back in action

I'm back! Well, sort of....it's been a big week with big meetings and bigger preparations for classes. I have let my guard down this summer and find that I am waaaay behind in my prep work, therefore, as a punishment to myself, I could not write....but now, I am kind of ready. I begin my first class in 45 minutes. This class will last until 1 pm. Then I have a quick break and run to my next class until 4 pm. I told Tink that if she wants dinner on Thursday nights, the ball is in her court....or the frying pan is in her hands. Can anyone say "pizza"?

We had a grocery store a few years ago offer a special on Monday nights. it was called "Cheep Chicken Mondays." Yes, the chicken was cheap and dry. The store no longer offers the dinner meal, and so, no more cheep chicken on Monday nights. No great culinary loss...

What has been going on? Well, Tink was bounced out of her class because we paid the tuition a day late. There was no way she could get into the same required class again, so she will be hanging out until mid-October when the next class is offered. Once again, I have to keep everything on the radar including tuition bills. Will this super vigilance ever end? Nope....

By the way, I told Tink the minute she hears the garage door open later today, she is to pull out the Merlot and greet me with a glass....too much? Hey, I am in class for 8 continuous hours.


I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich to inhale as I walk down the hall. The students are already miffed at me since I refuse to print the syllabus. I posted it online. If they want a hard copy, they should print it, otherwise, I am the "eco-friendly professor" this week. That title will get me nowhere....just a few angry stares in class.

Speaking of class, with the first class, I have to announce that no one is allowed to sleep while attending any of my classes. Too much? Can you believe that this is one of my policies? The second policy is no Facebook or email while I am speaking...again...too much? The third policy is that you may eat, but nothing with garlic and onions. It can create an unfriendly atmosphere in the tight spaces. Yep, I have students who will do anything in class except listen. Then they come to me and ask a question that I answered in 5 different ways over the class period. When the answer is not what they wanted, they give me a look like: "You gonna burn, sista....gonna take you down....just watch...I am gonna text in class whether you like it or not...."

I just smile when I get these looks. I have told dad many times, if I show up dead, suspect one of my students who earned a "B" rather than an "A" on a paper that he or she wrote 15 minutes before class started.

Speaking of dead....I heard a commercial on the radio that cracked me up. At 6:30 am. it is hard to make me laugh. it was a commercial for a funeral home. The tag line is "we want to add the 'fun' in your 'fun'eral..." After laughing, I thought....superb idea....Sure, funerals are sad, but they don't have to be. After all, heaven is a pretty nifty place. So, rather than crying that I am gone, party on....Tink will greet you at the funeral home's door with a glass of Merlot. I will have vanilla vanilla cupcakes for the guests, then as people leave, I will have party bags....What will be in the party bags? Well, I am thinking that I will duplicate the contents of my purse: Tissues, breath mints, loose change, and chap stick. For the kids, I will add some super hero stickers...enough about death...I have to move on to my first 4 hour class.

Oy! Shoot me....nah.....don't shoot me...meet me at the class room door with a big cup of Starbucks coffee. After drinking it, I will be ready for any lethal gaze, rolled eyes, or blank stares....By the way, I know when people are on the Zappos website, so I am now ready to go!

Getting back on track

Hiya! It's an afternoon post for BPM....This morning, we had our district play offs....remember the team that I asked to be taken out of the line up since I have a big loss record? Well, the other gals lost today, so it's over for a few weeks until something called "Fall Cup" season starts. Yep, we play tennis year round. No wonder the knees feel like liquid. Ah, no big deal...I'm pretty tough....yah...right! Really, we have a great time and it helps to alleviate some of the pent up anxieties. Hitting a tennis ball is legal and good for you...People of all sizes, shapes, and ages enjoy the sport.....It also brings us together for a few laughs....

Enough of a tennis commercial.....

The big kid is now at school. I heard from him last night when he asked how to heat up the ziti. After the quick instructions, there was the usual "click"....Although, I did text him today to tell him that Tink and I saw the highest paid major league pitcher playing with his sons in the park today. A junior high girls soccer team were jumping up and down asking the poor guy for a photo. That's when I put the cell phone camera down and continued on my walk. By the way, his sons are soooo cute!

