Thursday, July 31, 2014

The ain't over

Hi! I just got back from the beach after spending a few relaxing and chaotic days with the family. How can relaxation and chaos be merged? Well, if you know the family, you would understand. We were at the beach, on the porch, eating, drinking, walking, and watching the activity. With lots of kids in one house, there is something always going on....some one falls, cries, spills something, gets into trouble, makes us laugh, and so on and on.

Big Sis, Tink and I headed to beach yoga at sunset one night. Boy, was that relaxing....then we got back to the house....

But on the whole, I would not have traded it for anything except a few days at the Ritz Carlton with my personal masseuse, Sven massaging the shoulders and the crick in my neck.

I did hear from the big kid although he has been somewhat silent since the big announcement that he was in a relationship was posted on Facebook. I guess his 'friend' listens to his angst and tirades post games. Although, he did share that the team blew a 9 run lead the other night. And last night, they were tied 1-1 in the 9th when one of the best hitters in the league was at bat. According to the lefty, the batter owned him in the early season, but once he figured him out, he has been able to strike him out in the most recent games. Therefore, he shared the 'secret' pitching combination to the pitching coach who was calling the pitches....give him 2 curve balls down the middle.....then come at him with a fast ball at the hands...he will swing and miss......

True enough...he had the pitcher throw 2 curve balls over the plate for 0-2 count. Rather than listening to the big guy's advice, he had the pitcher throw another curve over the plate and boom.....the batter hit the ball squarely into the scores....they lose the game.

Hmmmm....does this powerful knowledge translate into something that could possibly earn this guy  a living or financial independence? I believe the answer is 'no.' He does not want to be a pitching coach. He does not want to coach at all. He wants to pitch in the major leagues and that is that!

The other night, he threw for 8 innings, gave up two walks, 2 runs, 9 strike outs, 92 mph. Out of 108 pitches, he threw 78 strikes which is an excellent percentage. It seems that he is in the zone....which leads me to the plans....yes, plans.....

I am flying out on Sunday morning to watch his Sunday night start. That's right. I have a ticket for St. Louis. I leave early in the morning and will join him later in the day. I will see a game, darn it. Although, it is the second to the last game of the season, I can go on record and say that I will witness the game....and maybe....just maybe....catch a glimpse of the lady who has stolen his heart....maybe...we will see.

Ok, if you have been reading the blog, you know that we have been on the guy's butt about the sofa being left in the apartment. After countless emails, texts, and conversations, the final day of July has arrived.......where is the $@7%** sofa?

Well, it is still in the apartment. He spoke to the landlord who will move it and the other items (huh! What other items?) into  storage for a fee. According to the big kid: "This way, I don't have to worry about it anymore."

Worry? You were worried? Really? Complacency is worry for you? Ignoring your parents' pleas is worry? Seriously?

Astonished, I asked what the 'fee' was for the landlord to move the sofa and other stuff into storage...."Uh, I don't know. But it isn't much."

Really? You don't know, but assume that this is going to be a $5.00 venture? Are you out of your mind? You have had three flipping months to clean this place out! With all due respect and unconditional love, for your feeble minded information....the landlord is going to take the deposit and charge us for the storage....this could be several hundred if not a thousand dollars! What do you have? A money tree in the back yard? 'Cause I don't. Mine died 22 years ago.....just sayin'

Ah, the joys....and joys....and joys of family......

I gotta blood pressure has risen to crisis point and I have to crack into a bottle of something....either advil or better's 5 o'clock somewhere......Or maybe.....I am going to head  to my deserted island....located in my mind.....

Sunday, July 27, 2014

Pass the peanut butter

Good morning! It's time to laugh at ourselves. We have a tendency to take life too seriously and miss out on the little joys and pleasures that it can present. Each day, we put our game faces on and do not notice the sweetness that life can missing out on a good laugh....

And that is what Coach Speedy has brought to me; that is, the wonder of how the heck a mascot could be appointed as head coach of a prospect league that boasts of a number of elite athletes throughout the country who have been assigned to each team to hone their skills and prepare for the next year of collegiate competition.

