Another Saturday Night and I Ain't Got Nobody

OK, it's Saturday night and Diva and I are stuck with one another.

Dad and Tink made it to the stadium after a 13+ hour drive. Our little Diva is lying next to me, almost in a coma. She perked up for 30 seconds while I gave her chicken and an antibiotic. Now, I sit with Diva watching a Barbra Streisand show on PBS. OYE! Could I be more bored or what? I just broke into the remnants of Tink's Easter candy and grabbed a Snickers.....oh man....got to get moving here....or something.

I'll try to get the game on the computer, but honestly, I had planned to be away for the weekend and never for a million years thought that I would be sitting on the sofa with my laptop and watching Streisand as I sit with a sick dog. Is there something wrong with me? I don't even like Streisand....OK, she has talent, but is not my style. Now, if we are talking Springsteen and his music or even Paul Simon, then I would be a bit happier. Actually, nothing is making me happy tonight....although the Snickers helped a bit.

Tink emailed photos of the stadium to me tonight. The game is sold out. The stands are filled and there are fire works tonight. It sounds like fun. Huh? More fun than hanging out with old Easter candy, a sick dog, and Barbra? Yep....a lot more fun.....

By the way, as I sit and type, Barbra and her son, Jason just sang a duet together..."how far would I travel to be with you?" Fascinating....since we are chatting about traveling to see my son play ball. Apparently, Barbra and Jason would travel many miles to be with one another....OK, but who did the driving? Did she take a private plane or hit the turnpike? Limo, perhaps?  Did she drive through West Virginia or did Jason drive while mom paid the bill? Did they eat Skittles or Snickers? I guess we are alike and not alike. If I had BS's money, I would have had my driver take me to the game and my housekeeper watch the dog. She might have a ton of money, but is she happy? Uh, yeah...she looks very happy and healthy.

Back to the game.....More tidbits....dad had to pay for parking. What? For a minor-minor league team?

Also, the stadium is in a sketchy place. Tink is a bit nervous about the location. At least they found a 24 hour IHOP for pancakes after the game. After all, the game will end around 10 and they will probably be hungry. When we lived in Ohio, we ate pancakes after most games at an open all night IHOP. The only problem seemed to be the armed guard at the to door. Although, I guess I was happy that we were guarded.....Talk about sketchy....

And so, here we sit reflecting upon the last few days and am happy to hang out with the dog. Dad promised me that I could go to 'team poster' night in a few weeks. That's a deal. Until then, I will play Florence Nightingale to our diva, sing along with Babs, and hope the medication kicks in.

Thanks for putting up with my musings. I am not used to being by myself....kind of lonely....

Oh well....back to the remote control....could there be anything better on television? I would even settle for a housewife show....hoarders?


Peace!

Ambushed

Good morning....we had a bit of snow last night but not enough to make a difference in our lives as there is nothing to plow, shovel, or plod through. BP Grandpop probably does not have to put on his ice cleats to make it to church today.

The title of the blog today is 'ambushed'. What is the reason for this cryptic title? Well, I guess as I look back on last week, I can firmly say that I was ambushed in my own home....and here is how....

One late afternoon, I was working at  my desk in my office and minding my own business. I was in the zone as I graded paper after paper. Life was good as I worked diligently to catch up on grades, when suddenly the door bell rang distracting me from my goal. I begged Tink to answer it but she was in her own zone trying to calm the dog. Running to the door, there they stood.....not one, not two, but three little girl scout brownies and their oh so cute blond mama. I looked at the little group and knew that I was sunk.....

They smiled and handed me the dreaded list....you know the list....the one with every girl scout cookie available on the market, the price, and a pen. Looking at the trio, I knew that I could not order one box, or two, or even three. Oh no....I had to order one box of each cookie and another case of thin mints for dad's office. That's right. Me, on Weight Watchers, ordering over two cases of girl scout cookies.