Nothing else going on. I have to get my work done since classes begin next week. I have procrastinated long enough. However, I sit down at the computer and just stare at the screen. I don't want to think or type. What's wrong with me? I can't say that I am burned out since I have not been in a classroom since late May. So, why can't I get moving on this?

I have a few thoughts (not about my work...about not doing my work)......

Thought 1: Nothing....I have nothing left in the ole noodle....

Thought 2: I have turned into big hunk of worthless protoplasm like the nuns used to call us in elementary school...They also called us "Bold, brazen articles...." Got to think about that one...do they mean an article of clothing, speech or something else?

Thought 3: I am not done vacationing or relaxing yet.

Thought 4: I need a bit or stress and anxiety to get going (I think that I am getting warmer here).

Thought 5: I am tired and just uninterested in the content therefore, I don't want to ignite the brain cells. Actually, I like my job.....really....

Thought 6: I am lazy.....

Actually, I believe it is a combination of Thoughts 1 through 6 although I don't think that I am worthless protoplasm....

All I have to do is edit what I have already written. To do that, I need to be alert. Sadly, my post lunch brain's neurons are not firing quickly or at all.
 So, it might be time for me to watch a reality show for a while and anesthetize some brain cells. Speaking of which, doesn't alcohol kill brain cells? Maybe...I don't remember....

Have a super afternoon!

Sniff sniff

Good morning! Well, he is gone....yep, back to school....last night while cleaning the dinner dishes, I let myself cry a bit...OK, not a bit...a lot...after all, I needed to lose some fluid after diving into the "thank you" cake that he bought for us. After picking up his last paycheck at the bakery, he also brought home a chocolate cake with the phrase "thank you" on it...yeah...I was touched...perhaps too much. And so, the tears flowed and continued throughout the night and this morning.

He has to go. The kid is continuing to develop as a person and student. He has goals and is looking forward to being with the guys. Family time is over for now. And so....moving on.....

My semester at work begins today and I have to think about how I am going to fit into the fall ward robe. Last night I watched Project Runway. A designer had to create a new look for a "plus size" woman. Throughout the entire show, he threw daggers and darts at this poor woman who was a normal size and had four kids. He even made her cry. I was actually livid watching the show. Is that what designers think? That we have to be pencil thin to look good and feel comfortable in our skin....??? Well, I'm not buying it or anything that this designer is going to sell...he lost my business with his snarkiness.

I was appalled, then I thought about my pant suits that I generally wear in the classroom and got worried. It's time to amp up the work outs and sew my mouth shut for a few weeks. There is nothing worse than using butter to grease the legs and pull the pants over the hips. I guess it was too much butter that got them that way. Actually, I don't use butter, I just don't wear the pants and stick with the skirts until I lose my summer puffiness....

On another note, tomorrow, the district championships in tennis begin. I will be on the sidelines encouraging the team on to victory. If they win the first round, I will probably play in the afternoon. Ah...the pressure of trying to get the mojo back is daunting. It may be time for some guided imagery, meditation, or a confidence check. I obviously have to figure out why I am on a losing streak. Or, maybe I don't....the pressure is to win for my team mates. If it was all about me, I could take the losses in stride. But I feel as if I am letting the girls down, so there is the stress.

Now, I am feeling tense....yep....Buddy is at school which makes me happy and sad. Work begins today which tenses me....and the playoffs tomorrow are giving me agita....Man oh man, I now need that vacation......although I must confess that I am a bit of a mess today.

You should see what my hair looks like. The tile guy came at 7:30 am to fix the tile in the shower and looked stunned when he saw me....what? He's never seen an on-the-verge- of plus size woman who is stressed out and has cried all night....?? Come on, dude....no big deal...happens all the time...be happy that you are here to fix the tile and not design my clothes.

And I am off......

Have a great day!

