Be part of the solution

Happy Sunday! Or is it? The weather is about as beautiful as it can be, but my heart is in shambles. Why, you may ask....well, here goes.....

As readers know, I write this blog to update family and friends on the happenings of the kids especially the big guy who has a big dream. I write from the perspective of a mother,daughter, sister, friend, cousin, aunt, and community member. Regular readers understand or try to understand my point of view from these angles. I try to use humor and self-deprecation when describing events that lead to the achievement of goals and dreams. 'Cause, as you know, the road is rocky and we stumble over and over....and with that said, let me share the events of the morning.....

The sun was shining at 6:30 am and dad and I got ready for 7:30 am mass at our church. We have been members of the parish since we moved to this town 25 years ago. I have attended weekly and sometimes daily events at the church depending on the activities. I coached volleyball and basketball. The kids played on the sports teams and attended religious education. The congregation was young and we had lots of friends. At one point, the pastor asked me to be a member of the building committee to ascertain the need for an elementary school which I was wildly in favor. This was a no brainer, I was going to use my powers of persuasion and research skills to set the table for the new school. And with a number of meetings, town gatherings, and surveys, we were given permission to conduct a series of fund raisers and we were able to earn enough money to build the school. What a wonderful time in the parish's life as we watched it grow from services in the local middle school cafeteria to a church, rectory, and school. It was amazing to be part of something that would not only serve the mission of the church but would be instrumental in building a solid community. The pastor and I were friends and always greeted each other warmly knowing that together we helped to build something that was good. It was the foundation to serve individuals at all times of their lives....baptisms, communion, confirmation, penance ceremonies, and funerals. The parish and its members did it all under the leadership of our pastor.

With that said, when the bishop was in church this morning, I was a little startled. The big guy never stops by the church unless there is a confirmation and this was simply early mass. Or was it?

As we sat in our seats, he began to read a prepared statement which had us in a state of disbelief. it seems that our beloved former pastor who retired a few years ago and has his name on the school cafeteria has admitted to sexual misconduct with a minor 40 years ago. At the age of 77, I suppose he needed to "come clean" with his own confession. With a audible gasp from the early morning crowd, the bishop left the church and the new pastor stood before us in tears. He was not the only one to have to compose himself. Many of the parishioners began to sob. Others wiped away their tears. I sat in utter confusion and witnessed the priest in the pulpit stand before us unable to continue as his heart was broken.

He could not continue and needed a few minutes to compose himself. He announced that there were counselors and other ministers available for individuals who needed help processing the information. At this point, I am still numb and trying to figure things out in my own way, so here goes....

There is evil in our world and we are constantly doing battle trying to do the right thing. As I tell the kids and my students: "The right thing to do is often the hardest." Therefore combating bad decision making is something that we all struggle with in our lives.

I am dumbfounded that a man of the cloth could heinously perform any sadistic act on a child. Further, there is no excuse for this madness. As adults, we are to protect not only our own children, but the children of the world. Feed, clothe, soothe, comfort, and teach....are just a few of the roles that we have when entrusted to the development of a child. No where is there a statement that says: "By the way, take advantage of the powerless and the innocent...."...."Go and ruin their lives with moments of madness....." No one has permission to take away the innocence of a child...no one....

Is this sordid phenomenon restricted to the clergy? Nope. Last week a 47 year old swimming coach was arrested for meeting one of his swimmers at a motel, giving her beer, and ......(you know the rest....I cannot even type what happened).

I do not know what is going on in our world, but I need to be more vigilant, less naive, and more observant. I have the privilege of  moving in multiple circles and if I cannot be part of the solution, then I am part of the problem. My vow is to never be duped by someone who hides behind a title or position. Anyone can be a predator and pedophile and it is up to us as global citizens to confront it when we suspect something is happening. Did I know that this pastor had these proclivities? Absolutely not! According to this statement, the incident occurred 40 years ago. Nothing since? Really? Hmmmm....

As global citizens, I encourage each reader to educate themselves, watch and take care of the vulnerable. We have a mandate to love one another and that does not mean when it is convenient for us. This means all of the time.....

Do I blame the church at all? Tough question.....today the answer is "no" since I believe that the church is bigger than a few misguided, sick individuals. Therefore, I will continue to practice my faith AND will be more vigilant. I m not sure what I can do except watch and pray, yet as I saw a friend is Starbucks after mass, she was still crying. We stood there just looking at each other. I had nothing to say, 'cause I was still speechless. But I vow that I will look for ways to be involved in the prevention of child abuse of any form. I am not sure how since I am still in a state of shock, but somehow....some way.....BP mom is on the watch.....a community activist and someone who has to help to protect as many children as she can. I encourage all to be part of the solution too.