Friday, April 27, 2012

The road to respectability

No sign of baby yet. Buttercup and family wait not-so- patiently. Although this morning at 3 am, I checked my text messages to see if she sent word to me. After all, I am in the loop (OK, one loop over) and am anxiously awaiting for word that she is in labor. Then I will hop into the BP mom-mobile and get over to the hospital in time to say "happy birthday" to the wee one.

Yep, I am totally fixated on this newborn and not on my own kids. What does this say? Am I done with them or do they have absolutely nothing going on of interest to me? The answer is probably a bit of both.

Tink and Buddy are finishing their semesters this week and will be home for the summer. There will be one car for them to share and fill with gas. Both kids will be working, seeing friends, and working out. How will they negotiate use of the transportation? Let's car + two kids = trouble. Any permutation spells "look out".

This will be a good opportunity for them to learn new styles of communication, negotiation, and problem solving skills under the guidance of a parent. Sure, it can come to whoever yells the loudest, wins the use of the car for the day. But my spidey senses are tingling and they say that if one kid takes the car and the other does not have a ride to work, BP mom will get involved and each day will drop both of them off at a bus stop or train station to get to their jobs. Finito.....In other words, be leaders and work out the problem before it becomes an issue.

Personally, I would like both kids to have their own cars, but dad refuses to buy either them a car. Why? I am not really sure, but I look back on my past and no one bought me one. In fact, I shared one car with my two brothers. Otherwise, if the station wagon was available, I could use it. Great car....lots of space...the friends loved it. As far as I was concerned, I hated it. It was an old mom's car and I wanted a flashy two door red car that had a sun roof, not a green paneled Ford LTD that seated 8 with seat belts and 13 without seat belts. The one bright spot was the air conditioning and leather seats. Otherwise, I was driving my mother's car and the whole world knew it. Now BP Grandmom drives a Camry. Why couldn't she do this when I lived at home and needed respectable transportation? No big deal, I was pretty superficial back then and eventually bought a station wagon to shuffle the kids around in elementary school. What goes round, comes round, eh?

A year before we had a family, I did get my sports car. I loved everything about it....the seats, the front lights would pop up, and the moon roof. It was definitely cool. For some reason, I could not affix the infant car seat in the back and had to take it to the shop. When questioning the service technician as to why I could not buckle the seat belt with the car seat, he sneered: "This is not a car for children." OK, so, you are saying that now that I am a mother, I cannot drive this car and have them in the back seat? "Yeah....what was your first clue?" Nasty....

And so, BP mom started her research and found an uber safe sedan with four doors and lots of air bags and started on the road to suburban respectability. No more sports dream car became a Volvo station wagon with four wheel drive. That's a decision that I have never regretted and as I reflect back, it was the only decision to make. In fact, the BP Grandparents had it right when they bought the large paneled station wagon that I had called the "Cruise-mobile." They knew that it was the safest car on the market even though I needed two parking spaces to park it. It was a tank and lasted for years while taking us on many a road trip.

Speaking of road trips, I still feel that I have to check on Buttercup and should be ready to zip to the hospital. Breathe and out....go girl...Thinking about the little girl who is going to enter our family, I want her in the safest car possible. Gang, let's forget about the little zippy cars or the sports cars. This child needs steel and a safe car with air bags surrounding her at all times. In fact, can we put air bags up and down the stairs, in her crib, bassinet, around her stroller, and high chair? After all, like any child, she is precious cargo.

Have a great day.

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