Finding the mojo

Good morning! We are counting down to Friday when the big kid leaves home for his junior year. Thankfully, I still have Tink around to hang out with and keep me sanely insane....

We have lots and lots to do....but first, let me share a conversation that we had on the way home from campus on Sunday afternoon. He asked me how my tennis game was going and why I was on a losing skid. It's true that I have not won a match for several weeks despite outplaying the opponents. Hmmmm, I had to be careful with this one because......

I had a conversation with Buddy's physical therapist who said that he was going to be fine and better than ever but he had to get over the injury/surgery in his mind. In other words, his head will prevent him from achieving what he can attain as a pitcher. He has to leave the surgery and injury in the past and focus his complete attention on the current pitch. According to the therapist, all athletes go through this after an injury or surgery....all athletes? Including weekend warriors with bad knees? This is interesting.....

Ok...so....as a pseudo-athlete...weekend warrior....former college player.....and former Zumba and kick boxing devotee....perhaps my head is getting in my own way. I did return from surgery earlier than I should have and still keep myself from totally going for a shot...after all....I want to keep the cartilage in my right knee...so maybe I need to think this thing through to develop a personal philosophy especially one about losing.

First, I did not want to share with the kid that I am a total "head case". He already knows that....Second, I want him to know that a person recovering from an injury or surgery can be better than ever....So, I had to consider how I was going to discuss my losing streak...

The conversation went something like this:

Leftie: "Uh ma, what's the deal with you losing so much?"

BPM: "Yep....can't seem to pull a match out these days...."

L: "Why?"

BPM: "Good question....great question....maybe...I stink...."

L: "Got to get out of your rut....."

BPM: "OK, any words of wisdom will be most appreciated..."

L:"Go back to fundamentals...."

BPM: "Thanks, kiddo...will focus on the swing...."

Well now, here is the kid giving his mama advice when she needs it the most. I think that he is also concerned that I am destroying the family name as I am in the loss column on a regular basis. Am I embarrassing him? I had not thought about that notion until right now. Perhaps I am giving the BP family a bad name and thought of as a choke-artist as opposed to someone who is a winner.

OY! Now that hurts...

Nah....I will tell you why I am losing so much. I started back too soon (ego)....and have been playing with new partners, none of whom I am completely comfortable with yet (except Red and Mizz G)....Not that this is an excuse, but doubles is about trusting a partner. So far, I have not been able to relax with the new people that I am playing with....Each person plays differently and has a unique style. It takes time to adjust to new partners.

However, this again is not the reason for the losses. The other team has outplayed us. That's it. They have played better. And so, here is my philosophy...I am comfortable with losing when I do my best and the opposing team is better. After all, it is a competition. If I play poorly and lose because of my inability to make a play, then I am hard on myself.

In contrast, a pitcher is the same way. If he is unable to throw a ball past the batter, then his team deserves to lose. Even the best pitchers and weekend warriors have bad days. its part of the highs and lows of competition. In fact, it is what brings a person back to the field or court.

And so, my team (not thanks to me, but in spite of me) has made the district playoffs this weekend, where we will fight to go to the regional championships, then the nationals (cool, huh?). I have suggested to my captain that she should bench me if she really wants to win. Therefore, I will be at the districts in street clothes unless they need me because the entire team got food poisoning from the donuts.  

Consequently, I will cheer and be happy for their success and work even harder to be more of a presence next year. No worries...my ego can take it...sort of...got to get my "mojo" back...soon....indoor season will be starting soon....

Enjoy the day!

Moving Day

Hello
It's been a busy few days as the preparations for college continue. On Saturday, Dad picked up the rental van  to move the furniture back to college. It spent the week in the garage and has lost its lease...time to go. Then I took the big kid shopping to buy things for the house. What things? Well, we headed to the Dollar Store and naturally spent more than a dollar. After filling four bags we moved onto.....

HHGregg, Lowe's and Target searching for a little fridge for his bedroom. Why does he need a bedroom refrigerator when he has a big one on the first floor? I dunno....why not? His response was that he did not want to share his Gatorades.....hmmm....