Why? WHY? I'll tell you why....calm down...OK, I ordered the cookies because of a number of reasons....first...I was that little girl scout at one time. Except for the two other girls and the mom, I traveled light with one of my brothers or little sister, the case of cookies in my hand, and a desire to sell all of the cookies except one box of mints which I planned on eating after explaining to the folks that no one wanted to buy them.

Second, these little girls were so darn cute, I could not turn them down for anything....want my car? wedding ring? pin number to my ATM account? Their smile had me at "hello"....

Lastly, I was very vulnerable as I was on week two of WW. I looked at those cookies and knew in an instant that they were my diet kryptonite. Yep, I was going down on cookies...or perhaps a better way to put it is that my weight was going up.....I am pretty sure that there are no low fat girl scout cookies....yeah, pretty sure.

And now, with the promise of two cases being delivered to my house this week, I have to use every bit of resolve and commitment to not open the cookies and begin to give them out as birthday, Valentine's Day and perhaps late Passover hostess gifts. I would be nuts to keep them in the pantry since I really want to fit in those pants that are hanging in my closet before the baseball season.

And now, I face the hardest task of the new year. How can I possibly allow these fat laden detectible cookies into my own home while I am in such a weakened state...not physically...I feel great...no, mentally...I have not crunched down on pure sugar with additives and trans fats in over two weeks and have actually lost weight without much thought. Yep, it's a dilemma, but I think that I can conquer it with the Serenity Prayer and maybe a stomach flu.

With that said, I look forward to this weekend's Kick-off baseball banquet on campus as I will fill the trunk with Buddy's dress shirt and tie, Timberland boots that he casually forgot, and multiple boxes of girl scout cookies for the guys. On each box, I will beg them to eat them or use the thin mints for the snow men's eyes that they construct with each snowfall. Other uses for the cookies could be to put a few under the leg of a table that is not balanced, crumble the Tag-a-longs and sprinkle them on a tuna casserole, use pureed do-si-dos as a skin moisturizer, and the samoas to tenderize meat.

Time to get to work...have a great day!

To party or not to party? That is the question

Good morning! It's a great day! Or is it? Whazzup, BPM?

OK, I'll share...last night an email was forwarded to me sent by my son. It seems OC has planned a huge blow out party called "SL--" fest. This has nothing to do with cookies and everything to do with young inebriated women and guys getting together and having fun that they cannot remember. Despite my son's constant pleadings, his roomies decided that they were going to have a huge party during exam week and destroy the house.

Buddy was making plans for spending the weekend at a friend's house so that he did not have to be there and would not be present to bounce drunks and clean up.

As I read the e-mail, I was angry....no, not angry...peeved....no, not peeved....miffed...no not miffed....I was LIVID!!!! I saw blood, guts, and fireworks when I finished reading the note that was sent by someone who did not even live in the house.

This is too much...over the top...and wrong.

Look, I love a good party. I crave a great party. I think gathering family and friends is the best way to spend time. BUT there are limits and restrictions.

First, when I plan a party, I do not seek to ply guests with so much alcohol that they forget their names.

Second, I prefer to meet people who know that the word 'party' ends with a 'y' and not an 'ie'.

Third, I do not nor ever will serve alcohol to a minor...ever....this is a recipe for disaster. yet, the college system is built around the guys/gals who turn 21 and can run to the liquor store for the younger kids. They obviously are not thinking...ever...exams? Yeah, right.

My girl friend's son was in an altercation at a party (everyone was drunk, naturally) and hit a guy who was pushing him. The kid fell backwards and hit his head. He was then rushed to the hospital. Guess who was arrested and spent the night in jail? The kid who was defending himself....Guess who spent thousands of dollars defending her son in court and was sued by the drunk kid's parents? My girl friend.....yep..that's right. The legal system does and does not make sense...Whatever.

And so, once I calmed down, I put it out of my mind until this morning when the big kid called. It seems that he was able to convince the roomies not to have the party because it is exam week and they are on the cusp of being ineligible for the baseball team. Obviously, he did his best Oliver Wendell Holmes and convinced the guys to have their "sl---" party next year when he is  on the road with the team (two of the guys will not be on the travel squad)....amen....

