The summer is going so quickly, I cannot believe that I will be back in the classroom in two weeks. That's nuts! I am just starting to relax. So it goes....I have to work on my syllabi and gather some useful information. Classes begin 8/27 as I teach a 6 week class to English as a second language students. I have done this a number of times and find that the process can be exasperating and fulfilling. For example, I would try to start a dialog and the students look at me as if I have ridiculed their children. Often, they have no idea of what I am saying. When I ask if they have any questions, they look at each other, whisper in their own language, then shake their heads 'no'. If I ask them if they understand what I am saying, they nod their heads 'yes.' This continues for 4 hours on Tuesdays for 6 weeks until I am screaming 'uncle.'
Not all is lost. There are times when the group actually understands what I am teaching and the class is enjoyable. Yet, I have learned a great deal along the way. For example, the first time that I taught the course, they stared at me while I was making a few points. I had no idea if they understood, so I said: "Do you understand?....okey dokey?...let's move on." Their expressions seemed startled each time I said "okey dokey." Later, I mentioned this phenomenon to another instructor who is bilingual. She laughed and said: "Do you know what 'okey dokey' means in their language?" Uh duh....isn't this a universal word like 'yes', 'no' and 'jingle bells'? OK, sister, what does okey dokey mean? She put it bluntly..."it means that you are striking something very hard with a hammer....over and over again....with anger....meaning to hurt it." Oh......I left the phrase okey dokey that day for another rookie to take over. I now stick to 'thumbs up' or 'thumbs down.'
And so, as college looms, the big kid continues in his quest to prepare for his new digs and the baseball season. He is excited about both. Loving living alone, he wants to decorate his apartment in a very tasteful way. What is tasteful to a ball player and college student, may be considered distasteful to any Bravo interior decorator. Naturally, there will be the perfunctory beer signs that light up, the chili light strands on the deck, and perhaps a poster or two of some girl singing in a bikini. I have seen the baseball posters already and he plans to pick up a poster in every city that he visits over the next few years. This sounds like a decent plan.
Tink and I have hit every bargain store in the northeast and I think that he is ready except for furniture and lamps. Since the sofa is not coming, he does not have anywhere to sit besides his bed. He also does not have a table except for his laptop. I am going to let him figure out this part. Momma has done enough. It is now his responsibility.
Time to say 'sayonara' and run to Zumba class. The extra pounds are now laughing at me as I try to lose them. It did not take long for them to attach themselves to me, but it is a bugger trying to lose them. Even using my weight watchers points, I am failing in a big way. Yet, I am not despondent, I can still touch my toes as my stomach balances itself on my thighs. Not a pretty picture? Yeah, tell me about it.
There are times when I want to give up on it. After all, if I knew that I was going to die tomorrow, I would do several things....go to church one last time, call and see my loved ones to tell them that I love them, and grab a pint of mint chocolate chip ice cream, cheesecake, and a banana....maybe some whipped cream, too. I would sit on the sofa with my feet up, dog in the lap, eat, drink a glass of Merlot (natch...), and wait for the end. Oh, yeah, I would NOT do the dishes. Instead, I'll use the dusty Lenox china for the first time since I got it as a wedding gift.
When the end comes, I'll have gained a few pounds but die with a smile on my face and fork in my hand. What a way to go. Bing Crosby died on his beloved golf course. Similarly, I would wobble to the pearly gates and bring St. Peter a bottle of pinot as a host
gift. Goofy? Perhaps.....or maybe....not....
Off to class....Peace!