Then it was time to load the van and the SUV and take the three hour trip to campus. It was a tough trip since I could not see out the back window since the car was overloaded but Tink and I made it unscathed and parked in front of the "dream house".....and a dream it is....

As I looked at the house from the street, my mind reverted to my college days and I would have killed for this house. It has a front porch, four bedrooms, a decent size kitchen, big living room, and back enclosed porch and morning room. It was and still is....a wonderful place to live and attend college. Wow...BPM is overwhelmed....

Then I walked in and saw the dirt, cracked windows, mold, dust, one bathroom, and back door that had a one inch gap at the bottom. Reality hit...whew....glad that I was not going to live there.

It was time to move the furniture while the infamous sofa was waiting its turn in the rain to squeeze through the opening. Dad did not think that we could get it through but somehow with a few maneuvers, we managed to push it through and dropped it in the living room. As we worked to carry the rest of the bedroom furniture up the stairs, I could again see the beauty of living here for the next three years. The back yard is huge and there are six other houses that lead to the yard including the home of more of his team mates. This is a place where the guys can hang out while someone cooks burgers and Dog plays the guitar. Oh yeah, Buddy wanted to buy a ping pong table for beer pong, then quickly changed his mind. I think he was talking out loud and forgot who he was speaking to. As his mother, I was not going to endorse a beer pong table on the front porch. I still do not know the rules of the game and am sure that the idea is not a good one.


So, on to his bedroom. This room is in the front of the house. We squeezed the bed in and some of my $20 furniture. Einstein's mom's sweet television fit perfectly in the corner of the room as Buddy quickly set up the computer games. The mini fridge, broken dresser, and free book shelves were added. Rather than placing books on the shelves, he lovingly placed his sneakers. By the way, I did not move any books in....hmm....what the heck...not even a dictionary....does this spell "trouble" or "trubble"?


Now, let's briefly chat about the room mates. Dog took the first floor bedroom next to the kitchen. it is the biggest room but he has his musical equipment and will have to climb the stairs to use the bathroom OR run out back and use a tree.

OC will have the room directly across from Buddy. He wants to squeeze a queen size bed in the room (good luck getting it up the stairs). The bed will fit, but not much else. His parents shipped his trick out truck across country where one of the team mates picked it up at the train station for him last week. The team mate has been driving it ever since. OC will arrive from California today and will see hundreds of extra miles on his truck.


The Gopher (transfer from the Midwest) will hit town later this week while Dog returns over the weekend. I was happy that we moved Buddy in yesterday. There was no traffic and we breezed in and out without difficulty. Dad will bring him back to campus on Friday after his shoulder and eye appointment. Then he is gone.....more about that later....got little tear balls in my eyes right now....


Have a great day!

PS: While doing ten loads of his laundry last week.....I found the "jersey" from Ohio. Now we can send it back and tear the $250.00 bill for it.

 

De-Stressing 101

So, how did the stress intervention go last night? Uh, not too well. When the big kid got home from work, he went straight to bed. I thought that I might have an opportunity at dinner to chat, so I prepared the world's most fabulous shrimp tacos. No one can resist my tacos...but the kid went out with his dad to throw then went to the gym to work out until 10 pm. By the time he got home, I was too tired to listen to anything....so, my plan remains inactive. Although, I am doing some "mom things" to help him to feel better.

What are these "mom things"? Well, his room looks like one of the houses in Hoarders with bottles, wrappers, clothes, and books strewn about the area. There is work out equipment, baseball gear, and dirty socks and crumpled paper. I have deliberately stayed away from the mess since the guy is now a young adult. So, this is his domain...not mine....then it hit me....what can I do as a parent to help someone feel better and dig out of their anxiety? The answer is to do something that can alleviate some of the existing stress. Therefore, I entered the laundry room with a mask, goggles, and gloves on and started a day long process of doing the kid's laundry. Yeah, I caved in....

