Sniff sniff...he's gone and so is the laundry room filled with dirty socks, hundreds of tee shirts, and sneakers. There are no opened doors, water bottles in the sofa cushions, dirty dishes in the sink and around the house, chocolate wrappers on the floor, or bathrooms without toilet paper....sigh...I miss the big kid...Before he left, I had to inspect his bedroom to make sure that it was clean. He stood next to me as I examined the bed, night stand, and desk for trash or dirty clothes. I then asked him: "Should I open the closet?" His reply was: "Please don't." OK, I will do it after a tetanus shot or if I see anything crawling from it. I am positive that he jammed everything into it yesterday morning. Perhaps after a glass of wine, I will have enough courage to open the closet door and peak inside...no hurry...
Last night, he texted me as he watched his favorite football player Tim Tebow in Denver. He and Big Red watched the entire game without LW interrupting with a new rap song.
As we drove home, I was quiet, introspective, and sad. I really love when he is around, yet he is 19 years old and has to be launched. He is living his dream, so I have to be happy for him. It this thought alone that helps me to keep perspective. Sadly, knowing that he will not be home until August for a few weeks does not help me. Therefore I will look at the positive aspects of Buddy's departure:
1. We have more food in the house
2. I do not have to create 5 course meals each night. We can go back to protein and a salad and be satisfied.
3. Money will not disappear at an alarming rate for gas or morning bagels.
4. Utility bills will be lower as the rest of us do not take three daily showers or leave lights on all night.
5. We will chat more since the big kid likes to call when he walks to class, practice, and study hall.
6. As the season begins, Tink and I strap on the lucky sneakers and head for parts of the country that we have read about it in books and watched on CNN.
7. I can continue to learn more about him as I listen to the games on the radio and see him on television.
8. We are privileged to live with the highs and lows of the baseball season.
9. There will be more LW drama
10. I can observe the metamorphosis of a little boy with a big dream as he grows into a young man with a bigger dream.
And so, there you have it in a nutshell...the highs and the lows of raising a child to leave home and find his way in the world. He has roots and wings...don't forget about us kiddo...we are here at home, eating a salad and listening to your game and praying that you can strike the batter out.... Vaya con Dios...