Onward

Tonight is Buddy's last night home for another two months. Time really flew....he sort of adjusted to the old routine. There were a few things that he forgot to do such as locking the door at night time, turning off the garage light and closing the door before bed, throwing out hershey kiss wrappers rather than dropping them on the floor, leaving wet towels on the floor, dishes in the sink, walking the dog when she needs it, tossing recyclables in the bin, and so on. Now that he is going away, my re-orientation of house rules will go by the wayside.....

As I previously mentioned, he ready with his hefty bag matching luggage. The car is packed and has new tires, but I am sure that he is going to forget some very important items like a tooth brush, pillow, and socks. He is walking around like he is in a daze or fog....like something important is on his mind....nah....

So, tomorrow at 5 am, dad and Buddy leave for the great unknown. They will point the car west and follow navigation until they reach the field. After that...who knows...this is yet another adventure for the big guy and his dad. Beginning at the tender age of 1, the kid has had a ball, bat or glove in his hand. His dad was a willing participant in the development of his skills. They would spend hours together as tutor and pupil, coach and player, and father and son. It is a journey that I have watched and also taken. But the story is more about the two of them and how a sport has created a bond that will never be broken. They speak to one another at least twice a day and work through the travels on life together. It is something to behold.....

Now the question is: "Where will the summer roads take him?" Will he sink or swim in this league? Can he add another pitch to his game or will all of this effort be in vain? I don't know, stay tuned....

On the road again.....

Today is Memorial Day and I would like to thank all the wonderful men and women who have valiantly served our country. May God bless them all...

It is also two days before I leave for an extended "vacation." I have so much to think about that my brain is in a freeze and won't let me plan. I also begin teaching an online course tomorrow night, which means that I will virtually bring my class with me to our place in Ohio.

Some of Buddy's team mates are playing in regions that I can only dream about. For example, his friend Big A will be playing for two months in Hawaii. Yes, you are seeing this correctly...Hawaii. Need I say more? I could live in a grass hut on the beach and surf all day with my laptop plugged into my newly purchased generator....sorry....dreaming.....back to reality.

He is ready to go. All of his worldly possessions are packed neatly in hefty trash bags. On the other hand, I am flustered and wondering what I need.....laptop...printer...camera...Skittles....lucky sneakers....can't think of anything else....

a bit more....

I was in a rush this morning and had time to post just a short note about the final play off game. However, there is so much more to share. I don't know where to begin. Today was our official first day home as a complete family. I politely requested that we go to mass together, then everyone could split and go their own way. Despite a few grumbles, we made it to the 7:30 am. At this early time, my day was made....thank you to my children for spending time with me at such an early hour.

So, it is Sunday and everyone has their own plans. Dad wanted to work, run errands and clean his oh-so-dirty car. Buddy was pumped up because his coach and mentor was finally called up to the big leagues last night. When he awoke this morning, he had a text sharing the good news. His coach is now a 29 year old rookie. Best wishes, kiddo....keep it low...no hanging curve balls over the plate....Tink....well, she did not have any real plans except to follow me around during the day and finish her laundry. Speaking of laundry, Buddy's clothes and equipment did not make it into the house. I sent him to the laundromat with his piles of dust, dirt, and clothes reminiscent of Charlie Brown's friend Pigpen who walked around with a cloud of dust surrounding him. The clean clothes are now in a big Hefty bag in the car waiting for the trip to Ohio on Wednesday.

On to the Ohio news....after the conference tournament abruptly ended on Thursday, we drove to where Buddy's summer league team is going to play. The location of the stadium (and I use this term very loosely...let's call it a baseball diamond with a fence around it) is really in the middle of a 'depressed' region. What I mean by depressed is that there are lots of abandoned factories, railroad tracks, and emptied and boarded homes. Five miles in any direction will take a person to a more vibrant area. From what I understand, several business men started this team two years ago to help to revitalize the region.

Right away, we knew that we would search for housing at least five miles from the stadium. There was nothing closer that I would feel comfortable living in. And then we started....going from apartment building to apartment building to Realtor to online Craigslist...oh yes, there are apartments but they can only be leased for one year OR they are not furnished OR unavailable for us to move into in less than one week. One woman who worked at the desk rolled her eyes and looked at me like I was crazy when I mentioned that we needed a furnished apartment ready for move in today. I became a bit defensive and pointed to dad...."I delegated to him and look where it got me...." She looked me in the eye, slowly tilted her head and gave me a little smile as if to say "I got one of those at home too..." We immediately bonded. Sisters...I could feel it.....It was at this point that I became desperate. The apartments that we were looking at had police to patrol on a regular basis (found this information out by checking the details online), so I wanted it. "Sorry...we cannot accommodate you until June 11th..." I shook my head and became very assertive: "Not good enough, cookie. Look (I wagged my finger), I will give you $200 in cash to move it quicker....how does that sound?" Where did I get the number 200? I don't know, it sounded like a great deal of money, but I was desperate after living in a variety of hotels over the past few months, I was NOT going to spend two months in one unless it was a Ritz Carlton and given my location, there wasn't one within a 1000 miles. She laughed and told me that there was no way that it could be done AND the apartments are not furnished. Fine, fine, fine....I took it and signed the lease. Dad and Tink looked comically at me with either a new respect or with the understanding that I would have to be committed to a mental facility at some point very soon.

There you have it...we have the apartment...it is not ready until June 11th. We are arriving in Ohio on June 1st.... there is no furniture....no blankets, beds, table, chairs, dishes, or coffee pot! I have to run to either a thrift store or Ikea when we arrive and coordinate the arrival of the furniture to be delivered when we have access to the apartment. Until then, we will live in a hotel and have sandwiches or yogurt for dinner....I must be crazy.... How has my life turned into this? I am a very organized person. I do not like ambiguity. I like knowing where I am going to sleep and what I am going to make for dinner. I enjoy a Merlot every now and then and do not like living out of a suitcase.....but.....

I will do anything for the kids (short of camping...been there...done that...got the merit badge). Buddy and Tink have been the fuel in my tank. I would walk to the North Pole in my bare feet to pick up Christmas gifts if Santa couldn't make it. I would even live in a remote part of Ohio if I had to...so there you have it...love makes the world go round and it got me to where I am now...in the Dollar General picking up plates, napkins, mugs, pots, and pans. We can do this...I know that we can. it will be nice....I know it. It might not be home, but home is where your heart is. It's a very corny expression, but oh so accurate....