Why did I cave in when I have always said that the clothes and their maintenance are up to my kids? I guess that I did it because he is not lounging around watching television. In fact, I wish that he would take more time to relax but he doesn't...so I am going to plow through the tee shirts, wash, fold, and pack them for the trip to college next week. I will use the fabric softener sheets with the mountain fresh scent. This should help to alleviate some of the angst as he focuses on regaining his composure.

After all, he is going back into the stress of school, practice, and try outs. Fall ball is about to begin and he is nervous about achieving his goals. He desperately wants to start this year. But he is coming off surgery. The physical therapist told him that he is going to be 30% better than he was. He was pretty darn good before the surgery, so this will be a major improvement. Why is he so worried?

Like all of us, he is nervous about the "unknown". The unknowns are the new recruits who are arriving as transfers and new freshmen. He is worried about the 'walk-ons'. He is also worried that he will not have his "stuff" in time to make an impact on the season. Ahhh.....now he makes me crazy. Do all parents go through this? I guess the answer is that most involved parents, friends, and family members have a vested interest in the happiness of their loved ones; so, yeah...most people go through the ups and downs....It's a roller coaster ride, I tell you. One moment you are climbing to the top, the next minute, the car is taking you screaming toward the bottom.

And so, where do we go from here? No where....I will continue to do the laundry, fold the clothes, use the little Tide stain stick, and place them in a plastic bin for transport to college. I will also be around the house for when he wants to talk or ignore me. Now, how is that for a plan?

Gotta go and transfer the wet clothes into the dryer. Have a great day!

Two ears and one mouth

A major thunderstorm just went through the neighborhood with lots of rain, lightening and thunder....kind of scary as the thunder boomed overhead.

It's over now and all clear for me to exit the house and run the errands.

It's my last week before I return to work and I want to cram as much relaxation in as possible. But how does that happen? I can't tell my body and mind to relax AND the more that I think about it, the more stressed I am....

Speaking of stress, my big kid is unbelievably stressed out. Besides being exhausted with work, working out, and physical therapy, he got a message from the coaches that there will be a series of endurance challenges. They will not share what that means but word is that there are 44 guys trying out for 35 positions. Through the endurance challenges the coaches want 5 guys to drop out. Then the battle will begin for the remaining roster spots.

When Buddy shared this with me, I asked why he was worried....his answer was that he is always worried. Why? You are in better shape than ever. Why do you think that you will not be able to handle the challenges? Worry about the other guys who have made the sofa their home this summer. They should worry as they begin to drop on the obstacle course. Dude...let it go....

Naturally, he cannot. Therefore, he is worried, stressed, and a tad bit salty. Yes, I said salty. We have not had a decent conversation in days. It's not that I am trivializing his worries and fears BUT the kid is in amazing shape. He takes one day a week off for his body to replenish so what is in his mind...besides some dust, neurons, and gray matter? I dunno...what the heck?

What can a mom do when her son is so worried that his personality changes from wacky to salty and he closes himself off to the people who can help? How do I penetrate the barrier of angst? It's pretty thick so I have to be creative.....let me see....if it was me, how would I want someone to help me through the turmoil of life.....

OK, here is what I would want:

1. Someone to listen and not offer advice
2. Someone to hang in there when I turn from Dr Jekyll into Mrs Hyde.
3. Someone to tell me that I have a flattering hair style that takes 10 years off my age.
4. Someone to give me a hug when I need it.
5. Someone to watch a chick flick with me without complaining.
6. Someone who loves me no matter what and shuts up about their experiences as a college tennis player.....

Ahhh...now we have it. In order to penetrate the layers of self pity and worry, I have to be myself.....offer support when needed and back off when it is not. In other words, look for clues that he wants to chat and stop whatever I am doing to listen....just listen...the power of listening can be the most invaluable tool when dealing with a person whose emotions are frayed. Keep silent....watch for nonverbal behaviors...and offer an ear when necessary.

It's cheap and I have two ears. I don't have to take him to his favorite Mexican restaurant (although that would help)....all I have to do is offer myself as a tool and not a weapon.

