Saturday, June 30, 2012

Non bucket list

Saturday! The weekend! Yeah baby....actually, Saturdays are like any other day in my book. There are errands and goals to achieve. No real time off for BPM 'cause she would not know what to do with free time....perhaps, then perhaps (sorry to be redundant) it is time to make a bucket list. You know what a bucket list is a list of things that you want to accomplish before you meet St. Peter at the Pearly Gates (she says in a very hopeful manner)......

I don't actually have a bucket list because I think that I have done everything that I want to do except see Alaska. With that said, I do have any anti-bucket list. The list is the things that I do not want to do before St. Peter and I have our meeting. Here is a list of things that are NOT on my list:

1. Pet a cobra or rattle snake. This would speed up my meeting with St Peter as I would be seeing him sooner than I had planned.

2. Parachuting out of a plane. Yes, I know that most people want to experience the freedom of soaring through the air, but I am not most people. In fact, the idea of propelling myself out of an airplane relying on a piece of fabric to save me from becoming a messy pancake is not my idea of fun. As kids, we would tie a kitchen towel around our necks and throw ourselves down the steps to pillows located at the bottom. Thinking that the towels would break our fall, we quickly learned NOT to rely on a 12 X 6" piece of absorbent cotton to save us from broken bones, teeth, and bruises.

3. Drive a racing car. Yeah, this is true...don't want to....not now, not ever. Think about it....I drive on the turnpike occasionally hitting 85 mph (too much, sorry mom). With a little piece of steel protecting me if I lost control and hit a tree, I think that St. Peter would be scolding me for being so reckless....anyway, back to racing...OK, double the speed to 170 mph...I am speeding around a small track trying to maintain control of my Penske race car and bammo....I hit the wall, the car breaks a part, and I am thrown into the air landing on my head. Yes, the head is very hard, but not hard enough at this speed. So, I am scraped off the ground and brought to the hospital. it is July and the ER is staffed by new medical school graduates who are repulsed by blood. They faint because my head has a new shape and my bones are broken and the inevitable happens...that's right..."Hello, St. Peter!"
And so, we cross race car driving from the list.

4. Run a marathon....sorry menopausal marathoner and coach, but I am not one of those people who dream about running 26 miles in a day. Yes, I admire the people who can or have done this, but I can safely say that it is not on the list. First, the knees would be screaming at me as I ran up the hills...then I would be screaming at the knees as I crawled down the hills. Then I would be praying to St. Peter to speed up our meeting and hopefully take me before I hit mile 10.

5. Do stand up said.

6. Sleep on the beach....uh uh

7. Learn a new language. This would be an ideal item for the list but I know myself pretty well and the little time that I have will not be spent on trying to learn new phrases and words. It takes commitment and I don't think that I have it at this time. But what if I am narrow minded and short sighted?...what if St. Peter only speaks Spanish? Then all I can ask him is donde esta el bano? Perhaps, I will add this to the list of things to acomplish in my down time.

8. Climb Mount Everest....too cold.

9. Walk through the rain forest....too hot.

 10. Finally, the last and certainly not least item on my non-bucket list is to become a raw vegan.  That's right...only eat raw fruits and vegetables. This would eliminate 95% of my diet. Where would vanilla vanilla cake fit in? What about the Merlot? Dang, this is too scary for me.

And so, here you have it. BPM's non bucket list. The reality is that my life is pretty nice the way that it is. If I wanted to jump out of a plane or walk through the rain forest, I could. But that would not make me happy nor feel accomplished. What makes BPM happy is spending time at home with family and friends, an occasional Merlot and piece of cake, and doing what I do best.....

As Bon Jovi sings: "I just want to live while I am's my life!" That includes maintaining a sense of right and wrong...caring for others.....Boring, yeah...probably, but I have all that I need in terms of exciting experiences. For that, when St. Peter and I finally meet, I can share with him that my life was full of love and laughter and that meeting him before the Pearly Gates was indeed the only item on my bucket list.

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