Taste of defeat

My last post focused on the playoffs. Sadly, Buddy's team did not win and we left town early. However, before we left, the team that was the favorite stayed on our floor in the hotel. The first night was very quiet. They could have been church ladies, they were so subdued. Then it happened.....they won their first game and proceeded to "party" late in to the night and early morning. From my room, I could hear the activity in the hall. There was laughter, joy, banging, screaming, and falling down dead drunk. Yes, they were loaded.....relieving stress after winning their first game. Party on.....I am so glad that they had fun 'cause the rest of the tournament did not go as well for them. They lost their next game and suddenly found themselves in the loser bracket. They made the finals and were 'smoked' by the winning team. Game, set, match.....what did we learn? Here is my take...beer and wine do not taste as good as winning the conference championship....so it goes.....

more later.....

The play offs begin....and end.....

It is Thursday evening and we have had quite an interesting few days. After leaving the house yesterday morning at 6 am for the long trip west, we put our "fan caps" on.

It has been quite a long year with the team playing 50+ games, traveling thousands of miles, and living out of hotel rooms as they worked to keep their grade point averages above the basement floor. The trip took about 8 hours and we were ready....cooler, lucky sneakers, Skittles, water, sunscreen, and homemade sandwiches were carefully packed in the car. As the trip progressed, it was time to pull out the ham, turkey and cheese sandwiches that I had made. Thinking about sandwiches on pretzel rolls was on my mind for several hours as we traveled along the turnpike. When we all agreed that it was time to eat, I leaned to the back of the car to grab the sandwiches and realized that they were sitting in the refrigerator and I had forgotten them. The most amazing sandwiches in the world were left at home and we were on our own for lunch. As organized as I have been all year, I forgot the sandwiches. I hoped that this was not a precursor of what was to come.....

Arriving just in time for game one, we anticipated a win since the team beat the first team two out of three during the season. One of their best pitchers was on the mound and after the Star Spangled Banner was played, the umpire shouted "Play Ball"...from that point on, it was a battle....sadly, game was a loss. It seemed like they were never really in it, as they tried to come from behind. Buddy was not placed in the game, so I felt that they were saving them for today's game.
After the game, we met in the hotel's bar with the rest of the parents. If I said that Buddy was a bit "salty", I would be not be telling the whole story. He was angry and borderline nasty....eventually he got over it, but he was definitely in a "snarky" mood. Oh joy, dinner was going to be the pleasant family meal that I desired.....not! Eventually he let the pain of the loss go and we had a good time with each other.

At dinner, he shared that he was going to expunge his room mate. I was not sure why, because as he tells us, this kid sleeps more than Rip Van Winkle. Was he sleep talking? Sleep walking? Stealing his last pair of clean underwear? Using his toothbrush? Snoring? What was going on? According to the big kid, his roomie was a "diva" and driving him crazy. In all fairness, they have been together for a week on the road, I am sure Gandhi would have driven him crazy too. This guy is also one of his room mates in the fall. Did we think this through?

Back to the playoffs...one more loss and they were going home. Today's game was scheduled for noon against a team that dropped a lead yesterday in the 8th and lost. Two weeks ago, our team beat them two out of three games and then it happened....an 8 run 4th inning and good night Betty.....they were done. Buddy entered the game in the 5th and stopped the bleeding. Unfortunately, he was taken out after two scoreless innings and the game was basically over. The team never regained its momentum and died...slowly...painfully...sadly....on national television....going....going...gone! We are finished with freshman year.....

So, do we pack and go home? Nope...gotta to travel to the other side of the state and find a furnished apartment for Buddy to move into next week. OK, I am sure the question that you have is "why did you wait so long, Bullpen mom?" The answer is...I did not wait...I delegated....to the wrong people...Buddy and his dad. By the way, the big kid called the other night in a panic that he had no where to live next week. Hmmmm, the kid is in college. I have repeatedly asked him to call the team about housing.....it is a week before the move....sudden panic has set in. A friend of mine once said, "your lack of planning does not constitute an emergency for me..." She is right, but so it goes...we have an emergency anyway. So, tomorrow, we travel to find just the right place to live. One parent whose son lived there last year advised, "don't go to the right of the stadium....very dangerous...." To the right? Where am I standing? I could be standing on the wrong side and land up on the right anyway....or I can be standing on the left and be on the correct side....why didn't I ask more questions? Why or why? I am going to have to 'wing it' and stand on both sides and toss a coin....

One last thing, I asked him about the 'cool stuff' that he was supposed to get from the sponsors...where is it? Apparently, one of the seniors 'lied' to the team to encourage them to play harder so that they could make the tournament. The concept of getting free stuff was enough to motivate a group of guys who needed a bit of encouragement. Was he wrong to lie? nah....they did receive a free lanyard....


OK,in the next post I will reflect on the first year of division 1 baseball. Was it everything that we/he had expected? more? less?

Refrigerator boxes and summer accomodations

Hi! I did not post yesterday for a number of reasons, the primary one was work-related....sometimes work takes precedence over anything else. Got to pay the bills, right?

Tomorrow we take the big trip to Ohio for the championships. I have been given "orders" (actually suggestions...any 'order' would end in divorce court...youknowhwtaiamtalkingabout?)....cooler stocked with waters, sandwiches, snacks, apples, and skittles (Tink's request). My only desire is a grande Starbucks coffee (preferably bold). On the 8 hour drive, I will be calling apartments trying to find one furnished for next week. Why have I waited this long? Actually, I was not the procrastinator. This one had been delegated to Buddy and his dad. I sat back and watched this one unfold into the mess that it has become. Buddy is moving to his summer residence next Wednesday. Yep, do the math....eight days from now. Tink has suggested that he brings a big refrigerator box poked with little holes so he can breathe. I have recommended a camper that he can leave at the ball park. However, dad has it all "under control".

With that said, the trip should be eventful. As I look for residence and watch the games, I will be reflecting on how we got to this point. If someone had said that Buddy would be living out of a box this summer, I would have laughed...yet....who knows....as long as he has his cleats and glove, what else does he need? He can shower at the ballpark.

