Friday, January 30, 2015

Putting things into perspective

Morning! Blustery day in the northeast....cold....time for a change...Or, it is time to buy gloves and a hat. That's right. I need gloves and keep putting it off thinking that when I buy them, I won't need them anymore. Duh....It is January, right? It's not that I like the cold, because I do not. However, I don't like the gloves constricting my hands. It is a weird feeling....Yes, cold is a weird feeling too. Don't judge....Better yet...don't try to understand.

Today is another scrimmage day. The kid does the usual....Jeremy Lin.....Chinese salts, arm care...mental imagery...and so on....

He shared with me about his latest session with the sports doc. The session went well and there were some break throughs that have calmed him. Geez, I want someone like this to bounce ideas off, but the only person that I have is dad and he is no good at this stuff. He'll say "get over it....why are you's nothing...." What happened to acknowledging then exploring feelings? Perhaps, I could call Dr. Phil. I can see the show now......

Fade to black.....

Dr Phil: "Today, we have with us a woman known as BP Mom. BPM has been blogging under a pen name for a number of years explaining her son's journey to the major league baseball or major league depression. She has experienced the ups and downs with her child and  has runs the gamut of  emotions that swing as high as the top of huge pile of cow chips to the lows of the barnacles on the bottom of a dinghy.  Let's extend a warm welcome.....Tell me, BPM, why you are here...."

BPM: "Hi Phil. It is so good to meet you. Geez, you are so famous. The only famous person that I have met before you is Lisa Scottoline and that was at a wedding for like a minute. She's really cool...although I could see that she wanted to get away from me.....Too much information?"

Dr. Phil: "Yep. Now tell the audience, why do you need a therapist as famous as me?"

BPM: "well, Dr. Phil or may I call you Phil?"

Dr Phil: "No"

BPM: "Ok, Dr. Phil. I am here because I do not have a therapist at home. People like my husband think that I have it all together. Sure, it looks that way...nice career, family, pantry, I have it all...including the remnants of the Christmas mom makes great food....and cookie fest was successful. I ate those cookies in a few days.....Some day I will be able to zip the pants....yet, I do not have someone to listen to me when I want to whine. Why is that?"

Dr Phil: "Gurl, you do not get it. No one wants to listen to a pampered, self indulgent woman...although those extra pounds do not look that bad."

BPM: "Oh. I get it. I really do not need therapy, just a grip on life. Right?"

Dr. Phil: "The only thing that you need are bigger pants. Feel better?"

Dr. Phil: "Our next guest is a helicopter mom who has been known to peel her college age daughter's clementines while she slept....give a yee ha for Clementine Mom...."

And that is that Dr. Phil has fixed me, I can concentrate on the big guy and send to him good vibes, thoughts, and prayers. Knock 'em dead, a metaphorical way....


Wednesday, January 28, 2015

Perfect Doggone

Good morning! We beat the snow and I could NOT be happier...although the pups like to eat the ice. OYE! That's right. They run out, do their business, then eat the ice as a snack. Low calories, no fat...just a little fiber from the grass and trees...

These pups are too funny and bad...really bad...when I say 'bad', I mean not very good. So, I have made another executive decision, the Perfect Dog video goes back and I get a refund. We cannot get past command 1. How am I going to get through the next 49 without mastering the first?

And so, I pulled out the packet of information given to me by the vet. On the paper, there is a list of 8 training experts. The last expert is an animal behavioral psychologist with a Ph.d. Do I dare? Should I call her? Am I that bad off? Or should I continue to pattern the behavior by rewarding good deeds and scolding for bad deeds?

After reading two books on dog training and viewing the perfect dog DVDs, I am more confused than ever....Here's the conflicting information:

  • If the dog has an accident in the house, do not raise your voice because you will embarrass them and they will hide their elimination somewhere you cannot see it.
  • Another books says that dogs no not have feelings, just reactions, so scolding is OK.
  • Do not use the crate for punishment.
  • Use the crate for punishment
  • Take the dog out every 15 minutes.
  • Take the dog out when you you let them out of the crate
  • The dog will not piddle or poo in their crate (did someone want to share this one with the Terrible Two?)
  • use a harness
  • don't use a harness
  • Use a choke collar
  • Do not use a choke collar
  • fasten their leash onto your pants when they are out of the crate
  • allow them to run around when they are out of the crate
  • use treats to reward good behavior
  • no not use treats to reward good behavior
  • put a coat on the dog
  • don't put a coat on the dog

Now can you see the confusion? Yep.....And so, I am going to call the doggie behaviorist, send the perfect dog back through the imperfect mail,  and begin the process again. Why am I so fixated on their behavior?