Tonight, he has an exam at 6p. If he scores an "A", his gpa will rise...yeah, baby....it seems that he now is thinking law school post graduation. Yeah, I know. I was surprised too....but, this week is law school...next week may be glass blower or botanist.....

Gotta run to work....

Peace out!

Baby Uggs and Nike

Exhale...Thursday has come and gone and I am a bit bleary eyed. Cupcake is sleeping in her little cupcake outfit in the next room since Buttercup had an early morning shift at the bakery. Here's hoping that she brings back a vanilla vanilla cake....Nope! Can't do it until the zippers in the pants work without pliers. This kid is so cute and sweet....nothing like Tink and Buddy when they were kids. Those two had me running from dawn until late nights. One night, I went to a grade school reunion and left dad home to babysit the kids. When I returned at midnight, the boys were asleep and Tink at the age of three was sitting at the bottom of our bed watching the Chippendales on Saturday Night Live while dad was snoring away. What is wrong with this picture?

Yep, Cupcake is very cool. She has faux baby Uggs and all kinds of happenin' clothes that people my age would love (especially the cupcake hat). She is a stylish little kid with a big grin and happy disposition. I hope she stays this sweet as I consider my last phone call with my little guy. Yep, salty language....missed a Spanish test (of course, by accident)....had to attend a lecture given by one of the country's most revered clothing designers and he was not happy. "Why should I go when all I wear is Nike?" Why, indeed.....

Perhaps your teacher seeks to expand your mind....expose you to new concepts and thoughts...help to develop your critical thinking skills? Or maybe, he is trying to pick on you because he does not like you and delights in making you crazy?

And so, reluctantly, the southpaw went to the lecture and sat in the back. After a few texts, I stopped replying to them. He kept texting what a waste of this was and how stupid the assignment was. Then the texts stopped altogether. An hour later, I received a phone call. "OK, I respect this guy and how he created something from nothing by working hard. I left when the girls started asking questions."

And the learning activities continue. Thank you to his professor for making him do something that he did not want to do and get something positive out of it. It's all about moving out of your comfort zone and working to see life from different perspectives. Do we know it all at the age of 20? Uh, I think that you know the answer to that question. I like learning new things as I watched the Travel Channel while some guy toured Portugal. I never considered taking a trip there until I saw how beautiful it was....now, I think that Portugal is on my bucket list. Did you know that you can see monkeys at the Rock of Gibraltar? Now there is another reason to stop by Portugal!


With that said, I have papers, papers, and more papers to grade.....have a super day!

Post election chocolate binge

Day 4 of the diet and I am perilously close to attacking the left over Halloween candy. Dr Phil would have said: "Eliminate the candy from the pantry." But since I am not a big fan of his, I am walking on the edge. With the snow and cold temperatures, I am closer to the Skittles than I have been over the past four days. Deep breath.....in and out....I do not need nor want the extra calories....Actually, the results of the election yesterday almost sent me to take refuge in chocolate. But I carried on. I will win this one.

Ok, the big kid called and was quite salty about the election results. He cannot understand why people voted the way that they did. As I listened to his diatribe, I could not help but marvel at how mature he has gotten. Yep, that's right....he registered, scrutinized the candidates and their platforms, watched the debates and made a decision on how he was going to vote. Now he is disappointed, but I must say, he knows what he is talking about. Perhaps he has politics in his future...oy!

Not much else going on. Cupcake continues to bloom and blossom. The Baker bought this major apple peeler that can peel, core, and slice an apple in ten seconds. Since she goes  through thousands of apples for Thanksgiving, she has a huge smile on her face. Buddy, Tink and I are going to work at the bakery the week before Thanksgiving. My job will be to fill the pies with the apples that Tuna slices. Then the pie moves on to the person who puts the crust on it, then the oven. According to Baker, the bakery sells 5000 apple pies the week before Thanksgiving...the week before....5000 pies....I don't think that Mrs. Smith sells as many pies in a year.