The first game of double elimination begins tomorrow afternoon and will be televised. Will Buddy enter the game? I doubt it unless it goes into extra innings. This is the life of a bullpen player. The starter in big games goes as long as possible, then one by one bullpen players are called out. As a freshman, I am not sure if he will get the call, yet stranger things happen, so I will have the camera ready.

Hopefully the hotel will have internet so I can post after the game. The parents are so excited. Emails have been flying around about accommodations and restaurants. Someone suggested that we bring a cowbell (that's a big 'no'). It looks like fun times and a big party as the season draws to a close. Am I closing the door on the season already? Don't I think that they will win the tournament? Hmmm....maybe....they are the lowest seed, so I have my doubts, yet miracles do happen. They could win and we could find a beautiful, cheap and furnished apartment ready for moving in next week....what do you think?

Still here...

Oooops...someone was very wrong about the end of the world. That was a major faux pas....did anyone really think that he was right? I heard of one man who stopped paying his bills thinking that this was it....what was he thinking? You don't use money in heaven....perhaps a debit card...no cash...

Well, yesterday Buddy's team came out on fire and won the game with a big number. Buddy did get the call to come in to relieve the starter. He made it through the first inning and had two runners on base with one out during his second inning. According to the big kid, he was lifted from the game for a senior who had not seen much time on the mound. The team was winning by a big number, so the coach felt secure in putting the pitcher in with one out, so that he could be on television and finish his college pitching career on a high note. Sadly, he had a rough outing and was eventually replaced before he was able to secure an out....

With that said, the team qualified for the conference tournament which will start on Wednesday. The top six teams are on the roster with Buddy's team playing a team that they had previously beaten (always a good draw). Buddy and his team mates are thrilled, not just because they are still playing ball in late May but because they are going to get "a lot of cool stuff". What is "cool stuff?" Well....since the games/tournament has big sponsors, they will receive tee shirts, back packs, luggage, hats, and so on with the sponsors' brand on them. They will also be on television as they wear their "cool stuff". And we will look for ways to bring the cool stuff home in a small Honda.

The plan is to make the 8 hour drive before Wednesday afternoon's game. We already secured the hotel room and now need tickets. Dad does not think that I have to order them now, however, if he is wrong and I make the long trip to the tournament and cannot get a ticket, he will walk home with the "cool stuff" on his back.

The end of the world?

Hello. This weekend's series was to be the defining moment of a very long year. Would they sweep the last place team and demonstrate dominance? Or would they head for the coach bus and leave the stadium with a blown opportunity? So far, the answer is......

undecided...

They won the first game on Thursday night. The hitting was missing, but the pitching was there. Tight game...but a "W". Last night, a 12 inning game, was a different story. The pitching was shaky at first, but the starter hung in there. What was missing was the ability to get timely hits and move the players who were on base to home plate. It was frustrating to listen to, I can only imagine how frustrated the players were....Leading me to say, that nothing is ever easy....if they are going to get the last play off spot, they will have to gut it out and score runs any way that they can.

Based on the number of bullpen players used in the first two games, Buddy will be in the line up today toward the end of the game. This will be a huge moment for the freshman southpaw, so I pray that his team gives him a big lead to work with. He has not been in a game in two weeks, so I am not sure if he is rusty, but since he was warming up last night, he seems ready to go.

So, here is where it stands, today's game will be broadcasted on national television. As a country waiting for the world to end (only kidding, I don't believe that it is today), we can all tune in to see how the big kid does. Based on one person's prediction, the world will end at 6 pm tonight. I am not sure if it is Pacific time or not, nonetheless, Buddy will probably be on the mound at 6....what a way to go...living your dream...in front of a national audience....will he come through with a big strike out? Will the fielders be prepared behind him? Will the team be victorious and move toward the next level in baseball? Or will we all meet at the "Pearly gates" and finish the game in heaven?

Father and son

As I mentioned yesterday, this weekend's series is the biggest of the year as the team battles for a bid to the conference tournament. It's huge...really big....scary big....bigger than the finals of the 11 year old little league championship. As I recall, Buddy's team with the yellow shirts won that game and was declared the league champions. They beat the boys with the black shirts. It was a very big deal. Dad was the coach, Buddy played first base, and everyone had the opportunity to play at least one inning. It was a great night...big party...dinner out...very memorable...or actually...not....

What I do remember was the stress and pressure that the kids and coaches faced as they prepared for the championship game. The parents were stressed out too. We made posters with the kids' names and photos on them and decorated the field with streamers and balloons. I also had the chance to plan a very big party after the game, win or lose...we were going to celebrate a long, successful season. The kids won and everyone was happy, happy, happy....

As I look back on it, at the time it was the biggest game that the boys had faced. They were cool under pressure and seemed to have fun. Yet, I perspired the entire game, never sat down, and worried about the outcome. In hindsight, this was pretty crazy. It was 11 year old baseball, yet we all acted as if it was the World Series game 7 bottom of the 9th. How crazy is that?

So, now that I have experienced almost every level of baseball (minus the minors and majors), I can truthfully say that I can put it all in perspective (sort of). The pressure and stress that I felt was related to my desire to see my son and husband succeed and be happy. I wanted them to be the champions. I wanted them to feel the joy of a job well done and how hard work will also prevail. So, did they peak in elementary school? Was this the best time that they would ever have as a father son duo or team?

The answer is absolutely "no." It was a fun time, but there were better times ahead. They were able to share the ups and downs of trying out for tournament teams, travel to various places around the country and hanging out together and talking baseball. It is something that has bonded father and son. After each game this year, Buddy would call home, not to talk to me, but to speak with his dad. He would banter with him then listen, and offer some words of wisdom. As I see it, his father was responsible for his success.

It is true that Buddy had the desire, trained, sacrificed, and had the ability to excel in his chosen sport, but dad was there every step of the way. He coached, drove, listened, counseled, sacrificed, and paid for everything. This was not an inexpensive venture. Teams, uniforms and equipment are expensive. Travel to games with hotels, gasoline, food, and fees added to the cost. Coaching was another big expense. He worked out with his coach during the off season twice a week. Further when he needed a new bat, he went to his dad. I would take him to Sports Authority or Dicks to buy a bat that was half price and added my 10% coupon. Dad would order the DeMarini online and get the jazziest bat on the market.

