I'm back! Well, sort of....it's been a big week with big meetings and bigger preparations for classes. I have let my guard down this summer and find that I am waaaay behind in my prep work, therefore, as a punishment to myself, I could not write....but now, I am kind of ready. I begin my first class in 45 minutes. This class will last until 1 pm. Then I have a quick break and run to my next class until 4 pm. I told Tink that if she wants dinner on Thursday nights, the ball is in her court....or the frying pan is in her hands. Can anyone say "pizza"?
We had a grocery store a few years ago offer a special on Monday nights. it was called "Cheep Chicken Mondays." Yes, the chicken was cheap and dry. The store no longer offers the dinner meal, and so, no more cheep chicken on Monday nights. No great culinary loss...
What has been going on? Well, Tink was bounced out of her class because we paid the tuition a day late. There was no way she could get into the same required class again, so she will be hanging out until mid-October when the next class is offered. Once again, I have to keep everything on the radar including tuition bills. Will this super vigilance ever end? Nope....
By the way, I told Tink the minute she hears the garage door open later today, she is to pull out the Merlot and greet me with a glass....too much? Hey, I am in class for 8 continuous hours.
I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich to inhale as I walk down the hall. The students are already miffed at me since I refuse to print the syllabus. I posted it online. If they want a hard copy, they should print it, otherwise, I am the "eco-friendly professor" this week. That title will get me nowhere....just a few angry stares in class.
Speaking of class, with the first class, I have to announce that no one is allowed to sleep while attending any of my classes. Too much? Can you believe that this is one of my policies? The second policy is no Facebook or email while I am speaking...again...too much? The third policy is that you may eat, but nothing with garlic and onions. It can create an unfriendly atmosphere in the tight spaces. Yep, I have students who will do anything in class except listen. Then they come to me and ask a question that I answered in 5 different ways over the class period. When the answer is not what they wanted, they give me a look like: "You gonna burn, sista....gonna take you down....just watch...I am gonna text in class whether you like it or not...."
I just smile when I get these looks. I have told dad many times, if I show up dead, suspect one of my students who earned a "B" rather than an "A" on a paper that he or she wrote 15 minutes before class started.
Speaking of dead....I heard a commercial on the radio that cracked me up. At 6:30 am. it is hard to make me laugh. it was a commercial for a funeral home. The tag line is "we want to add the 'fun' in your 'fun'eral..." After laughing, I thought....superb idea....Sure, funerals are sad, but they don't have to be. After all, heaven is a pretty nifty place. So, rather than crying that I am gone, party on....Tink will greet you at the funeral home's door with a glass of Merlot. I will have vanilla vanilla cupcakes for the guests, then as people leave, I will have party bags....What will be in the party bags? Well, I am thinking that I will duplicate the contents of my purse: Tissues, breath mints, loose change, and chap stick. For the kids, I will add some super hero stickers...enough about death...I have to move on to my first 4 hour class.
Oy! Shoot me....nah.....don't shoot me...meet me at the class room door with a big cup of Starbucks coffee. After drinking it, I will be ready for any lethal gaze, rolled eyes, or blank stares....By the way, I know when people are on the Zappos website, so I am now ready to go!