As July creeps to a close, we continue to think about the big kid moving out to his new rented home in Party Town, USA. No one is more excited than he is, so my words of wisdom have fallen on deaf ears.
For example....you are moving into a 4 bedroom home, you may think that this is a spacious wonderful sanctuary BUT in the words of BPM, "It's a party house...and you, my son, are not a die-hard partier."
Therefore, you will find people vomiting in your cleats. Different couples retiring to your bedroom and locking you out. People passing out drunk on the floor. The one toilet in the house will clog repeatedly and you will be responsible for cleaning up the mess. Hopefully, the water will not seep through the floor to the ground floor because you will be responsible for paying for the repair on the ceiling and carpet. Oh yeah....we are still waiting for last year's room mates to reimburse your father for the cable bill. By the way, every friend and faux friend from the neighborhood and high school will be knocking on your door looking for a safe floor to crash on.
There will be bugs, ants, and spiders. The sneakers and cleats are going to stink up the place. People will not flush the toilet. Friends will come just to hang out when you are trying to study for the finals. Guys will emerge from the second floor during a party wearing your underwear on their heads and think that it is funny. Personal items will be stolen or borrowed without asking your permission. No one will respect your stuff and space and you will begin to feel the pressure and start a slow burn. Then after a few days of disrespect, you will lose your temper, snap, and punch a hole in the wall that your dad has to pay to fix.
This is part of the college experience. Enjoy the trials and tribulations....just remember, I warned you....
Now, go buy yourself a plunger to unclog the toilet at the Dollar Store.
I'm going to have fun watching this one!
Have a great day!
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