Friday, March 6, 2015

Squirrels and Irish Spring

Good morning! It's cold in the south.

Yes, I know that the north had more snow, but the south is not supposed to be cold in March. This is a fact. That's why the birds fly south. It is also the reason why restaurants created the early bird special, because we like a good meal at a fair price.

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With the forecast out of the way, I am hoping....OK, praying that the game tonight is postponed for a double header tomorrow. Game time temperature is set for 35 degrees with wind. Even ice hockey players would ask for rescheduling.

Although, I am ready to hit the open road again, especially after taking care of my latest mechanical issue.

Last Friday, as I was running errands, I noticed that the car was not running efficiently and started to worry since I was scheduled to drive to North Carolina.

I don't know if you picked up on this trait, but I am a worrier by nature and thus called the dealership in a panic.

"Please, take the car and fix it. By the way, I need a loaner for the weekend. K?"

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The dealership was terrific and gave me a brand spanking new top of the line model with XM radio, navigation, and weather forecasting. This was a very sweet ride. While I was driving my 2015 $60,000 car, I never once thought about the 2008 model that was sitting in the service area until I got the phone call.

"Hello, BP mom, hope that you are enjoying the car. Our top notch service team have found the problem in you car."

Ok, let's hear it. It needs a tune up, right?

"Uh,no, BPM, it is much more than a tune up and oil change. It seems that squirrels have been living in the engine while you have been hard at work in the northeast. Therefore, they have chewed through wires and left excrement in the motor."

Squirrels? Really? This does not seem possible because the car is garaged.

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"You unbelieving fool.....look at this photo...."

"Please note the wires that have been chewed through...also note the squirrel poo."

Got it. This is not good, right?

"That is correct. We need a part which we can order. The car needs to be cleaned...rotors fixed....wires replaced and reconnected....and an oil change."

Ok, fine....price, please? Are we talking 'ouch' or 'mamma mia'?

"We are talking $$$$$$.00"

Dang squirrel! That's right! Double dang! Triple dang!

Let me call my husband and I will get back to you.

The following conversation could not be recorded in this blog. Therefore, I will just say "sheesh.....I did not chew on the wires nor did I live in the engine, so chill!"

After a few days, the car was ready to pick up. Naturally, they vacuumed the car and for the first time ever, my engine. As the service technician and I went to the cash register, I handed her my trusty American Express card which has not failed me this trip.


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Huh? No, not possible. Run it again.


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Deep breath...OK, try my Mastercard......


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Now, this really stinks....and I am incredibly embarrassed. This had happened once before when I was buying a pillow in the local southern Target. My credit card company thought that my card was stolen and put a hold on it. I can see one card denying the bill, but both? Obviously, the high invoice located out of the northeast placed a hold on both cards.

Crud. Double crud! Triple crud.

Unfortunately, I had to call the man in the northeast who has been shoveling snow since I left. Once again, I cannot share the conversation but the service tech could hear his voice over the phone. Not pretty.

Finally, he called back and gave me another credit card to use which finally worked. Actually, I am not sure what I would have done if this did not go through. After all, I could not wash dishes like I would have in a restaurant. Although with the expensive invoice, they would have had me hand wash every car on the lot before my bill was settled.

Bathed in a pool of perspiration, the service tech pretending that she did not hear the conversation, smiled, and gave me some advice.....

"Irish Spring soap."

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What, I smell too? That's a personal comment, dontchathink?

"Use Irish Spring on the tires and place a bar in the motor when you are away. The squirrels hate the smell."

Oh....interesting....and now, I know something new.

Squirrels hate Irish Spring. I will use this information to keep my motor and wires safe from a hungry squirrel family. I can also pull it out when I have nothing to say at a party.

And with that said, I have to get ready to travel north in my poo free car.

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Go team!


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