Honestly, it's some sort of a joke....that a banished pugilistic turtle could be re-hired by a team to coach these guys is beyond any sort of logic. The team is currently touring Ohiooooo....yep, he's back in O-hi-oooooo. The big kid sent a snap chat (a photo) of their motel 6 and called it the Ohio Ritz Carlton. There are two guys to each bed and four guys sharing a bathroom, and the place has roaches. Originally, he was to pitch tonight but five hours into the trip on Friday, Coach Speedy changed his mind and told him that he would pitch when he returned home on Monday night. When pressed as to why the heck he had to take the road trip when he was not pitching, the former turtle replied "for moral support." Nice.

Last night, the rains came and the game was not played until 10 pm with three people in the stands. The guys had nothing to eat since lunch and were hungry by 8 o'clock.

The opposing team sent over a loaf of bread, a jar of peanut butter, and a case of water. Before the team got to the 'snack', Coach Speedy had eaten half of the loaf of bread, leaving 6 slices for 18 guys. Do the math.....

When the game ended at 1 am, they looked for something that was open to buy food, but the sidewalks and streets were tucked into bed. Therefore, they ate whatever they could find and went to bed. They have another game today at 1 pm and then return home. The trip is 8 hours in length, so they should be home around midnight.

As the summer season comes to a close, it is obvious that the team is not headed for the play offs, so it is time to plan an escape from Illinois and a route back to the east coast.

 The neurotic mother in me will not allow any kid drive 18 hours alone, therefore, guess who gets to fly to St. Louis and drive home in a stinky car?

Uh, that would be me. So, I do have a's time to find the biggest ketchup bottle, ball of string, largest thermometer, and best pizza as we plan the route. Will this be fun?

Maybe....if we look at life's idiosyncrasies in a humorous light, I will have lots to document as we begin the journey back our own beds.....our own own box of wine.....


Saturday, July 26, 2014

The Turtle

Good morning! I am back from a brief southern trip ready to get back into a routine. I finished my last two courses last week and have a month off to prepare for a late August class starts. Until then, I have a vacation notice on my email and try not to look at the's hard not to stop...

And so, how is the big kid? Well, he was taken out of his last game in the third inning. He could not throw harder than 80, flat, and the ball was hit as if the batter had magical hitting powers. At first, he was salty, then he got over it fairly fast....why the change in attitude? Why was the turn around so rapid? Could it be maturity? Could it be that he now knows that he is human and as such will make mistakes?

OR.....could it be that he is in love?

Yep, that's what I said....he is now in a 'relationship' with a local Illinois girl who he met in the parking lot after a game....that's where you find love, the stadium parking lots, so keep your eyes open. When I look around the stadium parking lots, I see the overweight guys who are drinking their 6 packs and throwing a football as if they were 18 knowing that they would go home and take a hot shower and two Advil for the joint pain. Yep, that's cool....if I am ever looking, I will be sure to check out the tail gates.

By the way, I found out about this 'relationship' on Facebook when our new friend outed him.

As I saw the post, I quickly texted him and asked him if he had something to tell me....sheesh....a mom has to find this out on facebook? Do I care? Uh, sort of....after all, he could have mentioned it to me in a casual manner. He's twenty two, so this is pretty normal, right?

Oye, after chewing him out on the phone for a few minutes about finding out about his friend on Facebook, sofa in the old apartment,  internship not completed, no place to live in the fall, and yoga on the schedule, we had a "come to momma" chat in which I specifically gave him one week to clean up his mess and act or I unleash the beast.....

It was a nice chat, so we are on the same page (so to speak).....don't get me started.....

He did have a funny story to share as he commented on how the new coach was seems that the bench coach was once the mascot. Yep, he was sort of promoted internally. Last year, he was Speedy the Turtle. This year, he is the bench coach.

How did this promotion occur? Well, last year, Speedy lost his job as the beloved mascot when he punched a fan in the face. This action was not in his job description. Anyway, after a few months of unemployment, he got the job of bench coach.

When asked what his baseball background was, he replied that he was the team manager in high school. That's right, folks, he kept the statistics book and lined the field before games. Now, may I rant? Please???