Last week Buddy did not have any cash on his university card. I was on campus at the time and asked him why he was telling me. He knows that his dad is the one who transfers the money to his account. It was at that moment that I looked at him and commented "you have your dad in the palm of your hand, don't you?" He grinned and sheepishly nodded...Yes folks...the secret is out....I know it...Tink knows it...Buddy has always known it....he and dad have a bond that no one will ever break. I see his dad's personality emerging and wonder if he is secretly a twin.

Is it the end or the beginning?

Good morning! I had some misgivings about writing about my toothless friend during yesterday's post, but reality is reality. The incident did happen and I often scratch my head in wonder at some of the interesting (or not so interesting) things that happen to me in a given day.

With that said, the team travels to Michigan in their coach bus and MUST win the final three games to qualify for the tournament next week. Last year, the team was in last place in the conference. This year they were in first place and fell from grace as they had trouble closing the door on a few of the important games. So, it will be a very exciting weekend. Either it is over...or just beginning.....it's a journey. Think about it. They began their work outs and practices one week after school began in August. They played scrimmages all fall, worked out at night, traveled thousands of miles, missed many classes (probably because they overslept...just a thought), and it all comes down to the last weekend. My Merlot will be in my hand as I listen intently to the games. The last game will be on television on Saturday. Crunch time.....

Almost heaven....

There's a heavy rain watering (drowning, perhaps) the flowers and grass. The ducks are loving it. However, if you are a baseball player waiting to play the last home game, you are not pleased. Looking at the sky, I am not sure whether they will finish the season off at home or not. We have plans on taking a trip (again) to watch the last game with the promise of seeing our Buddy pitch an inning or two. The special giveaway at the stadium is a free hot dog with every ticket. The question is: "do we make a 6 hour round trip to sit in the rain, not see Buddy pitch, and eat a soggy, yet free hot dog?" The answer will be revealed at noon. Until then, I am watching the forecast, weather maps, and waiting for a text from my favorite southpaw as to the game status.

Baseball in the northeast is unpredictable with the weather fluctuations. The weather was a common topic of all of the speeches at the baseball banquet on Sunday night. Buddy has pitched in fog and gave up a run when the outfield could not see the ball after it was hit. I doubt if the scorekeeper could officially say that the error was due to fog.

During another Ohio game, the team was playing in a blizzard as there was 1/2" of snow on the ground and as the ball was hit into the air, snow would fall into the players' eyes blocking their vision. I guess goggles could have helped as well as skis to get to the ball after it was hit. And who could forget the frigid temperatures of the March and April games? I learned alot about survival skills attending those games. I brought almost every coat that I owned to the games. I would wear three to stay warm, use the hand and body warmers, two pairs of socks, and had a blanket. I felt like a little kid in a snow suit and could barely walk with the heaviness of my attire. But I gutted it out just like the players. I was going to be there supporting my player and team no matter what....

As always, the camera was always ready to capture the minute or seconds that Buddy would enter the game whether it was sunny, cloudy, windy, or foggy. I cannot say that I was hot or even warm at any of these events. We were even cold at the banquet as it was held outside in the stadium.

The weather is such an important factor in outdoor sports and can be the tenth man on the baseball diamond. In tennis, we could play indoors, yet baseball games are usually postponed in the rain. I can only recall a few games that continued as the rain would pour. For example, Buddy and I went to a tournament in West Virginia (an 8 hour ride through the mountains...very pretty...but long!). After we arrived, they had a 7 pm game. Buddy hit his first home run that night. Yes, it was his first. We attributed his burst of energy to his foot long turkey hoagie from Subway (not an endorsement, just a fact). Yet, the first full day of games was cancelled because of heavy rain. As we learned that they would not play that day, we looked for something local to do. Sadly, in this very rural section of West Virginia, there was nothing to do.... no movie theater, mall, museum, coffee shop...nothing. Fortunately, we found a Wal Mart near our hotel. It was a big one with lots of sections that our store at home does not have...for example, a person can buy a birthday cake there. I did not know this until we spent some quality time there. Believe me, we were grateful for that WalMart (and for the hotel's HBO....whew!). Don't ask me if he read a book while we waited....I think that you know the answer....

Back to pitching in the rain....the sky cleared for an hour and the tournament continued. The coach put Buddy on the mound and he did very well. However, during the third inning, the rain began to fall....spectators ran for cover....I thought that the game would be delayed. However, they kept going....there was a great deal of mud and players falling or skidding to a stop. The coach kept Buddy on the mound and proceeded to pitch the rest of the game in a pouring rain. They won the game and I asked him why he stayed in so long. He replied that he had told the coach that he was comfortable in the situation and to keep him in because another kid would be injured if he tried to take the mound in the wet conditions. I am not sure that I agree with his logic...yet....it is his logic and not mine...

I enjoyed this tournament very much. The scenery and mountains were spectacular. The local people were very friendly. I sat in the stands chatting with the the opposing fans who were from the region. One woman was angry because some of the visiting fans from other states made nasty remarks about the locals who they felt (not me...) that all they did was sit on their porches, hold their guns, and smile without any teeth. The conjured picture after that statement was definitely a stereotype. I commiserated with her a bit and told her that not all of us felt that way and I did not understand why anyone would say something so peculiar. In fact, I thought that these fans and local people were the nicest that I had met at any tournament. With that said, the next team walked into the ball park and the coach sat next to me. We began to chat a bit about the lousy weather, I said something to him and he laughed...as he did, I noted that he was missing quite a few of his front teeth....my head went from the woman on my right who was angry about stereotypes (and rightly so) to the man on my left....sheepishly, I looked for a gun in his baseball bag....it only had bats and his line up cards....

Weekend Wackiness

This weekend was a wild and wacky one. The southern grandparents flew into town ready to take in a few games. They are actually northern transplants. However, since they have lived below the Mason Dixon line for a number of years, I think that they have forgotten about our very cool spring weather especially in the mountains. Tink broke out one of the hand warmers and bought a blanket to wrap around our 'southern belle'....I think that they enjoyed the weekend, so that makes me a very happy bullpen daughter-in-law.