Since my shifts in the bakery are impending, I have to get my school work done. There are classes to plan and papers to read and grade. I also have to write an article for a newsletter.

Oh yeah...one last thing...a Costco is opening this weekend near us. Dad feels that we should visit it on opening day to check it out. Yep, if you think that my life is exciting now, wait until I post about my visit to Costco on Saturday. This could be transformational....

With that said...off to work I go.....bypassing the pantry....grabbing a spinach salad.....and a large bottle of water.

Stay warm!

Magna Cum Baseball

Good morning! A great day in the northeast and we have Cupcake in the hose. Naturally, Diva Dog has been replaced by a cuter baby and she does not like it. Although, she will cuddle next to the baby and allow the baby to pull her ear while she drinks her bottle. It seems that Diva is quite protective of Cupcake.

And how is our little Cupcake? Well, she started to eat cereal this week and seems like a happy little kid. Right now, she is napping and all is well with the world. She also has her stylin' pumpkin hat on and is waaay cute.

Ok, whazzup in the world of baseball? Well, plans continue as the big kid will travel home on weekends to work with Coach T. "Mom, I have had enough parties and met enough people. I don't need this every week when I am trying to achieve my goal." Hmmm...very mature for an underage partying, baseball playin', extremely tired college student. This is parent's weekend on campus and we have not been invited. When I mentioned it to the leftie, his response was "I would rather that you came next weekend to watch the scrimmage. I will be pitching and want you to come."

Wow!  a personal invitation to come to campus and observe the fruits of his labors. I must say, it has been laborious. With the surgery, rehab, training, and practices, this guy has not stopped. I have never seen anyone more dedicated to a goal in  my life....which now brings me to a statement: "I was wrong."

Yes, I was wrong. One day when the kid was in high school, he was lying in bed during the afternoon. Frustrated, I angrily said to him that he did not have the discipline to play Major League baseball. In fact, he did not have the discipline to get out of high school. Kind of rough, yes?

Yes, it was. In fact, years later, he remembers that day and how angry he was that I had the nerve to talk to him that way. Ooops.

Well, you have to look at the day, time, and what he was and was not doing. He was lazy, inattentive, and making me crazy. I hated when the kids would just ignore what they had to do such as homework and projects. When I would ask: "Finished your homework?" The response would be either 'what homework?' or 'later....'

As a parent, it would drive me crazy....come on dude, get your act together....

And together, he did. He has as much drive and discipline as anyone who is an honors student at any ivy league university striving to complete and defend his dissertation. The only difference is that rather than be passionate about statistics, he wants to create his own kind of statistics in the ball park. So, I have had to readjust my thought process and be happy that he is happy with his walk in life. That is...not as an honors student striving for Phi Beta Kappa but as a student of the game of baseball whose goal is Maja Leaga Baseballa......

With that said, Diva Dog needs a walk and I have to go....have a wonderful day!

Not enough money to be Broke

Hi! A gorgeous fall day in the northeast. I did not post this morning because I ran a few errands. Tink and I have had our eye on a very large pumpkin at the farmer's market, so I bought it to surprise her. Little did I realize that I would have to pay someone to put the pumpkin in the car AND to take it out. It seems that my little surprise weighs over 80 pounds. Fortunately, there were a couple of guys working down the street on a driveway and I paid them to take the gorgeous gourd out of my car and place it on the lawn. It's a real cutie...I wonder if Tink is going to notice it....hmmmm.....

On to the big kid....he called this morning and told me that his house was still being egged. Once again, I advised him to take photos and share the information to the police. They could catch the vandals in the act.  Yes, he took the photos and no, he is not going to alert the police. The actual egging is occurring to the back of the house and not the front.
  This is an actual picture of the eggs and house.


Speaking of the house, the famous broken porch was fixed by the carpenter and he found that the boards were rotten. Therefore the guys are off the hook so to say and do not have to pay for the damages from the last blow out party.

