Thursday, February 2, 2012

The next great invention

Some convoluted thoughts are running around the little wheel in my mind this morning....It's Groundhog's Day and I have yet to receive the memo....is winter over yet? How does this little scrawny ground hog know about meteorological maps? Did he read the Farmer's Almanac? Does a Midwestern farmer write it? Is the Groundhog a boy or girl? Does it matter? Why do I care? Actually, I don't. Punxatawny Pete is an actual rodent whom you would not like living in your backyard, yet we listen to him as if he is Willard Scott.

In my backyard, I have all kinds of wildlife such as hawks, deer, foxes and once upon a time "wabbit". I believe that the rabbits are gone because of the foxes. Last week, I counted three foxes and they were singing to each other. The sound was high pitched and lengthy. Tink and I looked out to see if an animal was being killed because the sound was piercing and screeching. Once we figured it out that the foxes were communicating with one another, we looked around for the rabbits and did not see any...dinner, anyone? Sad...it's like I am the Jane Goodall of suburbia rather than Africa. I sit by my window and observe wildlife in their unnatural habitat. I have not learned much about it through observation, but I am taking mental notes which should be lost in the quagmire of my mind any time now.

On the baseball front, the team has been practicing outside. The weather has been remarkably calm and spring-like, so any time that you can be on an actual field rather than in a man-made bubble, the team is going to jump at it. Remember, these are tough guys who play baseball in the snow and rain. The coldest game that I attended was 24 degrees in April of last year. I could not move with the layers that I was wearing. This year, I am contemplating bringing a space heater and extension cord. Now that would be luxurious! I wonder if anyone at the gates would stop me with my portable space heater? True, they do not allow food or beverages or fire arms to come into the stadium, but there are no space heater policies or signs.

Therefore, since there are no published policies, I can be a rebel like Norma Ray or James Dean or even Paula Deen. No one would stop Paula Deen with a space heater under her coat, would they? Let's take it another step...what if I created a battery powered space heater that could be brought to baseball and football games? Like the Amish and their portable fire places....what would it take....it could be the size of a shoe box, use four "D" batteries, and emit heat for 5 hours. What an idea! Do you think the guys on that Shark Show on ABC would go for it? Am I destined to be the next great inventor? Or is it time for me to go back to my day job...I think so...later!

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