The team won two out of three games and are still in the hunt for the last play off spot. Next week's final series will determine whether they continue the season or pack their equipment bags and take the turnpike home. Before the game, the university had a number of baseball cards printed and the team spent time autographing them for a number of little league kids. Some of the kids wanted their arms signed by the players. I was told that it was pretty humorous. I missed it since I was late arriving from home.

Last night we attended the baseball banquet that honored the seniors. They were quiet and very humble. One or two looked like they were going to cry as they each gave a closing speech. A common theme uttered by each senior was gratitude to their parents for sticking by them and helping them throughout the years. I was touched by their sincerity and appreciation. It seems that Buddy was surrounded by a great group of guys.

Tomorrow is the last home game against my alma mater. The question is: do I wear my university gear or be loyal to Buddy's team? Would Derek Jeter's mother wear a Mets hat? I don't think so.

It's been a long season. Since the games started on President's weekend, they have played about 45 games. Buddy has not been home since Christmas and will probably be home only to see the eye doctor, primary doctor and dentist before he leaves for Ohio. As far as Ohio is concerned, he still does not have housing and may have to live out of his car...oopps...I nearly forgot...he doesn't have a car....precarious situation....what should the big kid do? It was his assignment to contact the team and coach about dorms, sublets or houses for rent....still has not done it and is due to arrive June 1....what does Bullpen mom do? Hmmmm.....

To close or not to close?: That is the question....

The weekend home stand against a conference rival began with a win last night. Dad, Tink, and the grandparents are headed to campus to watch the games for the rest of the weekend. I am not sure if they will bring good luck or wear their lucky sneakers. It is anyone's guess. I will know more by the end of today's game. Although after scoring 7 runs last night, they probably don't need luck....they are a fierce fighting machine...yeah...that's right...fierce (remember they have Mohawks....)

Back to yesterday's post about Buddy the closer....let's think about this a bit more. The big kid wants to play in the big leagues...will closing in college for 4 years prepare him for it OR are the coaches doing him a great disservice by placing him in to pitch 1 to 3 innings per week? If I was taking a test in college, I would choose the answer "B" (the answers are always "B" in an objective test)....a bit of a disservice. From my limited perspective, 200 miles away, he needs to have more time on the mound to develop all kinds of talents including pitching for long stretches. It is true, he can be a knucklehead (I say this with great love and admiration) when it comes to pitching in big situations BUT to restrict the time spent on the mound to win games and not develop the player is a no-no....unless I am looking at this from the wrong angle.

As far as being a bullpen mom is concerned, he has a very lofty goal. So, what is the best way for him to attain it? What is the best way for the coaches to attain their goal of lots of wins? There has to be some sort of compromise....right? OK, so this is an issue that I am going to be pondering the next few months and I will post as I receive more answers. On the one hand...he enters every game...on the other hand...he enters every game....short spurts...constant state of readiness....stressing...anxious....wound up...ready to go....Based on what he has told me, it is an adrenaline-rush to be able to close a game. So, maybe that is the answer....still thinking about it...

Bullpen mom forever....

Yesterday I had another interesting conversation with the big kid. Actually, all of our conversations are interesting, because I never know what to expect. When I see his phone number on caller ID, is he calling because he is happy, sad, or broke? These emotions and economic status updates are the usual reasons for communication between us. Although, he did call me on Mother’s Day from the airport on his way to the food court to grab a quick sandwich. The team had lost, so he was in a bit of a foul mood.

Back to the conversation…”Mom, they want to make me the game closer.” Hmmm, I thought….great, now I can watch the entire game and wait until the 9th inning for an appearance from this day on....so, the life of a Bullpen mom continues...no game starts, just finishing the game...this is how it will go for the next 3 years… no going to the bathroom or for a walk after the 7th inning...wait, wait, wait....pitch 3 to 5 minutes with a tremendous amount of pressure...…game over....But this is not about me...

“Is this a good thing?” I asked with great interest. “Yep!” he reports. OK, so explain it, big guy. Here is how it goes...according to Buddy…”the coaches like me…they think that I have an attitude and intensity that they have never seen in a freshman...I go out there and lay it all out on the line and don’t care (do they really know him?). I hit 88 mph on my fast ball last night. I blew the ball past a first round draft pick then he hit into a double play. They see great potential in me as a closer. This is awesome!” Happy, happy, happy... a closer....Brad Lidge, Mariano Rivera...closing games with a run difference in the score...he would be a hero or a zero...is he ready for this? Am I?

As a mother, I am happy when my kids are happy...so he is ecstatic... I am happy too. Yet, from this day forward, I keep the title of Bullpen Mom since he is forever relegated to his beloved bullpen and insane fellow pitchers, eating sunflower seeds, hanging out, enjoying the scenery, swatting bugs, chatting with the fans, and entering the game at the end. This also means that Tink is Bullpen sister...Dad is Bullpen dad...…Grandparents are Bullpen grandparents, Diva Dog is Bullpen dog, and you (my wonderful readers) are Bullpen readers....

Don't blink: A brief appearance

Last night's game with the team's cross state rival was pretty uneventful. Since the game was broadcasted over the internet, we sat at dinner and listened to it with hopeful anticipation that he would be called in to pitch. We were delighted when we heard that his number was called and he pitched the 8th inning.

So, here is how it went (if I remember correctly)....walk...pop up...walk...double play....out of inning...done...taken out for the closer to end the game. That was it. My calculation was that he was on the mound for roughly 4 1/2 minutes. He works quickly. Then it was over. I cannot imagine that as a player, I would be satisfied with a 5 minute (I added 30 seconds for the walk from the bullpen) appearance especially after an 8 hour round trip on the bus, warm-ups, and dinner at Quiznos...but this is the world of a bullpen player....wait, wait, wait, go...out.

So, it goes as the season slowly comes to an end. The last game will take place in 2 weeks then he is home for a day or two. After spending quality time with his family (not), he packs his bags, glove, baseball caps, and cleats and heads for Ohio to play in the collegiate league. I will be there with him for a while to get him settled in and to figure out how the league and team works. The life of a bullpen mom may change over the summer if he starts a game...then I will have to change my name to (perhaps) Starter mom....Actually, the first home game is Dollar Beer Night...that should be a hoot....I am really not sure what to expect as the beer flows in a region that I do not know with people that I have never met. I guess this is part of 'life is an adventure' speech that I have given the kids time after time....the adventure is about to begin.