For the next two weeks, the pitcher who was drafted by the Giants at the end of the season is staying at the house. According to the big leftie, he is spending money like water. He has a big BMW and lots of new clothes and shoes. He is picking up the bar tabs and buying the pizza and booze for the guys. His spending has made my son nervous. Apparently, he watched a movie called "Broke" last night and is concerned that this guy is going to spend all of his money and land up destitute. I told him to relax because he has not seen the bank statements and if he wants to treat his friends, then let him.

"Well, I am not going to spend money like this...I am way too cheap!" Bingo....he is kind of cheap, but he has to be since he does not have any money. I guess that he has been listening to his dad over the years. Don't spend money on what you don't need....don't spend money that you do not have....amazing....he listened....Broke, eh? How about saving your money so that you are not broke?

Although, I did share with him something that I had read in the Joe Paterno biography. Joe would tell his players: "Do you want three cars or a three car garage?" In other words, don't spend new found money on something that is frivolous rather on something that is lasting like a home or real estate.

With that said, I am going to try to find the movie Broke on television and catch what made my son so nervous. Perhaps the big kid is growing up. Perhaps the new found money that he sees his friend have has made him contemplate the meaning of financial solvency. I don't know...stay tuned!

TGIF

Katy Perry sings:

Last Friday night
Yeah we danced on table tops
And we took too many shots
Think we kissed but I forgot

Last Friday night
Yeah we maxed our credit cards
And got kicked out of the bar
So we hit the boulevard

Last Friday night
We went streaking in the park
Skinny dipping in the dark

 Last Friday night
Yeah I think we broke the law
Always say we're gonna stop
Oh-whoa-oh
This Friday night
Do it all again

 

Is there a point to starting out this post with a Katy Perry song? You betcha.....

There were no 2 am wake up calls. After all, I was told on Friday afternoon that the big kid was tired and sore and needed to sleep. Mom, there will be no parties....

Good...'cause dad had to get to campus early and pick him up for a final appointment with the physical therapist. Super.....have a great night sleep. I think that there is a pretty good show on the Travel Channel that you might enjoy...see you tomorrow....

And tomorrow came. Dad left at 6 am and was home by 1 pm. They avoided the football traffic and got home in time for the kid to take a nap. A nap? Wow...he must be doing some late night studying, right?

Ah wrong...oh so wrong...like not correct...like there is something that is not being said right now..."Are you sick?"......

Now the story emerges and the stuff flies into my fan and sprays all over the room....Here is one side of the story....

Dad got to campus at 9am which is like the middle of the night to a college student. First he sees Dog by the curb who was on his cell phone and could not be bothered to get Buddy out of the house. Dog points to the house and keeps walking. Dad was not pleased....

As he climbed the porch, he almost fell through the broken wooden slats. Hmmm, two weeks ago, these floor boards were not broken. Yet on Saturday, a person could fall through and perhaps be "injured". As he turned the door knob to the house, he took a deep breath in and the place reeked of booze. Upon entering, what he saw almost caused a coronary artery or two to close. Red solo cups, empty vodka bottles, trash, broken walls, the smoke detector disabled, broken window, broken blinds, and sticky floors. It was if a blow out party had taken place with the hosts except for Dog asleep in their beds. In many ways, it was a blessing that I was not there....'cause if I had fainted and landed in a pool of vomit that was not my own, I would have imploded and exploded....

And so, at dinner, we had a conversation and the kid lost it.....Here are some of the more memorable snippets of the conversation....

"They invite these people over...."

"This guy was bouncing up and down on the porch trying to break the wooden slats.  I stopped him and he said that a guy in the back was giving him $100 if he could break it. So I threw both of them out..."

"I have to act as a bouncer..."

"These guys have no social skills so it is the only way that they can meet girls...."

"Angel is still depressed about Ms. Canada and I had to take him home and put him to bed so that he would not be arrested for an underage again...."

"While I was gone, more people came and crashed the door...."

"I told them all to get out....but they wouldn't listen....so I went to the back of the house and screamed "cops, cops, cops, cops"...they all ran away.

"I cleaned the place for two hours and got to bed at 4 am..." If this is true, then I did a bad job teaching him how to clean, 'cause dad said the place was trashed.

