Sunday, January 25, 2015

You're no good

Morning! And it is a good morning! Yep. I had the first good night's sleep in months....why? I'll tell you....because dad and the pups did not get up before the crack of dawn. That's right. They stayed in bed and asleep until! This is an amazing feeling. It is 10 am and I am not looking for another cup  of coffee to keep me alert until 5 pm. Do most people get this feeling? It should be bottled....

Speaking of bottled....I finally had the opportunity to go to the spa for my facial. I was given a gift card two years ago and promised myself that I would use it. If I remember correctly, the facial ends with a shoulder massage, aromatherapy, and an opportunity to relax before heading out....did this happen? Uh, no.....not exactly....

You see, the gift card was for the chain of massage spas across the country. In other words, the aestheticians have a strict schedule and have to have their clients out of the room at exactly 55 minutes after the start of the facial/massage. So, I finally allow myself to relax when the lights go on, I am handed a bottle of water, and am ushered to the desk to drop a tip off for the woman who opened and closed my pores. Before the lights went on, she shared that my skin should be exfoliated every day to knock off build up. OK, I am listening....I have skin build up. Isn't this a good thing?

"Nope. you have to exfoliate every day."

OK, I need to exfoliate to rid myself of my skin?

"No, exfoliate to get rid of skin build up."

Oh, I get it. Too much skin....I still think that this is a good thing.....but Bambi, after inspecting my skin and pores does not.

"We have a product that you can use on a daily basis that is gentle and will exfoliate while you are in the shower. You definitely need it."

I do, huh. Well, if I have too much skin, then let's go and get it.

AS I walked to the desk to pay for my exfoliation product, I continued to think that I had just enough skin. But if Bambi says that I have too much and at 20 years old, she is an expert, I will definitely buy her product.

Standing by the register to pay, I asked how much my dead skin killer was...."Oh, this is $52.00."

I stared at the little bottle and made a decision that I was satisfied with my surplus of skin.

"But don't worry. It lasts for at least two years."

Two years. Let me do the math.....$26.00 per year....365 days a year.....divide by each day...this works out to be pennies a day...sort of...I think. I could use a calculator but did not to be more embarrassed with my math skills since I already had too much skin.

I'll take it. As I handed her my well worn American Express card, I made the executive decision to have soup for dinner.....And I will serve it with less skin on my face. Good stuff, eh?

On to the big guy. He is still complaining and we made another decision not to talk about the Czar any more. The lefty has to learn to deal with guys like this and now is the time.

However, after he threw on Friday, he had one more story....."I had a guy 3-2 and was trying not to walk him when I threw a nasty curve ball and struck him out. I put my fist in the air and ran back to the dug out. The Czar walked up to me and said: 'Knock it off. Act like you do this all the time.'" And those were his only words about his performance on the mound where he struck out 6 guys with no walks or runs in 4 innings.

The reality is that the coach has nothing to add and is upset that this guy does not hang on every word. He wants zombies for players and not guys who think. Therefore, he is out of luck with this kid. In his own strange way, he is keeping the kid humble. Guess what? This has been going on all his life. He is always told that he is no good, stinks, or has no talent. He is proving them all wrong. Naturally, there is a moral to this story that we will witness and get by at the end of the season.

Enjoy Linda Ronstadt's "You're no good!" 

Time for me to finish my laundry.


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