With that said, there is a 3 game home stand over the weekend. Buddy and Tink's grandparents from the south are going to attend two of the games. Perhaps Pop will also win the "catch a tee shirt" contest like Grandpop did. Then both grandfathers can proudly wear their baseball tee shirts. Yet, it would be really really nice if Buddy would be handed the ball to pitch while they are watching in the stands. Then they would have the entire "Bullpen Grandparent" experience of waiting, waiting, waiting, throw a pitch or two...out....

An invitation or two

Fun times yesterday! It was a great day to take Grandmom and Grandpop to their first game. With beautiful weather, lunch in a bar, and some drunken students, they got a glimmer of the college life. Grandpop even caught a shirt thrown into the stands during the tee shirt throwing contest.

The team won, which is always a good thing. Sadly, Buddy did not play and sat in his bullpen with the guys and the inebriated spectators in the stands. According to the big kid, they enjoyed the drunken banter from the crowd so much, they wrote on a baseball, threw it into the stands, and invited them to the weekend's games so that they can harass the conference right fielder, too. I am not sure that Martha Stewart would approve of the invitation that they used, yet I think that it was pretty creative! Back to the drunken fans...they used their Smartphones to look up information about the opposing players and would scream out to them. For example, the right fielder was a biology major. The crowd asked him for the difference between mitosis and miosis. I wonder if Jayson Werth put up with guys like this? Another player was from Canada. When he struck out, they would scream "USA, USA"....It added some levity to an otherwise quiet game. By the way, the crowd invited the bullpen guys to go on a 'pub crawl' with them. However, if you invite a ball player anywhere, you are going to have to treat them since none of them can work due to the schedule....

Afterward, we picked Buddy up and took him to a food court for dinner. He was proud of the wad of cash that he received from the team to pay for meals this week. It may seem like a great deal of money, but it is not enough to adequately feed them unless they buy the $5.00 subs at Subway and live off of them. When he picked up his food, he got into line after me. I asked him if he was paying or if I was.....he gave me that killer grin and I knew that (once again), money was going to fly out of my pocket. Actually, his 14 inch sub/hoagie was not enough to fill him, but it cut his hunger pains until I was safely out of town with enough money left to pay for gas.

Today, the team travels to the western part of the state to play a team that they barely beat earlier this year. I will be listening intently on the computer to hear if Buddy enters the game. The game starts at 7pm and I will be in the living room, with a Merlot and empty wallet safe in my hands.

Happy Mother's Day

Good morning. Happy Mother's Day to all of the moms out there whether they are bullpen moms or bullpen grandmoms or not...it was their day! Our weather and day were spectacular and I took the weekend off from writing about my favorite subject....my bullpen son and bullpen family. So, back to work...

This weekend's series was a very important one for both teams. Last week, our team was in first place in the conference and looking pretty slick. Sadly, last weekend's series against the other first place team ended with the team losing 3 out of 3 and dropping them into 6th place. No problem, so they thought when they flew to play the last place team. This should be a sweep, the guys thought....yet, that was not to be....so here is a quick recap....

Friday's night game was pretty much a disaster from the first inning on....they lost big....and made 8 errors in the field. Only two earned runs were scored yet they lost by 9. On Saturday, they tightened up and only had one error. They did win by 1 run. Yes, Buddy did get into the game for 1 batter and gave up a hit and run. I must say that he looked very professional giving up that run (always looking on the bright side). He was then taken out for a right handed pitcher. Happily, the team held on to win the game. Sunday was the big game of the series. The starting pitcher was amazing and had a no hitter after 5 innings. Unfortunately, the team lost in ten innings. So, they go home winning one out of three....the guys and coaches are not happy. Perhaps it is time to shave the mohawks....

The team will play 2 games this week to prepare for next weekend's home stand. Hopefully, Buddy will pitch to more than one batter. Tink and I will bring Grandmom and Grandpop to this game. Grandmom has something going on with her right eye. Whereas Grandpop lost the hearing in his right ear last week (probably fluid from allergies), so this will be an interesting ride, game, and trip. Grandpop can see but not hear...Grandmom can hear but has problems with her eye....so he will tell her what is going on and she will listen to the announcements for him...a match made in heaven....by the way...55 years of marriage this June...well done, folks...definitely a diamond anniversary....Although as far as I am concerned, after 5 years....each anniversary is a 'diamond anniversary.'

Since school is out, the freshman have been staying with the guys who have apartments. I am not sure how Buddy is going to react to sleeping on an air mattress in the middle of someone's living room with no privacy. He never slept with anyone until he moved into the dorm with a room mate this year, so he is not accustomed to sharing his space. Living with a group of guys is much different than living with a family. We have distinct roles, as the house is clean and there is food in the cupboards. This is going to be quite an experience for him. It may make or break him. I will be watching and taking his calls and text messages as he adjusts to this special kind of mayhem.

With that said, the team will practice today and Buddy will be pitching a bullpen session with the coach. It is time for the team to get back on track. The playoffs are only for the top 6 teams. Buddy's team is hovering between 5th, 6th, and 7th place....they have to win to take the bus to Ohio for the championship. What a great way to spend Memorial Day. Have a good day....

Mohawk Madness: All "Hawks" are Not Alike

What an interesting day....yesterday we traveled to campus to retrieve "Buddy's" dorm room contents. He is keeping just the essentials until the end of the season. With that said, while he went to baseball practice, Tink, dad, and I were able to enter his dorm and take what he accumulated over the academic year to the car. Based on what I saw along with the state of my sinuses, sneezing, itchiness, and dryness of my eyes, he accumulated a vast amount of dust and dirt. Everything (and I do mean everything) was coated in layers of filth. Every container and suitcase has this heavy coating of dust that even a case of End Dust could not break through. How he lived with this amount of filth is beyond me. Unless...just perhaps...he needs his eyes checked....that would explain it. Time to see the eye doctor. Perhaps he can then locate his curve ball over the plate and see when his living environment is dirty (just a thought). Everything was stacked neatly in the garage. He can take it to the laundromat when he returns home for a thorough cleaning before he brings it into the house. Does all of this mean that BP mom is a clean-freak? The answer is an unabashed and unapologetic "yes".