I think that I can do it. yep, this should be easy....all I have to do is keep my mouth shut and open my eyes and ears....easy right? Uh, yeah...maybe...now I am stressing....

Making preparations to return

A quiet morning in the BPM household....dad and the big kid drove a rented van to the apartment to pick up the bed, table and furniture, clothes, and kitchen equipment. He also has to take down the Christmas tree, pack the de-flated Irene, and pull down the chile lights that are on the bannister. Got a call from dad who reports that the apartment is disgusting and the carpet is beyond dirty. The vacuum that he took from our house can stay at the new rental. It will not come into my home ever again...and I mean ever. Guys, keep it....vaya con Dios.....by the way, make sure you use it at least once a month...or maybe twice....

It seems Big Red and LW have vacated the apartment but did not tidy their mess. There are dishes in the sink and bedrooms, trash strewn throughout, and caked food on the counters and sink. Therefore it is up to Buddy and Angel to clean and throw out the trash in order to get our deposit back.

 Here is my thought....my son would never have left the place a mess (with me knowing about it) for the last exiting room mate to clean because I would not have let him. Leaving the place trashed with the chile lights still hanging for the last guy to clean is very inconsiderate. It is going to take him at least two hours to clean the place, vacuum, and throw out the trash. Dad is going for a walk while the guys clean. Good for him....By the way, we are still waiting for the guys to reimburse us for the $500+ cable bill. Will we ever see it? Will we see the apartment deposit? I am not going to hold my breath on this one.

Since the house is not ready until the end of the week, the contents of the apartment are coming home. I can look at the how they look and held up over the past year. I can do an inspection to see if he needs to replace anything. Yesterday, I stopped at an estate sale and picked up a collapsible wet clothes hanger for the porch or bathroom for $2. That's my kind of sale.....

And so, we are coming to the close of a really nice summer. It's true that we did not take a vacation once again, but sometimes "stay-cations" are the best when the pace slows and we can enjoy time with each other, family, and friends. As far as I am concerned, I do not need to fly anywhere to relax. I can relax in the backyard, on my sofa, or while swimming at the Y.

Tink and I went to the beach last week for the day. We never saw any sand since the rain came and flooded parts of the Jersey shore. Oh well....Maybe next year....

We have some cool away games coming up next year. Apparently the team is going to Florida over President's Weekend and Texas for spring break week. I plan on going to both sets of games. I have been to Texas and Florida, but not as a fan of a baseball team. It should be fun....or not. We'll see how the team is since they lost three guys to the Majors.

Speaking of the Majors, I am still keeping my fingers, toes, and eyes crossed that Coach T is called up.  He has been laboring in the Minors for so long. I wonder how he keeps his anxiety in check. After all , he turned thirty this year. How much longer can he go? I know of some pitchers who play until the early forties, but the body starts to break down at some point. Will he be able to hang in there physically until he gets "the call"? I hope so.


With that said, it's time to hit the stores and pick up more supplies for Buddy's new house. He needs a shower curtain, some pots and pans, trash cans, trash bags, and so on and on and on and on and on and on.......................................

Have a great day!

Making plans

Good morning! I just saw Al Roker and Matt Lauer in USA wrestling uniforms...not pretty.....

The summer is quickly coming to an end and we have begun the process of putting together a house for the big kid. Thanks to Einstein's mom, he has a television. Thanks to the neighbors down the street who are downsizing, he has beat-up furniture. And lastly, thanks to BP mom, he has what he needs to be comfortable in his new place.

Although we continue to have interrupted conversations.....

"Do you think that I need a fan in every room of the house?" "No"

"Do you think that I need rocking chairs for the porches?" "That would be nice."

"Do you think that I need a lock for my bed room door?" "Most definitely."

"Do you think that I need a grill for cookouts?" "Not allowed."

Now, here come my questions that are still not answered to this date:

"How much is the monthly rent?"  "Don't know."

"When are you moving in?" "As soon as I can."

