bitsy spider is my signature song...kind of like Sinatra's New York, New York)
waitress and cook (yep, my recipe for noodle surprise has won lots of local awards....NOT!)
Image result for sloppy adults gif
With that said, I am also qualified as a personal shopper and have to get my body to the grocery store to buy some razors. I would like more than 5 hours of sleep tonight....

Image result for sloppy adults gif


No comments:

Post a Comment