Yesterday, we had a 6 minute conversation outside of the ball park before the bus picked them up for the airport. The team was traveling to the Midwest today for another big series. They were only making one stop in Detroit before their final destination, so they were in their hotel before 10 pm. There will be a practice today and game tonight. He will have two more games on Saturday and Sunday. Saturday's game will be broadcasted nationally. So, I will be close to the television with Merlot ready for action...."de-cork in case of an emergency..."

Ok, back to our "Buddy sighting"...he stood by the car and talked to us through the passenger window (a very close family moment...touching...). It was the first time that I got a first hand visual of the "Mohawk." Sigh....as far as Mohawks and hair cuts are concerned, it was not the nicest that I have ever seen, nor was it the ugliest. The hair style had some hair around it and the "hawk" was about 1/4" above the hair line. As the wind blew, his "hawk" blew to the left making it off center and looking pretty crooked. He does not have the "Mohawk" look down yet. But all of this is for team unity...so go for it.

During our 6 minutes, we saw some of the players enter the stadium and began to critique their hair styles. It seems that there are levels of Mohawaks.
Level 1: the center "hawk" is cropped close to the head...making a 'minimalist' statement of hawkiness....
Level 2: the "hawk" is longer than a 1/4" with the surrounding area shaved close to the head looking more like the traditional hair style. By the way, the longer the center hair, the more chance that the person wearing it is using hair gel to make the Mohawk-statement.
Level 3: the hair is barely cut on the head and the "hawk" is evident but not showy. This is obviously worn by a person who is new to the hair style and does not yet have the courage to cut the hair down all the way....I call this style the "nouveau-hawk."

With that said, every guy entering the stadium had the hair cut. This will be the team-look until Memorial Day. I tried to take a photo.....Actually, there is no need for a picture. This look stays with me like the first time that I saw him after his birth, first communion photo, and prom picture...I will always remember this one.

And so it goes....the end of the first year and the beginning of the end of the first baseball season. What a strange and fascinating road this has been for Buddy and his greatest fans. Now that classes are over, he can live the life he has dreamed of....playing non-stop baseball, hanging out with the guys, playing video games, eating, and sleeping....Life is good for Bullpen Mom's big kid...happy...happy...happy....

Fatigue has set in....

Tomorrow we are going to travel and pick up Buddy's dorm room contents. The season is not over yet, but the freshman are being kicked out of the dorms to prepare for the summer session. This means that he needs temporary housing until the end of the month. Since there are no dorm rooms available, he plans on sleeping on the floor of a team mates' apartment on an air mattress (supplied by Grandmom). This sounds like a great plan, right?

Actually, it sounds complicated to me. In college, I did sleep on a few floors, but not for a prolonged period of time. There are all kinds of things on the floor, like critters, bugs, and more critters. Got to want to live this way. Perhaps he will make friends with the ants.

Today he reports that he is exhausted. I believe it. With travel, practices, and finals, I don't know how they are able to balance things. Oh wait, they can't....there have been some arguments and snide remarks among the ranks. In fact, there was a big blow up last night and two of the team mates are currently not speaking to one another....My impression is that they are to the point where they can barely stand up. Some are pulling "all-nighters" and others are stressed about finals.

Two days ago, Buddy was 24 hours early for one of his final exams. He wrote down the wrong date and time. At least he was early and not late. I have done that a number of times. Once I showed up for a meeting and boldly announced to the office: "Let is be on the record that I am 5 minutes early for this meeting." The secretary looked at me and said even louder: "Let it be on the record that you are 1 week and 5 minutes early for your meeting....!" OY! And so it goes, we all make mistakes. In my case, I make more than my share. It's all part of this stupid multi-tasking, I can do-it-all attitude that pervades our society. It's a sinister thing. We don't know that we are trying to do too much and then discover that as we try to do quantity, the quality suffers. Perhaps I can blame this on modern technology....we have communication overload and can be in touch with colleagues, family, and friends instantaneously. It pulls our attention away from what we are doing. People have easy access to us, therefore, it is difficult trying to block out the stimulation and focus on what has to be done. So, we are interrupted, drop what we are doing, then go on to something else without finishing the original project.

With that said, I have to end this post and work on something that I have been avoiding for quite some time. No more interruptions....back to work....

Lessons learned

Well, it was bound to happen. Buddy's first year in college is officially over. He had his last final exam this morning and barring any unforeseen circumstances, he is a sophomore. I wish that I could say that it went quickly, but it didn't...for a number of reasons. The ups and downs of year one plus the uncertainties of what was ahead led to some stressful thoughts and conversations.

I have to give the athletes credit. They often get a bad name around college campuses for being lazy or not-very-bright...but they have to be eligible academically to play their sport. They have a minimum number of study hall hours that they have to log in each week, and the coaches and advisers are watching their grades with the scrutiny of a surgeon. The travel is long and often boring. They spend countless hours in hotel rooms or lobbies in college towns where they are not wanted. If they wear their college gear out to dinner, they can be harassed by the locals.

Now, on the the positives....they have to log in a certain amount of study hall hours, they have to keep their grades above the basement, and they are closely monitored by the coaches. It's like having a second mother on campus watching her child and helping him to achieve. This works for me. As far as travel goes, they have opportunities at such a young age to see regions that they may have never visited and spend time with people that they probably would never have met if they were relegated to campus only.

So, all in all, it is great being a college baseball player. They receive lots of free clothes, shoes, sneakers, bags, uniforms, hats, and gloves designed to their specifications. Their uniforms are collected and washed by a team manager. Their travel is taken care of by the athletic department. They are given a decent food stipend each day. Further, the players have a trainer, nutritionist, team doctor, team orthopedist, academic adviser, and sports psychologist. In return, they have to work hard, attend all practices, be on time, and give 110%. As far as I am concerned, this will bode well for his future in whatever he chooses to do. The lessons that he learns by multi tasking, focusing, and working with team mates have been invaluable. As a bullpen mom, I am pleased.