Ok, here goes.....

My division 1 left handed pitching son who throws 90's was sent to the midwest to play in a prospect league. The team is awful (last night, they had 6 errors which means that the guys gave the opposition 6 extra outs). The coach is a mascot...a turtle who has anger issues and punched out a fan (I only hope that she was not a senior citizen). He has had an "OK" summer as far as pitching is concerned. The apartment costs to and from...And he is being coached by a turtle....if I wasn't so peeved, I would be laughing.....But folks, I do not make this up. I don't have the imagination.

And now, as the summer league comes to a close, the big guy is preparing to leave the turtle and his girl. What will happen? Lord knows...not me....actually, I prefer to be left in the dark. I don't want to see the future, 'cause if I saw what was going on this summer, I would probably need treatment for an ulcer.

Now it is time to head to yoga class. I need it....bad....


Wednesday, July 23, 2014

Eat Your Vegetables!

Good morning! This is a quickie since I have a full schedule ahead of me.


OK, here we you know, the kid went 'underground' knowing that mamma was peeved about the sofa.

He has not made a move to move it.....That's right. I knew it all along and was positive that he was not going to follow through, 'cause he ain't about details ('scuse the improper English...but I call it like I see it). The only details that he can pontificate about are pitching mechanics. Then we hear about acceleration and deceleration....and something about lateral movement.


Last night, he pitched. I had a not-so-good feeling about it because he was messing around with the guys before the game (so unlike his 'I am not talking on game day' speech) and he had a head blowing write up in the newspaper about his pitching. In other words, this recipe is one that was not going to yield a full batch of cookies.

With that said, he was pulled out in the third inning after multiple pitches which were fouled off. He walked a few batters and was in the hole 0-3. After the game, he said that his arm was sore, velocity in the low 80's and his ball was flat. The coach to punish him is making him run 4 laps for every walk.

Is he salty? Well, what do you think? The guy is a competitor, does he need someone to punish him for giving up a walk or two or four? Nope. He punishes himself. If the coach really knew him, he was try other ways like tinker during a bullpen session to fix his command.

As he drove to Panera for breakfast, I mentioned to him that his arm did not recover after his last outing because of poor nutrition. "I guess I should not go to Wendy's anymore, huh?"

Huh? Uh, yeah....what can a guy whose life is his body eat of good substance from Wendy's dollar menu? Seriously? This is just pure laziness.

"I guess I will get some Panera salads and place them in the refrigerator." Good about some fruits and vegetables? Seeds such as sunflower and almonds... you can keep them in the pantry or next to your laptop.

Honestly, for such a smart guy......

OK, it is time for me to head out. Have a great day!


Monday, July 21, 2014

Looking for a tall, left handed pitcher...Have you seen him?

Good morning! It's a hot one today and I am looking forward to a little yoga and tennis today. Now that I am finished with my grades, I put a "gone fishing" sign on my work email.....Although...I hate fishing....ew.

How is the big guy? Well, except for his cracked toenail and 'dead arm', he is fine....until I get a hold of him then he will find a plastic surgeon to change his looks to prevent me from finding his exact location....although, I know how to find him, so he can run but he cannot hide. He leaves an American Express trail that I look at online and see exactly what he is up to, what he has eaten, and where he is located. Oh boy, when he starts to pay the bills, will he be in for a shock or twenty!

Today is July 21st. He has ten days to take care of the sofa. He also has no where to live in September and is still registered for yoga....oh yeah, let's chat about the internship....shall we? Let's not, my blood pressure is about to hit an abnormally high level.

He is avoiding me since I am going to go down the list of what he has not done in the three months. Is it a guy thing? Dunno....don't care. He has everything handed to him except for his talent and arm speed, so......hmmmmm.....

I don't ask for much....a safe place for the sofa....a class schedule that will challenge and not babysit the student....a life free from the fear of gaining weight when sniffing a coconut macaroon.....

And so....he has gone underground (so to say) but I will find him.....he can run......but momma is trailing him like a wildebeest.....I can sniff out a tall left handed pitcher with a ten year old dented Cadillac and American Express card....Look out....I am on the case....