"Who is going to help you to move the sofa and furniture out of the apartment now that Big Red and LW have vacated the premises?" "Angel"

"Who is going to clean the apartment so that we get the deposit back?" "I guess me. Will need to take the house vacuum since the little one that you gave me broke last October."

"When are your former room mates going to pay your dad for the cable bill?" "Dunno"

"Where are you going to store your furniture after you remove it from the apartment? After all, you cannot move into the house right away..." "uh....our garage?"

"Last question....what is your major? "This week, it is journalism....."

Yep, we have terrific conversations as we plan the next phase of the big kid's life....living in a house with three other guys who will not try to kill each other by October. Since California was drafted by the Giants, a transfer athlete from the Midwest is joining the guys as the 4th room mate. Let's see...they would rather have a guy that they never met take the last bedroom as opposed to living with the infamous LW. That speaks volumes, although LW rented a place across the street and plans to be a big presence in the house. Last year, he spent a great deal of time lounging and playing video games while composing rap songs about lost love on the sofa. I'm sure he went through some type of sofa-withdrawal over the summer.    Now he has the soft cushions to look forward to as he crosses the street and takes his place on the middle of the couch.

Oh boy, the stories that are going to fly out of this place. Once again, I will have to go over the house rules with the guys and share my special brand of wisdom. I am sure that they will roll their eyes as they pleasantly not listen to their room mate's mom.

Although Buddy learned a thing or two when he and his posse went to a party last month. He and his friend left the party early (2 am ish) as the destruction started. A group of drunken partiers began to break and overturn furniture, destroyed pictures, and threw peanut butter sandwiches onto the ceiling. They broke holes through the walls as the room mate watched and did not stop the destruction. According to witnesses, the drunken melee then went out to the yard as these entitled brats broke trees. Buddy left before the party got out of hand as the flying peanut butter sandwiches were launched. Currently, the landlord is taking the room mates to court to pay for damages to the trees. Really? Why didn't the room mates stop the destruction? I think that the answer is that there were too many to stop the action and they were too inebriated to care.

With that said, the big kid is learning quite a bit through observation and trial and error....guess what? One day he will have the stories and wisdom to share with his son and/or daughter (or both) as they goes off into the world too....

Gotta go!

What's next?

Hello! It's a sunny day and the summer flowers are looking gorgeous. It's also a quiet morning in the BPM household. Both kids have the mornings off and I have the peace and solitude of no one including the dog to interrupt  the morning routine of coffee, newspaper, and Olympics. Now I can write without multitasking and mediating who gets the car keys.

And so, whazzup? Nothing! It is a typical summer day....

The fascination with the Olympics is now over. I am tired of the over-commercialization and the commercials. The Today show and post event interviews are bothering me. If one more correspondent asks a gold medal winner "What are you feelings?" I am going to scream. That's it? That's the question? About feelings?

Hmmm...let's consider this....how would you feel if your entire life was dedicated to working out and sacrifice? You finally achieve the pinnacle of your career and you are asked about your feelings. If they really thought about it, the question should be after offering sincere congratulations: "Now, what are you going to do with the time that you spent training for this event?" In other words, you suddenly have 8 hours in your day which you can achieve another goal or get a real job. Not that I want to be a buzz killer but that is the next logical step? I have not seen any want ads in the newspaper for former Olympians.

So, what's next?

Here is how I would do it:

BPM: "Hey, great effort....sorry about you coming in last in the event, but who ever said life was fair?"

Athlete: "Ah..no  one said that it was fair, but come on...I am better than all of them including that Phelps guy."

BPM: "Yeah...I saw that...the only difference between you and the Phelps guy is that he has 19 medals. So, what's next on your agenda? The London Tour....meeting with the Queen's fourth butler twice removed....or perhaps you are going to find a job?

Athlete: "No need for a job, I am going to live with my parents until I marry the heiress that I met at the gym last week."

BPM: "Gotcha...well good luck with that and great effort...."

Athlete: "Thanks for not asking about my feelings...."

BPM: "No problem...it's a lame question...."

That is how it should be done.....