So, whaddya do?

He was upset because he does not want to host the parties in his home. His room mates have them anyway and he is left being the adult trying to keep the house from disintegrating....

Once he almost convinced us that he was a victim in this mess, we started to contemplate how to get him out of the lease and where he could go.  There aren't too many options here except to pull him out of the house and keep paying the rent, have a lawyer document that he no longer lives in the house and is not liable for damages, and find a single room on campus for him and pay more rent. 

Then there was also the option of me and dad walking in to the house with all of the guys there and having a "conversation" with them.  No one wanted that option...

Aghast....it is only the second week in September and this craziness begins.....

And so, he texted all of the guys and told them to clean up before he returned because his father was going ballistic. 

In fact, Dad was ready to report the guys to have them evicted...all of them including  his son...nice, huh? It has come to this...eviction...he hasn't taken his first exam yet and is about to be homeless....a homeless pitcher....can anyone spare a quarter or two for a Chipotle burrito, 'cause my dad cut me off?

 

It's all craziness. What do I always say? Well, lots of things....but basically, if you have to hang out with drunk girls to find someone talk with, then you gotta figure out what the heck is wrong. After all, she is bound to sober up at some point, right? According to Buddy, his roomies are inept and can't talk with girls and are becoming desperate for companionship. The only way to get them to talk with them is to host a party.....What did Dean Wormer of Animal House say to one of the frat brothers?

"Fat, drunk, and stupid is no way to go through life, son..."

After dinner, we had a plan of action and drove over to Dr. G's to see Lil A and the rest of the family. While standing there, the story about the party was retold....one of the uncles asked him if the keg has been "killed" at the party....then Buddy made a rookie mistake.....

He smirked....grinned a bit and said: "Oh yeah..." Big mistake buck-o....big one...the smirk got ya...I caught it. Dad caught it....Even BP Grandmom caught it...Heck....Ray Charles could have seen it....big fat juicy mistake....OK dude...you're so cool....Neither dad nor I remarked on the smirk, but locked it away for future reference.

Since there was an 11 am scrimmage on Sunday, it was my turn to drive the 6 am limo back to campus. We had a good conversation about life...poor Angel...baseball...the guys...nothing about school or classes....I wonder why?

As I parked the car, I took a tour of the yard, porch, and interior....and was amazed by what I saw...no 

 

red solo cups, no empty liquor bottles....no sleeping underclassman...no girls running out of rooms...the floor was not sticky....the kitchen and living room had been picked up. Actually, for a college house, the trash was not there. However, the remnants of the party were evidence that these guys need their heads examined.....As I took photos of the broken window, smashed walls, smoke detector with a plastic bag covering it, and the oh so dangerous porch, I was impressed that they tried to clean up. Yet, we are not done with this issue...not by  a long shot....in fact...dad finally figured out what to do and I will share it in the next post.....

I will end with this final conversation with the kid.....

"Do not call me if you are arrested for underage drinking, 'cause I will let you sit in jail at least 24 hours. You will miss class and your scrimmages...perhaps the you can watch the football game with the warden. If you want to be bailed out, call Sparky....."

More...much more later....we are only beginning.....

To cruise or not to cruise?

Yeah! What a beautiful day in the northeast...low humidity...low temperatures...it's like the spring that we never had.

Last night we had a family meeting about a summer vacation. I wanted to take an Alaskan cruise in August before the kids return to college. I felt that a cruise would be relaxing. Further, by cruising through Alaska, it would be interesting too. As a family, we have  not had a vacation in years. I have never felt deprived, we just had other things to do during the summer. One year, Buddy and I were in Florida for a week. OK, technically, this was not a vacation, but it felt like it as we both did something that we love. He played ball at the Red Sox facility and I watched. How great is that?

And so, when we proposed the cruise, I got a "no way, nope...not going...I have to continue my rehab....got to get back to baseball." Hmmm.... Dude, the ship has a state of the art training facility where you can work out in luxury...all the food you can eat...sleep late...see interesting things...be with your beloved and supportive family. What gives?