Well, these pups are pretty cool. They are close to being darn perfect companions, so I want to begin to relax and allow them out of their crates and full movement throughout the house. But I cannot do it until they have the basics mastered. 'Nuff said....

Although....we had a bit of an issue with the groomer. I may have posted in the past that we had to bring the dogs to this groomer to be interviewed. Yep, he would not trim them unless they passed a test. And so, Tink and I took the pups to the uber groomer who is nationally known and ranked in the top ten (who does this?). After holding our breath, the groomer took on the twins. Yahoo.

May I say that I now see how he is so well known? His work is impeccable. As I compared his grooming with Diva's trips to Pet Smart, there is absolutely no comparison. It is like comparing fine champagne (which I never had) to boxed wine (which I have had). I am now sure that I have champagne tastes.

Back to the groomer...he's a bit of a hermit and odd little guy who smokes and has trouble breathing. When I called him yesterday to establish a time to bring the pups in today to be trimmed (and they really need it),  he said that he had pneumonia, needed surgery, and was on his way to the hospital. OH NO! Not my little hermit!

I truly hopes that he makes it through his health battles. He may be a little odd, but he is my  little odd, get better soon!

Looking at the puppies, their hair is so long that they cannot see out their eyes. They really needed a trim today. The last time that I trimmed the male's hair, my hermit got angry with me and told me to put down the scissors, so I don't dare pick them up. However, with his debilitating illness, he won't be able to trim the pups for another few weeks.

I don't want to appear petty and find someone else, but I have to. The vet said that the hair can damage their eyes. So, I have several options.
  1. Go back to petSmart
  2. Go to another groomer on the list who needs the pups to have more shots before she will see them
  3. call the 2nd groomer who lives an hour away from the house to trim the pups
  4. Call the mobile groomer who gave Diva her last hair cut then proceeded to give himself a $20 tip for stopping in my driveway, using my water, and trimming a 5 pound dog for 5 minutes. 
Options 1,2 and 4 were eliminated.

I called option  3. She cannot see the hairy pups until March 3. That's right. She is so booked, that she cannot see them for another 6 weeks.

This is madness! Let's do BP mom math....she sees 8 dogs/ her home studio....charges minimum of $75/dog.....5 times 8 carry the four....subtract 3.....divide 2.....

OK, I am going into a new line of grooming!

With that said, I am off to work, which has nothing to do with scissors.


Tuesday, January 27, 2015


Snow! Go away! Doesn't Mother Nature know that we are trying to get ready for baseball? Actually, we are pretty lucky here. We missed out of the fun that is going on in New England. Sorry, gang....but I can see the grass from my office desk and am not in a panic at all. In fact, I am going to head out to the gym in a few minutes.

How is preparation for the season going? Well, as always, there is never a dull moment. As regular readers know, I am missing my first and possibly last first pitch dinner. Here is where the team is introduced and the coaches say hello...and hello...and hello some more.....Banquets...long, boring speeches....I love them. Sadly, this year, the team put the dinner together at the last minute and I am already booked.

It also means that I will not be the first in line for the 2015 poster that has the seniors photos in action on it. Therefore, I said to the big kid: "Can you grab 10 posters for me?" Let's see I need one for BP Grandmom, the house, the refrigerator, BP aunts and uncles, my office and so on....His response was "I don't think that I am on it."

Huh? What? Whaddya mean? Not on it?

You're a senior! I have every poster from the last 4 years. All seniors are on it. That's it. ALL Seniors....let me be clear. Every graduating senior whether they play or not are on the poster. That's it. it is a rule....a policy....always done...what do you mean? You are a senior, right? Or am I delusional?

"Ma, they took pictures of the guys and I was not asked to be photographed."

OK, let's be logical. Perhaps they already have your photo. In fact, I remember some uber cool photos taken last year that are amazing. Maybe they will use a photo from the file....right?