One last thought about retiring athletes, once they retire from badmiton or table tennis, what is the next logical step? I am not sure....but this is something that should be researched by a team of professionals What happens when all of the parties and celebrations are over? How does an athlete adjust to life? I read in the paper today that several members of the Cameroon Olympic squad have left the games without permission. Where did they go? Are they starting their new lives in England or have they moved on to another location? Did they get jobs or will they travel and find their bliss? Europe is amazing this time of the year, perhaps they are going to get a transit pass and tour the sights.

With that said, it is time to accomplish some of my own goals.....no medals involved...just a pay check to pay the mortgage....

Enjoy!

Working harder than hard

Good morning! Another hot and juicy day in the northeast as August flies by....Naturally, all of the back to school commercials are on the television. How do I know? Well.....I have been watching the Olympics....didyaknow?

So, my favorite South African lost in the semifinals. once again, kudos. This guy is my new hero. How many of us "able-bodied" psuedo-athletes would take on training for the Olympics? The majority would not make the team anyway...which leads me to consider the question....

"Is it all worth it?"

What do I mean? Hmmm...consider this....there are so many athletes training day in and day out for one chance to prove themselves in front of a global audience. Yep, this is pretty neat. But we, at home, have no idea what it takes to become an elite athlete, although I have an idea.

Let's think about my big leftie....he is up at 6 am to get to his job selling pastries and washing dishes (he calls himself the "Supervisor of Dish Sanitation", which is a fancy name for dish washer). He will work until 2 pm, return home for a snack and leave to go to the gym for 2 plus hours. Tomorrow, he will go to PT for 3 plus hours. This is his off-season routine. During the season, he has time to work out, practice, go to class, do homework, and sleep for a few hours.


What makes me a bit crazy is the criticism that the athletes take when they are considered "special." They are special so they get first crack at course selection and tutors. That's about it. Yep, they do receive clothes, sneakers, and food money, but that's about all. They also are victims of misunderstanding. Unless they maintain a good grade point average, they are not eligible. In my son's case, he has the minimum plus...his dad has a grade point average minimum or else....got it?

Yep, dear old dad can be tough on the big guy BUT his toughness and expectations are no greater than any other interested parents. Yesterday I met a friend in the grocery store who announced that her sophomore in college son was to continue to live in the dorms until his grades improved. If they did not improve this year, he would not be allowed to live in the frat house which has been a long term goal of his...therefore, since she has the fingers on the check book, this kid is bearing down and cracking open the books.

Crazy...some parents never say anything to their children about studying because they just do it. However, my kids need more guidance and I don't get it. If I left them alone, they might fail. OK, is that so bad? Uh yeah....if you are paying for the course, it is. Since I have invested money into their futures as well as time, guidance, patience, and a whole lot of gasoline, I need to watch my investments.

That may sound  over the top, but I always ask if they finished their assignments and reading. Nine times out of ten, I am sure that they are not telling me the truth. Now, if you think that I am a helicopter parent, you are wrong. I have not seen either of my children's report cards in years. I actually know that they are doing their best, so I have backed off and am not monitoring them. Although, I am interested, but not overly so. It's their life. I cannot live it....just around it....so BPM is a hands-off kind of girl. They will achieve their success on their own terms and time and not because they are afraid to report honestly to me. Consequently, I let the conversation about grades and reports go....but I still ask the question. Sometimes, I hear: "Got a B+...got a D....got an A!" Yep, I hear it all.....

And...it's not so bad. Look....I know that they have the tools to succeed. They also have work ethics. I have to back off because society has changed since I was in college. There are more pressures, communication is instantaneous, and everyone seems to know your business. I hated when the teachers gave a test back with the big red grade on the top. Anyone is class watching paper distributions would see the grades. This would make me nuts. Today, the grades are given electronically, but the students still know how everyone is doing. The lack of privacy is rampant.

With that said, I have backed off for years....ask a question or two every now and then, and am open to supporting them when they ask for it. Otherwise, I have my own issues to deal with...like who am I going to root for in the hurdles?

Have a great day!