Ring of Fire

I love Johnny Cash's music....who could forget "Ring of Fire?" The words go something like this...."I go down, down, down and the flames got higher...and it burns, burns, burns, the ring of fire...the ring of fire..." The song is written about unrequited love, however, I have now been able to apply it to life, sports, and competition. (This is a stretch, but I think that I can do it).

As I reflected on Buddy's team's performance this weekend (they lost the series...all 3 games to the division leader), the words of the song, ring of fire have a distinct meaning. The ring of fire was the baseball mound. During the weekend, any pitcher who was there was burned and not just my son. When a team plays the number one team in the league, any mistake can mean the difference between a win and a loss. And so it went this weekend. A walk, an error, a hit batter, misplayed ball can lead to a loss(es).
In their case, a series of errors led to late game losses. Sadly, yesterday's game was a bit of a blow out and they were burned by the results.

According to Buddy, the ride home was filled with tension. No one was happy. The coaches were angry about yesterday's game and the lack of focus as opposed to the first two losses. Sadly, the trip was about 8 hours in length, so sitting in the tension filled environment unable to escape even for a walk must have been stressful. On top of this, he has two exams today. Perhaps the quiet on the bus lead to his ability to concentrate and study his notes.

Then again, perhaps he was replaying his performance over and over. When I would play a tennis match (I know...here I go again....), I never reviewed the games for what I did right....only what I did wrong. Deep down inside, I know that I should focus on the positives, but when a person competes, it is the negative aspect of the game that will lead to the next loss. Therefore, an athlete or competitor has to do an objective review. By rationalizing and saying that it was the "other person's fault" does not lead to improvement and is denying individual culpability.

So, the ring of fire can also be a metaphor for one's mind after a tough loss. You can escape the guys and other players...but you can't escape your thoughts. Telling the Big Kid to learn from it then forget about it is lame advice. If I knew how to do this, I would do it myself. But he is a brooder. He is going to process what happened, learn from it, get angry, focus, and attack his game. Does that sound crazy? Maybe....maybe not. I look at where he came from...the little obscure Catholic schools in tiny towns that are not nationally known. He played against the larger, more prestigious schools and was able to hold his own against fierce competition. This has been helpful as he considers where he came from and where he can go. He has always been the underdog. Despite his success, he was never considered by most as an elite athlete, just an overachiever. Having to overcome various rings of fire in the attempt to prove himself has lead to personal success. How many pitchers that he played against in elementary school and high school can say that they had their very first college loss broadcasted on national television? I think the answer is none. Therefore, by being burned on a number of occasions, he is now tougher, stronger, and smarter. He looks forward to the next ring of fire...and so it goes....

Winning and losing

Hello. As my readers know, this blog was started to set the record straight from my maternal perspective. Over the years, my son, "Buddy" has been the topic of a number of discussions/gossip sessions as to the extent of his baseball prowess. Friends and foes wonder (often aloud) how he became so successful in this sport. They were unaware of what it took to play at the division 1 level. Mumblings around town were uttered...."he doesn't deserve it...why didn't I get noticed?....he's a fraud...he's not that good..." Since his dad and I are the only ones besides Buddy who know what effort he has extended, I decided to write an anonymous blog to share the struggles of trying to make it to the Big Leagues. It take more than a dream. It takes dedication, athleticism, sacrifice, and very thick skin just to make it to college. As far as the majors are concerned, I am not sure yet. However, it seems that he has that goal in mind, so I will continue to write until the process is over and he has either made it or not....

Yesterday was a historic day for my favorite southpaw. The team was on television for the first time this year. Buddy was captured a number of times warming up in his bullpen while looking focused and ready. He was called in a crucial moment at the end of the game and took the first loss of his college career (on television...national tv.....with highlights and low lights....)...and the losing pitcher was "Buddy...."

Oy! Poor guy...it is one thing to lose your first college game, and another thing to do it so publicly.....ouch! Buddy is not a gracious loser...neither was/am I. When you compete, you compete to win. When he was a young boy and would lose a game, I would pull out one of my tough tennis loss stories...."Yes, I remember the day when the team relied on my victory to win the title and I was smoked in two sets by a girl with one leg who was blind...." He never liked my stories....

Back to Buddy...yes, the game was lost yesterday. he was on the mound. Was it his fault? Sure, if the victory depending on him striking everyone out. However, if the victory was based on "team" play, then he did not lose it. It seems that there are 9 guys on the field for a reason. Therefore, when someone throws a ball to first base, the person catching the ball needs to have his foot on the base for an out. Also, when throwing a ball from the outfield to try to get an out at home plate, the thrown ball should land in the vicinity of the catcher. Do you see where I am going with these comments? One last thing, with no one out, don't try to steal an extra base. If the bases are loaded with no outs, learn to place a bunt or send the ball into the outfield for a run to score...just the basics as I see it.

Am I trying to get Buddy off the hot seat? No, he takes the loss on. He was on the mound. He wants to do this for a living. Therefore it is time to place wins and losses in perspective and develop a "thick skin." According to a very forlorn pitcher, the other guys felt that it was his fault. "All of the guys?" was my question. Were they watching the same game that I watched? Probably, therefore, I cannot believe that every member of the team has decided that he was to blame for their losing by one run in the bottom of the 9th. If they do, then they do not understand the game that they have played for years. Therefore, I believe that Buddy is overreacting and overly-sensitive. After the third phone call home, he mentioned that some of the guys stopped by his room to tell him that it was not his fault...no one blames him, and so on...this is what a team is all about. Taking wins and losses in stride and deciding how to improve for the next outing...not pointing fingers at each other.

So, what is BP Mom's perspective? Here goes....I keep it very simple...you win some...you lose some....Dennis van der Meer, a tennis professional once told me during a clinic: "you should win two and lose one...two wins for ego boosting...one loss for humility". There you have it. Competition is based on a balance. The balance lies in the ability to treat victory and defeat the same. Winning and losing with grace are important. Can I tell that to a 19 year old pitcher who lost his first game on national television? No, not yet. He has to learn it on his own. He has to become tougher. As he said yesterday: "this will never happen again. I will train until I become the best." I have no doubts. As his coach texted him...."I have faith in you..." As his mom, I do too. Scars toughen the skin.....so do losses. As dad said: "If losing didn't feel so bad, winning would not feel so good...." Words to consider as he looks ahead to future challenges.....