"I doubt it."


"I would rather start than be on a poster."

Nice rationalization, however, I can only imagine that he is somewhat horrified that he has not been asked. Therefore, I still contend that he is on it but does not know. I will hold on to it. However.....

If this is the case and they have knowingly excluded him from the poster (albeit, it really is not that important, yet it is), there will be a mushroom cloud over the campus when the season is over, 'cause there will be nothing to hold me back at that point.

Am I wrong to be peeved about something stupid like a poster? Maybe...Maybe not.

The reality is that all seniors should be included. That's it. Yet, this is par for this fact....

Stoner, the team captain who failed two drug tests this year, was labeled "Pitcher of the Week" by the coach(es). He pitched 2 innings with 1 strikeout versus the big lefty who pitched 4 innings with 6K's, no walks, no runs. As I compare the two sets of statistics, my mathematical skills are not lacking here. It seems that if we go on numbers, the clear winner is not Stoner. But, who am I? just an interested fan.

Listen, I am not a helicopter parent who is hovering. Nope. I gave that up when the kid was in kindergarten. They have to learn through  life's ups and downs. I cannot stand in the way of life's lessons. Sometimes we will be the winners. Sometimes we lose. Yet, the important lesson is that we never give up trying.

All in all, Pitcher of the Week and a photo on a poster are unimportant. What is important is how a person conducts themselves when they win or lose. There will always be people who do not like us because of the color of our eyes, skin, or personality. They will hate us. They will love us. Again, this is not important. What is important is to conduct our lives and activities with integrity, kindness, and compassion. We are here for a finite time and as I say to the big guy "If everyone likes us, then we are doing something wrong."

With that said, I will check out the annual poster and keep my elation or disappointment to myself. After all, the lefty is right: "I would rather start than be on a poster." Well said, my son.

Going to the gym....Peace!

Sunday, January 25, 2015

You're no good

Morning! And it is a good morning! Yep. I had the first good night's sleep in months....why? I'll tell you....because dad and the pups did not get up before the crack of dawn. That's right. They stayed in bed and asleep until! This is an amazing feeling. It is 10 am and I am not looking for another cup  of coffee to keep me alert until 5 pm. Do most people get this feeling? It should be bottled....

Speaking of bottled....I finally had the opportunity to go to the spa for my facial. I was given a gift card two years ago and promised myself that I would use it. If I remember correctly, the facial ends with a shoulder massage, aromatherapy, and an opportunity to relax before heading out....did this happen? Uh, no.....not exactly....

You see, the gift card was for the chain of massage spas across the country. In other words, the aestheticians have a strict schedule and have to have their clients out of the room at exactly 55 minutes after the start of the facial/massage. So, I finally allow myself to relax when the lights go on, I am handed a bottle of water, and am ushered to the desk to drop a tip off for the woman who opened and closed my pores. Before the lights went on, she shared that my skin should be exfoliated every day to knock off build up. OK, I am listening....I have skin build up. Isn't this a good thing?

"Nope. you have to exfoliate every day."

OK, I need to exfoliate to rid myself of my skin?

"No, exfoliate to get rid of skin build up."

Oh, I get it. Too much skin....I still think that this is a good thing.....but Bambi, after inspecting my skin and pores does not.

"We have a product that you can use on a daily basis that is gentle and will exfoliate while you are in the shower. You definitely need it."

I do, huh. Well, if I have too much skin, then let's go and get it.

AS I walked to the desk to pay for my exfoliation product, I continued to think that I had just enough skin. But if Bambi says that I have too much and at 20 years old, she is an expert, I will definitely buy her product.

Standing by the register to pay, I asked how much my dead skin killer was...."Oh, this is $52.00."

I stared at the little bottle and made a decision that I was satisfied with my surplus of skin.

"But don't worry. It lasts for at least two years."

Two years. Let me do the math.....$26.00 per year....365 days a year.....divide by each day...this works out to be pennies a day...sort of...I think. I could use a calculator but did not to be more embarrassed with my math skills since I already had too much skin.

I'll take it. As I handed her my well worn American Express card, I made the executive decision to have soup for dinner.....And I will serve it with less skin on my face. Good stuff, eh?

On to the big guy. He is still complaining and we made another decision not to talk about the Czar any more. The lefty has to learn to deal with guys like this and now is the time.

