Sunday, March 30, 2014

Do I have to grovel?

Dad said to me the other night: "You are only happy as your saddest child." Which in a way, he is right on target. A friend posted on FB, "When your child hurts, you hurt." Boy does this ring true
Why? Well, yesterday, the big leftie was left 'inactive' for the game. In other words, the other pitchers including guys who have not pitched since the fall were eligible to play in the conference game. On the other hand, the kid with one of the lowest ERAs on the team, sat on the bench and breathed.

What is going on? Well, he and I did not speak yesterday. Either he was too emotional, did not need to speak to his ma about his disappointment, or he did not want to burden me with his angst to call. I am not sure what the reason was, but I went with it and intentionally did not make contact, yet I watched half of the game with a sad heart.

As the game began, LW was back on the mound and pulled after 2.1 innings with 8 hits and 3 walks and 5 runs.....not great pitching....then they put the walk on freshmen in and this must have killed my boy as he sat and breathed....hard....deep...angrily....Mind you, they played a team that was worse than them in the conference, so the win was so so, rather than a big deal. Hey, play against a team that can hit and watch the bravado be flushed down the toilet. I even cussed yesterday when I heard the news....I instantly regretted it, because these guys should not affect me in any way. I am just sad for my son.

After a few hours, dad called and had an epiphany.....he recalled all the conversations that he had with his son about the coach and realized that the big leftie has been benched because of his confidence in the Pitching Doctor's methods. In other words, no coach wants to be told what is the best method for his players. They have fragile egos and want the players to acquiesce to their power. Therefore, having this passion for another coach's system placed my guy all the way down the ladder...until he....

grovels to get his position back. That's right. He has to go to the coach...although he did and was promptly benched and deactivated....(another story for later)....he has to tell the coach that he knows best and will never mention the PD again. If the coach wants him to throw 70, he will suck his breath in and toss the ball to the batter. He has to get back onto the mound, therefore, in my own poetic words....he has to kiss the coaches' butts.

This messes with the confidence that he has struggled to build since his surgery. He needs it to face the batters yet, the coach will only put him in if he is broken...not the coach screamed at him one night.

And so, I wait to see if the kid is active for today's game. Yes, I took yesterday's benching hard because I knew what it did mentally to the big leftie. It is humiliating for him. He has the stuff. He was told by the coaches and a scout that he is 'dirty' and so...what the heck!?

OK, I will continue to watch and type. This will make a good movie of the week when we finish this story. Until then, I have to stop out my own frustration because it is not about me. It is about a little boy with a big dream and a huge boulder called the coach standing in front of him.

As St. Pio always said..."Pray, hope, and don't worry...." Praying and hoping are to work on the worry part....


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