After he said that, I made the executive decision: "OK, no cruise, no vacation. We are staying home."

Was I being a martyr? Did I want him to feel bad about ruining my vacation? After all, the three of us could have gone without him, but I was not having it. Let me be clear. This is not punishing him in any way. In fact, it is supporting my big leftie.

How so? Well.....it is not a family vacation unless the 'family' goes together. If one of us for one reason or another cannot leave, then none of us leave. We're a family and if that means that our vacation takes place in the backyard, gym, or mall, then so be it. We are going to be together. That's it.

Would Roseann leave without DJ (uh, yeah...probably)....but June and Ward would not leave for Alaska without the Beaver.

Am I sad that I am not taking my long awaited cruise? Nope. I can always go somewhere for a long weekend with Tink, Chill, Blue Devil, Scoob or Big Sis. Sometimes I take Grandmom and Grandpop to the beach. Not being at work is a vacation too.....

And so, the day begins with the promise of accomplishing lots of goals. No vacation plans, but who needs 'em? I'll use the money to paint the house.

Have a good one!

One last time to reminisce

Good morning! No postings yesterday since I had to begin the two courses that I am teaching this summer. Since they are online, I will be glued to the computer trying impart some knowledge :-D

With that said, let's go back to the concept of an end of the year banquet. As much as I loathe attending them.....yep, after the first 15, they become fairly routine, yet the athletes need them for closure. The guys should have their hard work acknowledged publicly with their team mates, friends, and family in the audience. They worked all year until they bled, collapsed, or cried and should have one last opportunity to sit with the players and coaches that they came to know and love (and sometimes hate). It is a rite of passage in an athlete's life.

What happens at these banquets? Well, the word "banquet" is probably not the correct term. In fact, it is more like pasta, rubbery chicken, and unidentifiable meat with potatoes and green beans lathered in butter. Then there are rolls, a Caesar salad, and defrosted pie with coffee.  The menu is always the same...no deviations.

Once dinner is over, the gang sit and listen to the coach tell funny stories about the season. Then a video is shown on the jumbo-tron of the best plays seniors made. The coach tells a story about each senior who comes to the podium, gets a laugh or two. The kid then sits down and is either drafted by a major league team or goes to TJ Maxx with his mother to buy business suits to start his job in an entry level position that he thinks he is too good for....'cause his vision has always been to play on the Yankees or Phillies. After a few years, he buys his dream car and marries his college sweetheart. They have their 2.35 kids and he finds himself coaching Little League to his son who cannot see the ball, is nonathletic, and alarmingly, is not a switch-hitter!

So, why deny the kids one last opportunity to reminisce about the glory days before they do it with the neighbors in their cul de sac over a beer while watching the kids ride their bikes or climb trees. As they wistfully speak of their college years, their bellies hang over their belts because they stopped exercising when the second colicky kid was born. They traded in the dumb bells for an extra 10 minutes of sleep.

As they let their bodies go, the wives become more militant and demand new sofas, painted basements, and clean gutters...By the way, take out the trash, mow the lawn, and stop hanging around with the husband down the street, 'cause he is having an affair with his secretary. No, the wife does not know it yet, but it is a matter of time. Sheesh! Got the picture? 

Now do you see why they need a banquet? Enough said...have a great day!

Be part of the solution

Happy Sunday! Or is it? The weather is about as beautiful as it can be, but my heart is in shambles. Why, you may ask....well, here goes.....

As readers know, I write this blog to update family and friends on the happenings of the kids especially the big guy who has a big dream. I write from the perspective of a mother,daughter, sister, friend, cousin, aunt, and community member. Regular readers understand or try to understand my point of view from these angles. I try to use humor and self-deprecation when describing events that lead to the achievement of goals and dreams. 'Cause, as you know, the road is rocky and we stumble over and over....and with that said, let me share the events of the morning.....