However, after he threw on Friday, he had one more story....."I had a guy 3-2 and was trying not to walk him when I threw a nasty curve ball and struck him out. I put my fist in the air and ran back to the dug out. The Czar walked up to me and said: 'Knock it off. Act like you do this all the time.'" And those were his only words about his performance on the mound where he struck out 6 guys with no walks or runs in 4 innings.

The reality is that the coach has nothing to add and is upset that this guy does not hang on every word. He wants zombies for players and not guys who think. Therefore, he is out of luck with this kid. In his own strange way, he is keeping the kid humble. Guess what? This has been going on all his life. He is always told that he is no good, stinks, or has no talent. He is proving them all wrong. Naturally, there is a moral to this story that we will witness and get by at the end of the season.

Enjoy Linda Ronstadt's "You're no good!" 

Time for me to finish my laundry.


Saturday, January 24, 2015

First Scrimmage of the Season

Good morning! It is snowy, rainy, and misty in the northeast. Fortunately, Mother Nature stopped at 1 inch in our region. I can still see the grass and now the driveway has been plowed by the landscaper. Sadly, I never contracted him to do the work, but hey.....I am going to enjoy this until I get the bill....then I will pay it. I would love this plowing if I did not just pay $300.00 to have the snow blower fixed. No complaints. I have a money tree, don't you?

Ok, on to the big guy and his scrimmage last night. We got the call at 12:30 am. In a moment of brilliance, I put the phone by dad's head before I went to bed. Therefore, dad picked up the early morning call and I listened to the update.

Before the scrimmage, the Czar had a two hour mental meeting with a guest appearance by the women's volleyball coach. This coach has won 7 national championships. Yes, that is 7 more than the Czar has won.....the coach proceeded to contradict everything the Czar has uttered as performance enhancers for the past year. The guys just sat back, listened, and smirked a bit.

Then the Czar pulled out a clip of Navy Seals to show how bonded they were as a team. What happened to the rugby team's dance fest from yesterday's post? Now we are on to the Seals who eat, sleep, and live and die for each other. We are comparing ourselves with the Seals? Nice.

Based on the last two mental sessions, the Czar wants a team that kills the enemy and dances with one another. Great mental image.....I definitely have to pull out the boxed wine for this season.

On to the scrimmage....there were numerous cameras following the Czar around during practice. I guess he might have his own local (cable based) television show. Although, I cannot be sure.

The lefty was on the mound for 4 walks, 6 K's, three weak hits.....slider and change up are on.

When asked what the Czar thought, the big guy said "nothing. he was too busy talking to cameras."

How about the pitching coach?

He was upset about a low ball that was supposed to be high. OK. The catcher who was not his regular guy lied and told the coach that he sent a high signal when he gave a low. In other words, this catcher did not back him up. So much for Navy Seal camaraderie, right?

When I spoke to the lefty this morning, I focused on other things such as correcting errors and looking at what he did right rather than on the Czar and his hatred of him. yeah, it seems that the Czar is not only indifferent to his number 1, but wants to see him not succeed so that he can say "I told you so. You're nothing."

However, say these words to the big guy and he will prove you wrong. The Czar thinks that he is an ego maniac, which is not far from the truth. But, I submit to you, that he needs to have a healthy dose of ego to make it through the twists and turns of his chosen profession. In other words, if he was a meek and mannered guy, he would be twisting pretzels in a kiosk in the mall.

What the Czar does not know is that he can turn it off when he is off the field. As the big guy says: "I am arrogant, but humble enough to admit it." As far as I am concerned, I get it. leave him alone to perform at the level that he can and stop with the mind games. OK?

"nuff said....

I am off to the gym. It is time to work out the muscles.....

By the way, we were laughing as I kept reminding the kid what a great movie this would make. I foresee John Goodman as the Czar....who would play him?

The big guy wants Bradley Cooper, but sadly, BC is too old for this movie. Perhaps BC can play dad or Coach T (who is now working for his dad after spending ten years in the minors). Me? At first, I said Cameron Diaz with a dark wig but my son (whose birthday is coming up and seems to be expecting some neat stuff :-)) claims Sandra Bullock is a better choice....ahh shucks....

Off I go....