Monday, September 23, 2013

Oh Lawd! You look hot!

Hello! Fall weather has hit the region and I am not ready yet. The waistbands are still too tight and I am going to have to take drastic measures this week.....more about that later. A quick involves food or the lack thereof.

On to a very new research study that I actually agree with even before I see how the study was conducted. It seems that men stop caring about how they look at age 46. In other words, they give up. On the other hand, women gut it out until 59. Moreover, men start to give up 26 months after they are married.

Is this true? How many people did they poll? Did they look at the labels and sizes of their subjects' clothes? Did the researchers actually ask the question: "Do you care how you look today? Really? When did you stop caring?" Interesting....who in their right minds would have dreamed up this study and methodology? Perhaps one day while sitting at the picnic table eating her bagged lunch outside the classrooms, a social sciences professor declared after observing the clothes and demeanor of the teaching faculty suggested: "Hey, these people don't care how they look! I wonder how old they are and if they are married! Something to ponder....perhaps I can get a big government grant to pay for this inane study???"

And so, what are my thoughts on the topic? Well, as you can surmise, based on the number of months in my life that I have been on a diet, I do care. Although I frequently think: 'why?' Isn't there a point where a person just says "screw it" and plows into the cheesecake with a fork without cutting a slice? Aren't we supposed to have some fun in life? After all, eating rice cakes and Special K bars are far from fulfilling. It leaves a person wanting more and more...yet, we deprive ourselves in order to stay the magic size.

Also, how much money do we pay for hair and make up? How many of us start the coupon clipping as the end of year sales start and wait until everything on the rack is 75% off with a 20% off coupon? All we really want to do is hang out at home with our stretchy yoga or athletic pants on and a tee shirt, so why are we looking for the next great look?

I remember attending my 5 year reunion after high school; I guess that I was 23 years old and was astonished at how the guys looked...balding and fat. On the other hand, the girls looked amazing.

This year marks a big anniversary of the high school football team's  city championship win. I was in the stands and watched Big M, my brother in law, catch the wining touchdown in the end zone. It was a super day for the high school and now they are marking its anniversary in October and honoring the original football team. Obviously, Big M will be a large part of the celebration.

I mentioned this to Big Sis (Big M was her high school and college boyfriend and now they are married....), and said: "You have to get something special for the celebration to wear." her response was: "I am wearing jeans." OK, jeans are OK, but they have to fit and NOT be mom-jeans.

After all, we will be in the stands to see how your classmates have aged and whether they have given up or not.

Now supported by the aforementioned research, she doesn't understand my logic, so I will work on a poster presentation to enlighten her on the very important aspects of showing up for a reunion looking better, hotter, and younger than the rest. Is this too shallow?

Not that she has hit 59 yet as mentioned in the research....she has lots of time......However, with the spotlight on the team and their spouses, she has to bring it..... Therefore, I submit for your consideration...What is the most craved sentence a person wants to hear at a reunion?

Not.....'boy, you really let yourself go...'
' look, uh, nice....'
'is that really you?'

Instead a person wants to hear:
"You look the same" (dubious, this could backfire if you had pimples and braces in high school)
"You haven't aged!"
"Oh, look fine!"

Yep, I like the third sentence which is why I will continue to care how I look  past the age of 59 'cause I foresee lots of reunions in the future with those of us who took care of ourselves and can see the invitations without their glasses and walk through the doors of the high school gym without our walkers.

As far as Big Sis is concerned, I am on the case and will kidnap her and take her to the clearance rack with my coupon to find jeans that fit and do not need to be pulled up when she sits. Scooby, a make up artist, will apply her make up and I will find the right top and sweater. Big Sis does not know this now, but when the hero of the city championship game is introduced, she will be by his side....and people will say......

"You look the same"
"You haven't aged!"
"Oh, look fine!"

have a great day!

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