The sun was shining at 6:30 am and dad and I got ready for 7:30 am mass at our church. We have been members of the parish since we moved to this town 25 years ago. I have attended weekly and sometimes daily events at the church depending on the activities. I coached volleyball and basketball. The kids played on the sports teams and attended religious education. The congregation was young and we had lots of friends. At one point, the pastor asked me to be a member of the building committee to ascertain the need for an elementary school which I was wildly in favor. This was a no brainer, I was going to use my powers of persuasion and research skills to set the table for the new school. And with a number of meetings, town gatherings, and surveys, we were given permission to conduct a series of fund raisers and we were able to earn enough money to build the school. What a wonderful time in the parish's life as we watched it grow from services in the local middle school cafeteria to a church, rectory, and school. It was amazing to be part of something that would not only serve the mission of the church but would be instrumental in building a solid community. The pastor and I were friends and always greeted each other warmly knowing that together we helped to build something that was good. It was the foundation to serve individuals at all times of their lives....baptisms, communion, confirmation, penance ceremonies, and funerals. The parish and its members did it all under the leadership of our pastor.

With that said, when the bishop was in church this morning, I was a little startled. The big guy never stops by the church unless there is a confirmation and this was simply early mass. Or was it?

As we sat in our seats, he began to read a prepared statement which had us in a state of disbelief. it seems that our beloved former pastor who retired a few years ago and has his name on the school cafeteria has admitted to sexual misconduct with a minor 40 years ago. At the age of 77, I suppose he needed to "come clean" with his own confession. With a audible gasp from the early morning crowd, the bishop left the church and the new pastor stood before us in tears. He was not the only one to have to compose himself. Many of the parishioners began to sob. Others wiped away their tears. I sat in utter confusion and witnessed the priest in the pulpit stand before us unable to continue as his heart was broken.

He could not continue and needed a few minutes to compose himself. He announced that there were counselors and other ministers available for individuals who needed help processing the information. At this point, I am still numb and trying to figure things out in my own way, so here goes....

There is evil in our world and we are constantly doing battle trying to do the right thing. As I tell the kids and my students: "The right thing to do is often the hardest." Therefore combating bad decision making is something that we all struggle with in our lives.

I am dumbfounded that a man of the cloth could heinously perform any sadistic act on a child. Further, there is no excuse for this madness. As adults, we are to protect not only our own children, but the children of the world. Feed, clothe, soothe, comfort, and teach....are just a few of the roles that we have when entrusted to the development of a child. No where is there a statement that says: "By the way, take advantage of the powerless and the innocent...."...."Go and ruin their lives with moments of madness....." No one has permission to take away the innocence of a child...no one....

Is this sordid phenomenon restricted to the clergy? Nope. Last week a 47 year old swimming coach was arrested for meeting one of his swimmers at a motel, giving her beer, and ......(you know the rest....I cannot even type what happened).

I do not know what is going on in our world, but I need to be more vigilant, less naive, and more observant. I have the privilege of  moving in multiple circles and if I cannot be part of the solution, then I am part of the problem. My vow is to never be duped by someone who hides behind a title or position. Anyone can be a predator and pedophile and it is up to us as global citizens to confront it when we suspect something is happening. Did I know that this pastor had these proclivities? Absolutely not! According to this statement, the incident occurred 40 years ago. Nothing since? Really? Hmmmm....

As global citizens, I encourage each reader to educate themselves, watch and take care of the vulnerable. We have a mandate to love one another and that does not mean when it is convenient for us. This means all of the time.....

Do I blame the church at all? Tough question.....today the answer is "no" since I believe that the church is bigger than a few misguided, sick individuals. Therefore, I will continue to practice my faith AND will be more vigilant. I m not sure what I can do except watch and pray, yet as I saw a friend is Starbucks after mass, she was still crying. We stood there just looking at each other. I had nothing to say, 'cause I was still speechless. But I vow that I will look for ways to be involved in the prevention of child abuse of any form. I am not sure how since I am still in a state of shock, but somehow....some way.....BP mom is on the watch.....a community activist and someone who has to help to protect as many children as she can. I encourage all to be part of the solution too.